The need to be needed
I may sound like a hypocrite right now, but I miss being needed at work. Maybe it’s a female motherly instinct, but I miss work. Not the work environment obviously, but I miss someone wanting my services and for me to deliver something in return. I know I kept telling my self that I will never miss work, but I do at times. Maybe it will take some time for me to transition into a self-indulged human being who’s current aim in life is trying to figure out what she wants to do in this lifetime. It’s hard to think of what you want when your mind is running around in millions of directions.
I tried to force my self to start doing freelance work, but I lost interest in looking into it. Sometimes I have great ideas of starting my own business, and I start building towards it, but I can’t force my self to start thinking beyond a dream. Maybe I just need a bit more imagination and determination before I start something big.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever apply for jobs again. Right now I don’t want to. I don’t have the patience to go to interviews anymore and being let down. I just need sufficient time to think about what I really want from life. Do I want to be a member of the corporate world again? Or do I want to take matters in my own hands?
I think I am a typical 80’s child who wants so much, but doesn’t know which direction to take; just aimless.
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Welcome to the club! I’ve been aimless for years now. I would like to say things get better but they don’t for the most part. You will work again but it probably will not be something you will be too thrilled about. You will probably take what you can get. This economy tends to crush people’s dreams. Welcome to the global economy where only the rich have fulfilling lives and publish books claiming us poor peasants can have one too if only we wish upon a star and sprinkle fairy dust all over ourselves. I shouldn’t be so doom and gloom. There is always hope your next job will be an improvement over the one you left.
We always miss the things we once had I guess, even if that thing really sucked, like prisoners miss being in prison (as in the Shawshank Redemption). It all makes sense – hapiness and unhapiness being two sides of the same coin. ANYWAY, this sentence stood out to me, “I tried to force my self to start doing freelance work, but I lost interest in looking into it.” Wow you couldn’t be bothered even BEFORE the first step. That’s inertia on an awe inspiring scale.
And it can get better.. but only by luck. But then luck only happens when you’re in the right place for luck. Like you’d only be run over if you go lie on the road.
Am I making sense?
Yep.. you are making sense and I agree with you.
turn back to God. God shall help you. do you think of not being rebellious!