The discussion in this article is solely my nit-picky opinion based on Wel’s comment to the post The Arab Forbidden Love that I received yesterday. If you think I am sexist, prejudiced, insane, or plain closed minded, then I am glad you made that observation.
Based on Wel’s comment, I am assuming that Wel is not an Arab, and knows non-Arab females married to Arabs or are in a relationship with Arabs.
I am going to skew that thought a little bit and speak from my experience and observations of my fellow Arab men towards love, relationships, and marriage. Only because I am an Arab, and I know many Arabs with devastating stories that make you wonder if this concept called love even exists, and if it means anything to Arab males. Who knows, maybe it is males in general who come from a overly demanding culture that suffer from the lack of love.
Some Arab males only love to act like they are something cooler. I kind of figured that out when I was around the age of 19, and noticed that those open minded, socially obsessed, and culturally devoted Arab males are hypocrites. They do whatever they want such as drinking, clubbing, having sex, doing drugs, and never acknowledging to non-Arabs that they are proud of their culture. Some think that it is cool to tell people that they want to be Italian or Greek. Sure, if comparing your self to other cultures is what makes you happy, then go ahead. Just don’t pretend to be Arab when it comes to more serious issues that affect our name.
Arab males love to experiment with non-Arabs. I noticed that more and more Arab males have serious relationships with non-Arab females. That’s their choice, however, why do they treat their wives or girlfriends so badly? Your mother didn’t want her in the first place, why did you pretend that love is the answer and marrying a non-Arab is better for you in the long term? What long term? In our Arab culture and all Arabs know this, that if you marry someone, you are marrying their entire family. That includes the culture, the religion, and way of thinking.
Love, it is such an obscure concept in a male oriented culture. I noticed that some Arab men believe in love, and others, well, if the girl is not like his mother, he will never ever love her. She is just there for decoration and to look good in front of his family. Arab females till this day are used by Arab males as decoration. The better she looks, the better the choice he has made for the sake of his family. Why love, if looks mean more?
Looks fade away over time. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have to agree with that, but why do Arab females as they age have to suffer from male’s arrogance and unappreciative behaviour towards them? Looks don’t last forever, so why do you start hating your wife and putting her down after all these years together? It’s because you never loved her but loved only her looks and the way she looks by your side.
I read this last part in Wel’s comment which made me laugh a bit. Actually, laugh hysterically, who am I kidding? Wel said the following,
“I happened to had a chance to ask question about ‘loving someone’ from different Arab (men) individuals on different occasions. Surprisingly they gave me the same answer, ï¿½We donï¿½t love, we just make love; be happy!!!”
Oh my Lord, what kind of guys did Wel talk to to make such a claim? The problem is, that I agree with it 100%. I heard it too, and I read such stupidity on many sites and while chatting with some Arab males. I wish those men had a brain to accompany such arrogance. They are the ones that bring shame to the name of Arab.
My advice, learn to love. However, are you up for the challenge?