“Something productive”

Every time someone speaks to me and wonders what I am doing in my life, they throw this phrase, “why don’t you do something productive?” Ok? I think to my self, so if I am beyond weak, my brain is a roller coaster and is a bit all over the place, and the last thing I can think of that takes more than 2 brain cells to compute is doing something productive.

I don’t feel like thinking about it now. I really don’t. I don’t know what this productive thing they are thinking of. If I watch TV, isn’t that productive? If I read a book, isn’t that productive? Writing and maintaining websites, isn’t that productive? Being a social active internet person who knows all the latest news, isn’t that productive? WHY DOES HAVING A JOB AND WORKING THE ONLY THING LABELED IN OUR SOCIETY AS BEING PRODUCTIVE?

Some people say I am wasting my talents. I say I am enhancing them by reading and getting to know what’s out there. When I wasn’t sick I was actually exploring new realms of life. Trying to understand what my talents are. What talents do I have? What can I, as a girl, as an Arab girl living in Canada, do to be part of this society and become something important. Maybe that’s the problem, I always wanted to be something important and recognizable within my society. Maybe that’s why I maintain this site with all my heart. It’s because I am doing something important. I am known to stand for something and have my voice heard about issues that people don’t know how to discuss. Isn’t that productive?

I am craving more fruits. That’s all I have been eating, and sweet savory grapes make me sleepy and my brain numb. Eating is also productive… because it keeps you healthy.

Blah Blah, Sleepy Post, They said what?, Whatever!