Asking relationship advice from the last person on earth

The last person, pictured above, to get relationship advice from, is the most amazing person you will ever meet. Also, the goofiest person you will ever meet, and happens to love making faces and laughing at people.
ME!
Oh man, where shall I start people? I will start off by the numerous emails I get from people. I love you people, but when you ask for relationship advice from me, then you seriously have problems. No offense, I am not questioning your intelligence. I know you are a very charming smart individual, but seriously, you are asking advice from the Rebellious Arab Girl. You are asking for a break up! You are asking to cry night after night, to weep a year from now, and to constantly bang your head at the bathroom mirror. Is that what you want? Are you people crazy?
Let me tell you a bit about my self my lovely clique of followers. I am going to be 28 years old in less than 20 days. I am not in a relationship with anyone. I have not had a real human relationship with anyone for maybe over 2 years now I think. I am a bit crazy. Guys only like me cause they “think” I am pretty. But once they get to know me, they either want to stay with me cause I am a hot Arab girl who actually looks like an Arab (hint hint), or they choose to live a lie and think they like my tough non-Arabic personality, just so they can say I am with a hot girl. Once I find out they don’t like me because I am tougher, smarter and more worldly than them, then I use the best weapon known to human kind, the internet blog world!
Yes, I made this blog to break up with guys. Well, one guy. Why the hell was I using a plural there? Anyways, so I made this blog to get back at him, insult him, tell him off, etc, because I refused to email or chat anymore with him. This obsession with me continued on up to late last year. Seven months later, he went off and got married and moved on. Only way to forget me is to marry any girl that lives far away from Canada as possible. So don’t have a relationship with me, because I am not your best choice. I may end up damaging your personality. Like TOTALLY!
So, that’s a bit about me. Who wants to have a relationship with me? If you do, I feel sorry for you. I still don’t understand why some guys email me through this blog telling me that they “love” me, and give me their digits. Does it look like I will call you?
Unfortunately, today, my dearest most awesome friend Lisa, that happens to be born the same day as me, but waaaaaay younger. 365 days younger. Jeez Lisa, you are getting old.
Anyways, I called her and she started sobbing and wondering about some guy. I told her, “dude, you are asking the wrong person. I am the last person you should ask. You know better!” She said, “but I have no one else, and you seem to know everything, and better understand guys than me.” Ok. That’s when I realized my best friend is on crack and needs her head checked. I told her, “yo, dude, FYI, when was the last time I had a relationship with ANY guy?” I don’t know if she got the point, but seriously, people need to wake up and have a taste of reality. Mona is not a relationship expert. I am the relationship destroyer.
Seriously, are you a guy who is crazy enough to have a relationship with a Rebellious Arab Girl? I didn’t think so.














Really enjoyed reading that
Haha
@Sabeur – I was being serious. You thought that was funny?
I am just kidden… hahaha..
Awww!!! Poor Mona. We all love you.
@Meyrick Kirby – I do not need sympathy!
“Once I find out they dont like me because I am tougher, smarter and more worldly than them,”
-wax on the ego, wax off the superego-
haha…who do you think you are? only greek goddesses stray away from long lasting love.
seriously though you’ll find that one arab guy who loves unconditionally.
@Brian – Greek Goddess? I can change it to Arab?
depends on when. cus you could assume the role of one of the deities like sin or enanna, they are all sumerian goddesses who did something or other to help the human race. or you could be more down to earth like nefertitti, or cleopetera.
there are plenty of arab goddesses, but why walk in some one elses footsteps when you can walk to create your own pathway.
@Brian – oooh. I can be rebellious arab goddess. mwahaha.. first of my kind. lol kind ? It’s like I am a different species. lol
I still think you are amazing even though I have never met you in real life I still enjoy reading your posts!
I agree with you regarding you not being the last person for a relationship advice. hehe no offense but as you’ve also said. That is the last thing we would have in mind for you.
Better keep your current jobs and excel in what you are doing right now.
Cheers.
could imagine you walking around with a scimitar and striking people upon the heads when they choose not to bow down to you…lol…and your abode would be an island castle in the sky. your rebelliousness would inspire millions to be rebellious and follow their own beat.
You should have a support network of friends and family who will give you love advice. These are the people who you can call when you need to vent and who will often freely dispense advice. Remember that they may not always be right or wrong, but they usually have your best interests at heart. Even if they have been divorced 8 times, they may still be able to give you advice on how to save your marriage as it is often easier to see the mistakes others make than to see them in yourself. The negative aspect of this is that they will always be on your side.
you have some great stuff going on