He emailed me last night
Last night, at around 11:30 pm, he emailed me. Yes him. He emailed me to my blog address. I think he wanted to make it official or something. You see, you have to talk crap about people in order for them to appear from the pits of the past. He confessed about some parts of my post, and I don’t want to talk about what happened after that because I don’t feel like crying.
However, all I can say that life is shit. People tell me, oh get over, oh you are a pathetic whiner, blah blah. Maybe I am just like everyone else, have you ever thought of that? But, have you ever felt pain in your chest? Do you feel real physical pain? Do you really know how it is to be heart broken? For some of you who don’t understand, let me explain it. My heart for the past oh 48 hours has been hurting a lot. I feel like someone is squeezing it so bad to the point that I can’t breath. You see, some of us humans have a heart. And we are sensitive, and we mask our selves with such a tough fake exterior to survive life day by day. In my case, this horrible blog.
Welcome to my life. This is my life. This blog is an open diary of FACTS about my daily life and thoughts. I don’t even search for people, they just come flocking to me saying the meanest things, and think I have no feelings. I have feelings dammit, and I cry. I have a really weak heart, and I am very sick right now, emotionally sick.
Loading ...
Humm… so you did that write as to what you’d replied to him? or did u even reply to him?
well if u really want to keep him as a friend or if you don’t want to stay in contact with him then be straight forward and tell it to him.
Its no use being like a pendulum. you won’t land up anywhere if you stay like this.
@Rahul – you have no idea what happened, and you just assuming things now. I didn’t want to discuss what happened. So stop assuming things.
If you don’t want to discuss what happened, stop telling us about it.
It’s no surprise your feeling this way. You just kind of started to get over him and then boom he comes right back in your life to make you remember and relive everything he’s done to you. Hope you feel better soon.
@doug rogers – why are you bothered if I told it or not?
@lela – thanks.
Having gone through a rough 6 months of emotional turmoil, I know how it is to try and get back to any level of normality. Look after yourself, and hope to read you at your cracking best very soon!
I don’t know if you’re a very “huggy” person, but I am, and I’m sending you a big mental hug right now, whether you like it or not. :p Seeing an ex again unexpectedly can be stunning and send a jolt right through your heart.
Doesn’t bother me at all. You’re the one who said you didn’t want to discuss it, but in your last three posts you keep dragging it up.
I am sorry that you’re feeling heart-wrenched right now. I know that feeling you’re describing. But, you realise you’re enabling all of this? By writing in a blog which he obviously would have heard of from those in your city, and when you’re expressing how hurt and battered you are by seeing him unexpectedly at the wedding, and how his email from last night made you feel… he is probably reading all of that right now. He’s also probably gloating (even if to himself) that he is able to make you so weak and numb after all these years… I didn’t write a comment on your ‘wedding attending’ blog, because I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. However, it pains me to know that you’re hurting like this for someone who isn’t worth it in any way or sense. It’s probably easy for me to say ‘let go of your past-luggage’ as I appreciate that it really isn’t as simple as that, BUT, if something is causing you pain, hurt and anguish, then it isn’t worth you clinging on to.
I have a lot more to say, but I know you don’t want to hear it.
(((HUG)))
I know that you need some time to overcome what happened in the last 48 hours. I really hope you get better very soon .
@doug rogers – ahh.. well.. you know.. I am just not in the mood right now to discuss what exactly happened.. but give me a few days to recover. I have to get it out of my system sooner or later..
@Kiwi_Canada – you know.. I am sick of assumptions. Seriously. You obviously have not been keeping up with my blog long enough to realize that I made this blog cause of him. He knows about it because I told him about it since day one! So please you and everyone else, stop making assumptions. If you don’t know the history or didn’t bother to read about on my site, then don’t make up stories! However, I appreciate your thoughts, and yes, I am not happy, and very much in pain right now.
@Natalya – thanks for the wishes.
I do keep up to date about your blog, and I do know the ‘history’. Now you’re making assumptions about me! Why are you so defensive? Why do you bite people just because they want to share and express their thoughts about what YOU say on your blog, isn’t this why you have a comment box here? I know you’re hurting right now, and that’s probably why you attack ppl who comment on your blog, but really Mona, can you truly not tell the difference between those who merely wish you well and want to converse empathetically with you, versus those who want to throw daggers at you? Suffice to say, I personally will not comment anymore. I think that’ll probably make one-less person you have to get peeved at
@Kiwi_Canada – if you have been reading my blog, then why did you think people told him about my blog? Where did you get that story from? That was my point. I am not defensive, and I thanked you in the end. Didn’t you read that part? You can comment as much as you want. I am not stopping you. I read every comment before I approve it, and I approve the ones I like because that’s just me.
It’s such a shame, that he had waited all this time to email you..he knows how your feeling, and he knew that by sending u an email it would hurt you of some sort…
, or Cuba..just relax and take it easy…
Honestly, all i can say is guys like him are jerks, he doesn’t even deserve the light of the day…he would be one lucky bastard if u said hi to him….
I know u will be fine, nothing hurts more in this life than the pain of the heart we’ve all have/are/going down that road once in a life time, it’s something that we all experience once in a life time.
I’m still surprised 6 years of your life were dedicated on him..and he turned out to be a dweeb..
What I honestly recommend is for you to leave London for a couple of days; maybe visit your brother, your friends down in Toronto
He’s an ASS because he doesn’t know what he’s missing!
I just hope that one day Karma will eat at his face!
Oh, what can I say… Please don’t hate the world because of one person. Not all endings are happy ones but you can’t start new story without putting an end to an old one. I hope this is a new start for you. Live and learn Mona. Happy Birthday!
I to change the subject, happy birthday!
Hey Mona, of coz u have every right to feel what you’re feeling. A meeting with someone from the past is never easy but I hope u cheer up soon and happy birthday!
Yes, I have been through the same thing. I thought my life was emotional roller coaster. A few years ago, I met my wife, and things got way better. She helped me through rough patches, and I’m better now. Things can get better. There’s no magic cure, though. You have to get over it in your own time.
May the great glue stick of heartbreak help you heal. No platitudes about how you will be stronger, just wishes for this to be the past, and not the present.