So what really happened?
I guess many of you want to know what happened the night he emailed me. Some of you were really angry and wanted to know! Really, it is not an exciting story, but a plain horrible story for me. You see, I tried to not talk about it the next day, because it hurt. I didn’t want to write in an angry tone, and I didn’t know how to put the words together. However, I told two people the story, and when I got to the end, they said, “what the hell? Does he want to rub it in, or just plain mean?”
He emailed me that night justifying the post I wrote about the wedding story. He confessed some parts, and tried to elaborate or correct other parts. Typical him. Then at the end of the email he said, “I have been trying to add you to MSN. I want to talk to you please. Can you add me?”
I didn’t know why in the world he wanted to talk to me after I trashed him. So I added him to MSN. I wanted to see what he wanted, out of curiosity you know. However, we all know that curiosity killed the cat.
Throughout the conversation I kept asking him what he really wanted. He kept telling me he wanted to be friends with me. He wanted to be friends again and talk and fill the gap of two years. He said that since we knew each other for about 6 years, that he did not understand why I hated him. Hmm. Ok.
I then said, “no.” I kept telling him that I was not going to keep him on msn, and I wanted to know NOW what he wanted. Why did he even bother to email me? He told me since he saw me the night before, many good memories spurred in his head, and it was the first time he went on my blog for a long time.
He then surprised me by saying, “I want to see you. How about Thursday or Friday? We go for Sushi.” I was a bit stunned and said, “No!” Why the hell did I want to see him? Why the hell does a married guy want to see me? I told him that I didn’t want to see him again, and if he accidentally saw me anywhere in this world, to never stare at me or try to talk to me.
After an hour of arguing, I then got horribly frustrated and I told him, “I am going to block you now if you don’t tell me what you REALLY want.” He then said, “fine. I have a list of things to say to you.”
He gave me a list of about 12 or 13 things.
Here are some of them:
1. Don’t talk about me in a bad way to anyone.
2. Don’t pray against me to God (ed3y 3alay).
3. We should be friends and please keep me on MSN so I can talk to you from time to time.
Etc. I cannot remember the rest, but those were the main points.
So I told him, “nice.. I won’t do any of those. So, stop the bull shit and tell me, how do you have the heart to marry someone so quickly after I have known you for 6 years?”
He then said this, and I wish I never read it. He said, “I love my wife more than anything on this earth. More than I love my self. She is part of me, and I love her so much. We didn’t want to get married this way, but this is what happened. I love her to death.”
I read that. My heart stopped, because in the two seconds of me reading that, 1000 memories permeated in my head of the same crap he used to say to me. I just went into shock, and I thought to my self, “My God . . . you are a fucking ass. I hope you live a miserable life. Love? Do you even know what love is? Is your love so great for her, that seeing me for one night made you want to talk to me so badly and remember every good memory, and then say that shit to me?”
I said, “bye.” Then I blocked and deleted him. I didn’t even let him finish what he was writing or cared to read anymore.
I spent the night crying and kept asking my self. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Was I really that horrible? Or this was his way to rub it in and get married to a girl from another country that knows nothing about him, and hoping to have a fresh great start. Who cares about love. He obviously can easily pretened to love anyone. Good memories? That’s what he remembered? Really. Didn’t he remember that when he decided to get married to any girl? My God. You see, guys like him are asses. And I know many girls who had similar or exact stories because the guys are weak and think they can play revenge by doing that. The problem is, they don’t marry out of love. They marry out of spite.
He requested that I didn’t pray against him or say horrible things against him. Well then, I guess I am so doing the opposite and I wish him a horrible miserable unsuccessful life. Amen!
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That’s how they are..Guys like him think that getting married to a stranger will help them become better and would be accepted in society as a human being than as a dog who runs after a bone when he is hungry.
Mona, he was trying to get in contact with you as if he was thinking that he still might have “hope particles” swimming in his blood…you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Guys like him are most likely open to cheating on their spouses..hence he tried getting in contact with you for what reason? Not because of the good memeories you guys shared..but for something deeper.
Also, there is another game that both dogs and men play all the time…”they run after things they cannot have” and u see, it seems that he is still trying to court you in someway..
Lunch? u’ve got to be kidding me..he’s a married man..I should place quotes on the word arab too…ukh..
WHAT A JERK..IF I WAS TO SEE HIM, I WOULD GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND!
Free yourself from him, and try to get over everything you once had. He wants to mess with your head. It’s just so sad he couldn’t give you an answer to why.
@Lela
I don’t think I want to know the reason why anymore. I can speculate many reasons why, but I rather not care and forget.
uggggghhhhhh men!!!
“We should be friends”
Uh, such a bad idea. My unsolicited advice is to get him out of your system, and move on. It’s what I had to do.
@asoom
Yah.. them!
@Meyrick Kirby
That’s me plan!
Hey!
An opinion from the other side of the fence (you know – gals vs guys) is that – not all guys are like that. I’m not defending the guy in the post in anyway, infact – anyone who puts conditions on “friendship” has issues in the first place!
I agree with Jade on the “hope particles” but that coming from a married guy is dangerous…. very very dangerous. He is possibly risking his married life and could give ou more hurt by walking this plank.
From a personal perspective, friendship with an ex is not always damaging as long as you know where the line is drawn. I am friends with one of my ex, and from time to time we have good enough interaction. The other ex (there are only 2 thank god, and I hope no more!), well… I am trying hard to walk away from everything that I had with her because the hurt and the pain, and the recovery from that pain everytime is so just not worth it.
Just one more thing… and this feedback more than anything (on the site design) – I liked the checkbox which emailed any followup comments. If it is not too tricky to add, that would be a wicked re-addition!
Also – is that checkbox some sort of plugin on wordpress.org blogs, or a feature which can be enabled on wordpress.com?
I really hate this type of men, I HATE ALL WHAT THEY REPRESENT ALL THEIR THOUGHTS ALL THEIR IDEAS AND THEIR FAKE EGO yaaaghhhh
The hell with him, I know this type I have many Arab friends girls and boys they share many common things, the guys think they are God on earth, they have the right to fool any girl they have the right to be mean and to cheat, but no one has the right to love their own sisters even if it is true love….
On the other hand most Arab girls are so weak to stand for their rights against other Arab assholes, and that’s why the guys are encouraged to hurt more and more girls, I dare him to hurt the feelings of a Canadian non Arab girl, he can’t he is so cowered to even give it a try, coz he knows she will kick his ass, so why try just go to my typical kind Arab girl,,,,
The funny thing is the Arabic type of relations is it is a win win deal for the guy, he hurts you after six years, and now he got married to another girl who most probably is a good person and thinks she is lucky to get married to that wonderful guy who will take her to Canada, and guess what the jerk is cheap enough to ask you out ( I’m an Arab why not I go out with Mona and have some good time while waiting for my wife’s paper to get ready ) and sure after his wife is here he will be like ( why not I cheat on my wife , she can’t live without me any way, she is a weak Arab no way she will stand for her rights ) I really really feel sorry for her.
Guess what if you Arab girl don’t change the guys will get worse and worse, you know what you should do just make his life terrible, how dare he asks you out, you should make his reputation as shitty as possible in whole London, you should tell your mother and his mother and all the girls who know him, that he asked you out although he is married, I wish from the bottom of my heart that his wife will some how some way passes threw your blog and reads this post, she has the right to know that the person who claims to love her is asking another girl out, so that his bad face is out clear to the whole community , how dare he being married and asks you out, does his wife agrees on you going out with him, ( the wife that he loves more than his own sole ) no , this type don’t know how to love and the only person he loves is himself.
And his mother is cheap enough to come and kiss you while for sure she knows how an ass her son was with you, she doesn’t care.
And by the way he lied when he said that he don’t want you to pray against him, he doesn’t give a shit, do you really believe he is afraid from god …
Don’t even be bothered you are a great person, with many friends and a creative mind, who the hell is that jerk to hurt you and make you feel that bad.
TO ANY PERSON WHO READS THIS POST AND BY ANY COINCIDENT HE KNOWS THE WIFE OF THAT JERK, PLEASE WORK ON MAKING HER READ THIS.
@Cookie Monster
I added it manually.. I don’t know why it was not showing up.
@Natalya
Natalya, the problem (unfortunately) is not restricted only to the Arab community. Being of Indian descent, I know that this happens a lot in our community. But I think it is also true that this will happen in any community. I think god didn’t pick Arab men as the representatives of the jerk community (although there is a different school of thought – but that discussion is for another day!)
Having lived in the Middle East for a long time, I know for a fact that Arab girls are probably more firey than any other. God forbid you get on the wrong side, and things could be like hell on earth! (No offence Mona… or any other Arab girls!
)
In my opinion – I think the way Mona has dealt with the situation reflects sensibility more than anything else.
Thanks for that cookie monster…
Natalya: it’s easily said than done!
plain and simple he’s a jerk..hundreds of Arab guys are the same as him…