I have a strange set of parents. I don’t mind them sometimes. Their eccentric behaviour is great blog content. Really. Anyways, so, I will speak again of this new lifestyle change that I decided to have – the vegetarianism. It is hard for my dad to adjust to – totally. I find it funny sometimes, and utterly irritating sometimes, but today was the funniest of them all!

My mom has to cook meat every single day. My dad can’t live without it at all. “Food has to have MEAT,” he says. In my case, I don’t care. I can just make a cheese sandwich and be fully satisfied. Our fridge has more cheese than vegetables. I know, it is not right, but my sister and I are mice in another life time. So, sometimes my mom cooks chicken, sometimes lamb, sometimes beef, but I don’t care. She can do whatever. She usually makes me vegetable soup or throws the bag of frozen vegetables and heats it up. That’s my daily lunch! Agh! However, whenever there are some left over pieces of chicken or whatever meat product, my dad YELLS all the way from downstairs and says, “MONA! You want the last piece of chicken!” Obviously, I get SO mad, and yell back, “NO! NO! NO! I do NOT eat meat!” I have been saying that daily for the past week.

However, today, my mom didn’t cook any meat, and made spinach pastries and lentil soup. I was like yah, kick ass meal! When I was eating, my dad kept staring at me and looking like a big baby with the rolled back lips and sad face, and he told me, “I could have gone and gotten chicken shawarma, but you don’t eat meat.” When I heard that, two things instantly started buzzing in my head. 1) He KNOWS I don’t eat meat anymore, and just keeps asking me over and over to see if I will give in and eat it again. 2) He can’t live a day without meat. So I said to him, “I will eat falafel. Falafel is not meat. Come to think of it, I feel like humous too!” He said, “oooh.. we have lots of homous cans. Oooooh.. let me check!” I thought, “dear God, he forgot about the shawarma and now thinking of homous!”

My mom makes fun of me too. Every time I eat, her and my dad start making animal noises, and say, “we are wolves! We only eat MEAT! Hum hum..” Yes, these are my parents ladies and gentleman. I live in a zoo. If you wonder why I am a bit crazy, then I can genetically prove it!

Funny, They said what?, Whatever!

Top quotes from visitors:

“Why are you so angry?” (Read the title of this stupid blog.)

“Why do you use the word hate so much?” (Because I am not gay and say “I love” every two seconds.)

“You express your self well, you must be an introvert.” (Ya, I took the test. My personality is: ISFJ. You are right on!)

“We are ashamed of YOU being an Arab.” (Likewise.)

“YOU should be ashamed of being a Palestinian.” (Sticks and stones may break my bones, but my stones are heavier and deadlier.)

“You lack religion.” (I keep reaffirming to the masses that I am sacrilegious.)

“You don’t know the first thing about being an Arab.” (I want to be reborn as a non-Arab, so I can agree with you.)

“Arabs have changed in the Arab world. It is not what you think.” (Yeah right!)

Say these quotes 50 times each, because that is the number of times that I have received them in the span of almost 3 years. I love you guys too.

Blah Blah, They said what?

No I am not. However, people think I am. My blog visitors have reached a new level of personal attachment to my blog, in other words, ME. I am not their relationship adviser through the virtual world anymore; I am their personal adviser through the phone. Yes, I am now talking to some visitors on the phone because they are obsessed with me giving unsolicited advice on relationships. They even want to meet me in person! I feel sorry for you for having that thought! Anyways, they want me to listen to them, and to tell them the one thing they want to hear: “You are young, haven’t really suffered yet, and break up with him!”

My Virtual Advice

If you are having a relationship problem, and don’t know how to break up with guys the way I professionally do it using my wickedly awesome blog, then these songs are sure winners for various situations: cheating, being an ass, being a bitch, being a psychopath, etc. These songs might work.

Alanis’s Morissette song “You Oughta Know” is my all time favorite. I remember back in the mid 90’s, when I was too young to know any better, this song was seriously my second language. This song is not only awesome, but wickedly awesome!

Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River” is my favorite blog song. I love using it to virtually break up with guys. Plus I love to repeatedly hear this song over and over, and Justin is hot. He is not Bruce Willis hot, but he is hot!

Aaliyah’s song “The One I Gave my Heart To” is a sentimental song. It is great if you want to nicely tell someone that they broke your heart and you feel like shit. A top winner! The lyrics in this song amazingly describe my almost 6 years of hell of knowing a total ass.

So, I can see the future now. More and more people unmarried, living a kick ass lifestyle full of rants and hilarious sarcasms, and less annoying children and teenagers roaming the streets. Amen!

Blah Blah, My taste of Music, They said what?

Bald guys with weird shaped heads. Yes. Them. I see them every single day!

Guys complain about girls a lot. They are too fat, have ugly hair, have big nose, have small eyes, have hairy arms, whatever. And here I am doing the same to you guys. Seriously, it is ok to go bald, because there is no shame in male baldness. It is heredity, but there is a solution, like a toupee or a wig! I find baldness hot and sexy on Bruce Willis, but he is Bruce Willis, and you are not.

So, why do some guys shave their heads and think it is hot? There are rules to when to shave your head. You have to test it first and make sure that your head shape is suitable for it. If it is not, wear a hat for the next two weeks whenever you are visible to the outside world. Seriously, it is so fugly on some guys. Also, if you are NOT in the process of pre-mature baldness, then DON’T shave your head. Arghhh.. :mrgreen:

This baldness story reminded me of my horrible Discrete Mathematics professor I had a few years ago. Wait, he was NOT a professor, but a PhD candidate. I refused to call him prof. He didn’t deserve the title because he was horribly annoying, and was bald and looked like something that came out of WWII. His baldness seriously annoyed me. The days when he forgot to shave his head and little hairs were showing up, like an army buzz cut, was when I thought, “dude, he looks HUMAN!” Too bad he was old and not married. (Which will eventually be my life too.) Anyways, that guy was annoying. He was so annoying, that I forgot his name! I never told this story, but he was the only university instructor that I told off.

Why the Utter Discontent

1. I despised Discrete Mathematics II. (Second half of the useless craziness.)
2. I hated pure mathematics. I am an applied math kind of gal.
3. I didn’t care about surjective and bijective functions. Graph theory was cool, cause we computer nerds use it, but everything else, NO!
4. I hated him for teaching that class.
5. I hated when he kept complaining about modern urban words like “ain’t.” He repeatedly kept telling us that he hated that word and everyone that said it. (Which meant us!)
6. I hated it when he kept saying that he had a photographic memory.
7. I hated it when he kept showing off that he can speak another language, and teaching us some words. I wonder what he thought of us immigrants then that knew English, good English, not so good English, and the mother tongue!
8. I hated his bald head. Gave me nightmares every time I went to class.
9. I hated his weekly home work assignments that had nothing to do with the course’s contents. But that’s when the story got interestinating…

According to 9 above, he gave us home work on a weekly basis. He placed the assignments online, and we had to hand it in every Monday. One Monday, I was really sick, so I decided to just email it to him before class earlier in the day. Yes, I typed Mathematical solution <-- total nerd. Anyways, so he emailed me back within 30 minutes, and told me that the proof was wrong, and I should redo it before class or I will get a zero. This was only half way through the course. 6 weeks left!

You know me people. When I am sick, I get pissed! So I emailed back saying, "LISTEN! I DO NO KNOW HOW TO DO THIS! I AM SICK! I AM NOT GOING TO REDO IT OR THINK ABOUT IT, AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS CLASS! I JUST NEED TO PASS!"

I didn't get a reply. (No wonder!) I refused to go to class after that, and did not do the rest of the assignments. I always wondered how people were acing the course. Total nerds I tell ya! Anyways, so, no home works, mediocre grades on the midterms, barely passing, and the assignments were 10 or 20% of the course. I do not remember. So pretty much assignments were out of the question.

There were only 3 girls in the class. (Welcome to Comp Sci!) So it was easy to point us out. And I sat in the front, and boom I vanished! lol How did I pass the course and do super duper on it? I studied the book and memorized past finals. Showed up to the final (50% of the grade), refused to look at him, sat all the way in the back, and finished a 3 hour exam in 45 minutes. Aced it! It was either I memorize useless crap, or repeat the course 12 months later and see his baldness again!

God, I rant too much. I have many horrible professor stories, but that was the best one! Bald guys, if you are not hot like my man Bruce, then don't shave it!

If you have not noticed, this post was a total excuse to put up Bruce Willis pictures! I am a member of his Facebook club. Now aren’t I silly?

Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

Happy Eid everyone!

Look at me, I am festive! Although I am totally sacrilegious and should be condemned to hell, but I don’t care. God didn’t say I had to go to Eid prayer and dress up to find a husband. That’s when I said, “screw all of you Arabs! I hate this city!”

Let me explain a few things. There are two Eids or religious celebrations in Islam. Each Eid, the Muslim community holds morning Eid prayers for the masses in a huge hall. That’s fine, I used to go. I saw how it is.

I like my dad’s philosophy on things. My dad is very religious, but takes life easy. That means he is not extremist. He doesn’t say we have to do this or that, or wear this or that. So, he just goes to Eid prayer to pray, and comes back home. However, if my MOTHER goes, which she does 90% of time, then it is not the case at all.

This morning, my MOTHER and SISTER were getting dressed up to go. I looked at them and wondered why they were over dressing, and putting makeup and looking all so pretty. Obviously, I wasn’t going because I don’t care and I am condemned to hell anyways. This is how the conversation went with my MOTHER!

Condemned to hell me: “Why you getting dressed up so badly and putting makeup and looking extra nice. It is Eid prayer, not an Eid party. You acting like those young Arab girls who put heavy extra makeup looking like they are going to a party.”

MOTHER!: “What’s wrong with getting dressed up and putting makeup. It is the only time in the year where people see each other and meet new people, so they wear all this makeup and look nice. How else are these girls going to find husbands?”

That’s when my chin dropped and I wanted to move out of the house, and go live in Nunavut.

Condemned to hell me: “Excuse me?”

MOTHER!: “Seriously, how do girls find husbands now a days?”

That’s when I left the room, and decided that speaking with an ARAB MOTHER who has been brain contaminated by the Arab population of this God forsaken city that I live in is pointless.

I left the house now, and I don’t care! Maybe I will hitchhike to Nunavut. It will take 3 or 4 days to go all the way up north. I heard polar bears are hibernating now and I need some warm fuzzy sleepy friends.

Angry, They said what?, Whatever!