When I rather choke my self to a coma
What’s more annoying than middle aged women with too much time on their hands? Yep, you guessed it! Middle aged ARAB women who stare at you menacingly and think you are a poor hopeless old soul.
What do I want to do with them? Oh, many things that involve matches and a fire starter.
My mother is a bad social butterfly. She likes to talk to people. Anyone for that matter. She also has enemies that she avoids. She got them all! However, for those people that she likes and actually calls “friends,” they are the ones that I want to run away from. Run far far away from to another galaxy where Arab mentality does not exist and never will!
This is the constant things that Arab women talk about:
1. “My beautiful daughters are married, happy and going to have their second or third child.”
Second or third child and they are my age or younger? Is that legal now a days? Or is reproducing like rabbits at an early age is the Arabic thing to do?
2. “My beautiful daughter is marrying a rich man and he will provide her with a house and everything before they get married. Everything is set!”
What lottery ticket did he win? I keep trying my luck, but since I am Mona, that will never happen.
3. “My son is marrying an educated Masters or PhD graduate young girl.”
You can’t put Masters or PhD with young in one sentence. Does not work that way. And since they are Arabs, the odds of her actually using her education while she is married for the first 10 – 15 years is slim to none. Remember, she has to reproduce like a rabbit before it is too late!
4. “My son got a job in a huge company in the Middle East and making so much money. I told him to only work for a year or two, then I will find him the most perfect bride.”
Really? You will find him a gold digger? Wow, they are hard to come by, sorry, I meant, there are 8 in 10 Arab girls that are always qualified!
5. “My beautiful intellectual daughters and genius for sons all got scholarships to University. They all go to school for free!”
Really, how come I saw them in the OSAP (student loan) line when I was picking up mine back in the golden days? Is it me, or people think OSAP is a scholarship? How come the bank is making me pay it back then? Am I the only one? I am getting ripped OFF!
6. “My daughters never wear anything revealing or talk to guys. They know better.”
How come I always saw a slut fest of Arab girls in the most revealing and provocative clothes walking in the mall or at the University? Is it me, or covering your boobs and crotch is enough to say you are covered? And remember, they cannot talk to guys. They just tongue wrestle with them in public.
7. “My sons never drink or go out clubbing. They are always late because they are studying at their friend’s house.”
Really. Is that the daily 4 am excuse?
8. “I will only find a girl for my son that is pure and innocent. Not like those other Arab girls that are always out, working half the day, and wasting their money shopping.”
So, what are they supposed to do? Sit at home or go from one house to the other talking shit about people?
Shoot me. Shoot me! I am tired of sitting in my office half the day because these women keep coming over!
Blah Blah, Culture, Idiots, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!
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Oh Mona….I had to crack a smile because I love your wit.
And it’s sad these women have blinders when it comes to their kids. You are spot on.
Problem is, you are not about sham, appearances and everything that shines without being gold… and that’s just what all those women (or men) seem to be about – maybe they use it as a veil to cover the emptiness of their lives.
And believe me this is not restricted to Arabs.
And not even to “traditional” circles.
“Modern” circles may have another grammar for that kind of thing – but the meaning (or meaninglessness) is just the same.
It’s hard to be free, upfront, straightforward and authentic in this world. But don’t give up the fight. It’s worthwile. That’s why we, your readers, like you so much
My heart goes out to you, Mona. I too am a perpetual victim of gossiping Arab ladies who backbite as if life relies on it. At least you’ve learned to get away. In my experience if you don’t get out as soon as (politely) possible the ladies usually turn on you. It happens to me in three phases: 1 – They run out of other Arabs in their limited social circle to verbally rip to pieces, 2 – They then offer unsolicited naseeha to me in a concerned and motherly manner (about having a baby, making maglooba, my lack of affinity for gold, etc.) and finally 3 – They begin to yell at me for all of those things that do not make me a “good” girl (I’m 25).
I kid you not I was in a CROWDED restaurant once with my mother in law, two aunts, my sister in law, two brothers in law, niece and my husband, when the ladies began to yell at me for not being pregnant (I had been married 1 month). The conversation ended with my mother in law telling us that she sought the advice of her friend on the matter who declared I should be divorced if I did not want a baby soon.
@Mrs.S
Were you supposed to know within 24 hours of the wedding night that you got pregnant? Jeez.
I heard one family once talking that the woman decides if she wants a boy or girl. It’s ALL her fault for her decision.. ?????
@jackieh
Thanks! 
*kiss kiss*
I hate when they seat them in areas where i cant get outside the door without having to say hi and get their sick spit all on my face from their kisses. I would rather stay upstairs all day if i have to and avoid it. It causes my face to break out lol.
@Lela
Well then… now we got something in common! I don’t have a problem with the seating arrangements ever, but the kisses annoy the heck out of me!
LOL (yes, I am still here
)
I will agree with @jackieh, this doesnt happen only in Arab families or communities. Saying that – this post was damn funny!
This happens a lot in Indian families and culture as well. A lot of times you will notice this sort of behaviour in ignorant and materialistic people (I guess it’s a touch obvious!).
One thing which is hard to do, is to ignore these people. You need just one to start and the whole army jumps on with them. For me, all this started 1 week after I graduated from uni; I was best man at a cousins wedding, and the whole damn extended family got on my case. 4.5 years down the line, it’s still happening… but I switch off well.. but it’s not easy at all!
@Cookie Monster
So when you getting married? Or are you infected by the disease of not wanting to marry called Rebellious Arab Girl!
Hahaha I have escaped this trap because I’m a 22 year old Indian girl who’s engaged…to a white guy!
I’ve had all the same get-a-degree marry-rich look-after-yourself-better-or-you’ll-never-get-a-man but now it doesn’t apply as I have a man, degree and job. Plus it makes them all uncomfortable to talk about it cos OMG he’s white! So I’m not putting some other Indian recent grauate under unecessary pressure and all I get is hi-how’s-the-weather-bye! Highly recommended 
Haha such a nice post.
I don’t think it’s JUST related to the arab culture though, I think all mothers in general like to believe their children are innocent.
I was in Dubai 2 years ago, and from what I saw young people are not as innocent as they are supposed to be;)
Guys drink and girls do other things;)
So, does that make me old now? I got my masters of fine arts when I was 25 (now 27) :-{ I don’t wanna feel old yet, wanted to wait until I was 30. j/k.
I have heard and seen this kind of talk by people – my parents one of them, they are in denial.
ur so right… I agree with everything. especially about arab girls who think that covering their boobs is enough. at my school there are ’special arab’ girls,LOL.. they leave the house with a long coat, long skirt.. and when they arrive at school, the coat goes off and the long skirt makes place for a short one… yep, thats their way.. i hate those people…
and u know, they dont talk to guys.. they do other things with them, no talking involved… and then playing a sweet little innocent girl at home…
See, everyone has experienced something similar to what I wrote.. boy or girl, Arab or non-Arab. Life is purely the same everywhere!
I think that kind of thing happens when social pressure is (at least perceived as) so dictatorial and oppressive that no one dares to defy it at the expense of… something hey consider essential to their lives (even if it is only social integration in their native group, but sometimes it reaches far beyond that) but there is that urge for individual freedom of choice and the desire and need to live their own lives according to their own standards… so they become kind of neurotic, double-bound, and in order to escape this they try to satisfy both by pandering to everyone and everything, avoiding conflict while playing double-faced (and playing extreme in their hidden life, which is their only space “allowed” for rebellion – and they are more “blindly rebelling” – doing just the opposite of what they’re being told to do in their “open” life just in order to prove themselves that they don’t care and that they are smarter than that – than really trying to get something of what they really want out of it, or even trying to find themselves in the first place)… instead of starting by “putting their own house in order” in the first place, trying to recognise what they *really* want and what is *really* important for them, and asserting themselves in the open at the expense of conflict (or of worse in some cases we will have to admit!).
Problem is, it is themselves and their own personalities that get destroyed in the process by all the confusion involved – trying so hard to please everyone and to be accepted everywhere (while doing blindly underground everything forbidden by the others) that at the end of the day they no longer know themselves who they are and what they want for themselves.
Social pressure is a damn destructive thing. Opposing it is tiring at best and can cost a lot at worst, and by surviving underground one loses one’s own soul…
There should be a book on how to rebel intelligently enough to *really* survive and come out in the open
I’ve been asked if I’ve got a boyfriend by family wondering why I am still single and unattached. Even friends have tried to hook me up with guys but of course I am not going on some blind date with some guy they think is cute. I don’t know why but I am not interested in dating and most guys I have no interest in what so ever. I guess I am not needy or maybe it’s because I live in a town full of butt ugly guys. Who knows!
oh mona, that was really good… and so true, especially the one about the degrees.
@Mona
I’ll send you a digital invite and broadcast the wedding online… don’t worry…. just make sure you don’t miss the invitation post on my blog
I’ve enjoyed the comments on this post!