My blood is boiling. It’s really boiling and my anger is up the roof! This is a warning!

An old hag has been emailing me and wants to lecture me to be a better non-gold-digger, and be a non-typical-Arab-girl who wants money, money, more money, and to start liking the life in North America.

This is what she said in her second message to me. The first one I told her off, but she was so persistent. I had to block her, and then publicly tell her off. It’s what I do best.

To me you sound like you are a gold digger waiting for prince arab
to come and beg you to marry him, and make you happy.
Well guess what no one makes anyone happy but you. so grow up again you just make me angry at the way you think, either you love it or leave it means either you live in London canada and take whatever you can get or leave and live in Palestine whereever you came from I hate it when arabs keep dwelling on how they are not happy in North Americ blabalababblaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They come here kiss assis and after they become rich they started complaining.
I am a proud Palestinian living in N.America for 20yrs educated work and be have the courage and email me back and I will work on you I would like to know you better

Let me elaborate.

1) I hate Arab countries, they treat Palestinians like crap! So I will NEVER live there!
2) Old people should not go on the net and use it to find friends. That’s called finding a date. Not friends.
3) If you are Palestinian, why were you insulting another Palestinian? You want me to go back to Palestine? Give me a first class ticket! Send me there. I will be more than happy to LIVE IN MY HOME COUNTRY! MY TRUE LAND! Unlike you! No wonder we lost Palestine. It’s you old peoples’ mentality and stupidity that made us go from country to country to find a home.
4) I am angry because people like you are still around and enforcing stupid ideologies on my educated generation who thinks beyond their nose!
5) The world changed, and obviously you will never!

Anyone else want to lecture me? I have a sharp tongue and I don’t take shit from anyone! That’s how I was raised. That’s how us second generation refugee Palestinians were raised!

Fucking ridiculous! I am tired of taking all this shit from idiots. Don’t mess with me. DON’T MESS WITH ME! THAT GOES FOR ANYONE OF YOU!

Angry, They said what?

I have been getting many comments lately from visitors about my site. People like it, don’t like it, want it a bit different, etc.

What do you think? Do you have something to say about my site? What needs to be improved or changed written wise and website aesthetic wise? I would like to know. I like opinions.

So, open forum. Tell me what you think about my masterpiece of a site.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post

I have been quiet about the bloodshed in Gaza the past, because the more I talked about it, the more I felt my heart was being squeezed to death. I couldn’t watch anymore dead children. It’s not right.

This week there was a plane crash in the Hudson Bay in NY of a huge civilian air plane. Everyone survived. However, this was the first thing that people asked, “was it a terrorist attack? Are the children ok?”

Why can’t the Western media have a heart to those kids in Gaza? What did a 4 year old do to deserve this?

Poll

I started a poll over a week or so ago about who started the war in Gaza. And so far, many people are truthful in knowing who the guilty party is.

The poll is still open:

More videos

I got this video from a Jewish man that lives in the US, and he is spreading his view points on Twitter of his discontent with what Israel is doing.

I saw the video and it was exactly how I felt, and how every Palestinian felt. The world does not understand and they refuse to understand. 1300 people died in Gaza, and over 5000 injured. Yet, the world is saying that Hamas needs to stop firing rockets and killing Israelis? So it is wrong for Palestinians to attack back? It is wrong for them to defend themselves? It seems to be. Because 13 Israelis died and only 2 or 3 were civilians that were killed from a bunch of stupid rockets. The world is going crazy cause of that! Yet, Israel is using white phosphoric weapons. Is that ok? Where is the justice? What is right and what is wrong? Really? Who is right and who is wrong?

I still believe that this world is run by a carnival of idiots, and we just sit and watch.

A Liberal Viewpoint

I found these videos on YouTube from a group called, The Young Turks. I thought they were reasonable. They were justified and well thought of. When you see and research both sides of the story, then your non-biased viewpoint is a bit more believable.

In Gaza Conflict – Which Side Is Using Human Shields?

Israel Strikes a UN Facility – Is it Intentional?

Now Israel said that it has called a cease fire. Let’s see how long that will last.

Angry, Confused, Palestine, They said what?, Video, Whatever!

The post from two days ago has spurred a lot of debate. I have avoided answering comments regarding the issue and decided to read what every person said twice. I gave every one of you twice the chance and two days! I have closed off the comments there because I noticed people were fighting with one another, and I did not want to get in the middle of it.

I think there was a bit of confusion on the entire subject matter. I got many very angry emails, concerned emails, psychological analysis emails, facebook messages, comments, etc, in the past two days. People’s real perception and understanding of why I said what I said was completely skewed and went off to another tangent. I was talking about a certain group of people from the past. That was all. I wasn’t talking about the present. I was not talking about people from this day and age that I know. I was not talking about people that I am even friends with.

Most of you have been reading each other’s comments on the previous post, so I won’t reiterate those. I will comment on a few key points that people kept mentioning and started fighting over.

Typical Arab Girl

Define the typical Arab girl to me? Please. I would like to know who she is. Introduce me to her and let me analyze her life style, and then I will tell you if she is even close to being an Arab. Last week, I went to the hair stylist, and the guy that did my hair was Palestinian/Lebanese. He said this to me, and it was probably the most astounding truthful thing an Arab ever said to me. If the guy was not married I would be all over him. (He was cute!) So, he said this, “Arabs here don’t even know the meaning of being an Arab. They pretend to be Arab and they think that speaking a language is enough to define them as being ones. Being an Arab is more. It is a lot more. It’s that fiery essence that non-Arabs don’t understand. It’s the will power and drive to love the true culture and morally great traditions. It doesn’t matter if you are Christian or Muslim. The true Arab is hard to find now a days.”

So tell me, where is that typical Arab girl? Or better yet, where is that typical Arab guy? Is it you? I will tell you this. Maybe I am was that typical Arab girl that people now a days define. However, now, I AM the REAL Arab girl. I am the fiery essence that is trying to find those real Arabs. Arab women and men fought in wars. They spoke to each other face to face. They are treated equally. God said that he will judge each person the same. Man or woman! When YOU people tell me to act like the typical Arab girl, then you pretty much defined the modern term of the phrase. Which is not me. I apologize that I WILL NOT BOW DOWN to anyone except God! I will NOT degrade my self to the new modern definitions and misunderstood traditions that some of you think is one of the primary answers to marriage.

The typical Arab girl in this day does not have an opinion. She is a slave to her husband. The words that comes out of her mouth are carefully weighed to satisfy her audience. She doesn’t step out of the box of the new made up traditions and be her own self. Why you think the rest of the world thinks that Arabs are backwards and women are treated badly? It’s because women themselves don’t want to think outside of that box anymore, and try to be something more than what society expects them to be. Like I mentioned a few weeks back about the coffee serving tradition. That’s how low Arabs have become. They judge a girl by her servitude to others. That’s exactly what they are doing by applying such a tradition to Arab girls as a judgment for marriage.

Compromise

Of course we all compromise. Why were you people trying to explain to me something that I already knew? We all compromise. We argue, we give our opinions, we come to a conclusion to satisfy each party. That’s the way the world SHOULD work. However, no one should degrade themselves or agree in order to satisfy the other, but they are not even close to satisfying themselves.

Emails

I got a few interesting emails. I decided to share some points within the context of the email that I want to elaborate on.

Person 1 said:

Computer programmer? Why weren’t you a psychiatrist? I completely agree with the bad things happening to good people. Devout Muslims are being labeled terrorists. Pretty girls that mess around marry rich husbands and hide their secrets in the closet. Guys with money mess around and marry innocent girls that are raised to be wed off. Some guys are dogs, some girls are bitches. “That’s just the way it is”. Dont think about stuff too much or you will lose your grip on reality. Canada must be crap eh…

This person did not leave a valid email. Why? No clue. That’s their choice to be honest. This email pretty much sums up how life is now a days. Maybe it has been like this for a long time. Who knows. However, if I think too much, I won’t loose grip on reality. It actually makes me cringe from disgust on how reality really is. It opens my eyes to the truth. Reality is horrible and sometimes I wish I can shut it off because it is painful.

Person 2 said:

… I think the difficulty you are having is the same difficulty that I am having right now. Although you deny it and you may not want to admit it, I think you may still have feelings for that guy and that’s why it’s harder for you to move on. Well, maybe its not him you need to let go, but the way you felt when you were with him.

The person that wrote this email was briefly a friend of mine, and he has been realizing over time that finding a real Arab girl who actually tells people her real feelings is not easy to find. However, I didn’t get a chance to answer that part of his email. I was pretty sure that he wasn’t the only one that thought that was the reason I say some of the things that I say. Hmm. No. You see, the past is a great lesson to all us. It makes us grow and make better decisions for the future. Why would I have feelings towards a typical two faced living a double life selfish bastard? You tell me if that is logical?

We need to be honest here and explain a few things. I was a typical Arab girl with him. I was the most typical every day Arab girl that you would ever meet. Was it good enough? No. I tried and I tried. Then one day I quit trying. I saw how bad it was to act a certain way to satisfy someone else. I saw how it felt to be degraded to make someone else happy.

One day I exploded. One day I said to my self that I had enough. This is not a life. This is NOT what I want from this life. This is exactly the opposite of what I was meant to be in this life. I want to be someone who is respected. Someone who works hard to achieve higher goals in life. I want to be recognized for my talents, and my life’s achievements. I didn’t want to be judged by my salary. I didn’t want to be judged by the people that I talked to, if they were an Arab or non-Arab, or a girl or guy, and if the conversation that I had with them was proper to his standards. I didn’t want to be judged by every action and every word that came out of my mouth.

I was in rage. I was mad. I was not going to sit quiet anymore and accept this typical Arab life style. It was not me. It was not meant to be me.

Therefore, I raged. I rebelled. I made this website because I could not stand it anymore. I knew I was not the problem. I knew I was not the only one. Guy or girl. Arab or non-Arab. Why the hell do we conform with traditions or rules that satisfy everyone else but us? Is it right? Is this life?

I am not a doormat. I will never be.

Negative Thoughts

Some have pointed out that I am very negative and should be a bit more optimistic. Sure. Optimism is good. However, I have to disagree. I think pessimism is better because it DRIVES US to do greater things. If we are optimistic all the time, then we would only sit and wait for good things to happen. That’s not me. What drives me every day is the NEGATIVES that I want to change to POSITIVES in any way I can. I will complain. I will try to fix. I will try to challenge others. I will speak out. I will not sit down and take it anymore. Positive my ass. Sure.. think positive. Forget the negatives, but when they come to you, hope to God you are ready. I doubt you have any idea then how to solve them.

If every person thought positively then we will still be living in caves. We would be hoping that a space ship created by some aliens crash lands infront of us with all the answers that we thought positively that one day will happen. Stop living a dream! Challenge your self. Think of the worse case scenarios so you will end up thinking of better ways to fix them and make them better. That’s why God gave us brains to think. God didn’t say to sit and wait. He said work hard and he will help us achieve our dreams if we were meant to achieve them.

This is life. Accept it! Also, STOP denying the facts of life and reality, and wake up from your dreams. I woke up the hard way. I was hit by a stone and told to wake up.

Wake up! Wake up!

Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

I don’t mean those good people in a political sense, or religious sense. I mean it in an every day life sense. Us human beings. Why the good people who have never done anything wrong in life are sometimes unlucky?

When I was in my early 20′s, most of the girls that I knew were obviously in my age group. Most of them are married now. They actually got married long time ago. Thinking about it now, they have been married for over 6 years now, some more. I just keep looking back and thinking, why them? They weren’t that good. They did many bad things that if a typical Arab guy knew about it, he would never even think of this girl. But how are these girls first to get married to nice good guys?

Do these girls lie about their life? Do they pretend to be perfect (religious wise, culture wise, etc)? Maybe. I think that is the only way. Half of them got engaged 2 or 3 weeks after meeting a guy. Which I don’t understand. Do they even know each other? Is the overall appearance and what she perfectly says to other people is what a girl is judged by? Is that all?

It seems to be that way. I keep seeing many girls get married that way. They live their life and do whatever, and they are usually the girls that I label as horribly bad and done so many sinful things, and no respectable guy should even look at her. Yet, they are the first to get married. And the good girls, who do nothing, barely anyone looks at them.

It makes me wonder why life is like that. Why some girls who are good, never did anything bad in their life, don’t go anywhere or even stay out of the house at night, are the unlucky ones?

Maybe I am just talking here about how unlucky I am. I have been seeing all those girls that had so many relationships, or do things behind their parent’s back, or God knows what else they do, are the ones that can find a guy who easily wants to marry them just like that.

Yet, my luck, guys don’t like me cause of what I say on a blog, or because I have an overly conservative lifestyle and don’t get involved with many people or care about them, or that I say my opinion and don’t act like a total air head that agrees with any guy to get noticed and wants to get married.

Life is seriously unfair. I guess I am tired and lonely again. It sucks to be me. I feel that no one will ever like me for who I am. I don’t think any Arab guy will. Oh well, I guess I have to keep the faith that one day, some guy, will actually accept me for the real me. I don’t think I know how to be fake and lie like those girls. I don’t think I know how or want to. That’s not a life to live. Not at all.

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Random Thoughts, Religion