Hint of great expectations
I have a strange set of parents. One day my dad tells me to not worry about getting work, and to relax and don’t bother. Other days he would tell me to start a company from home. Like it is easy to just out of the blue start a company from your house. He just wants me to sit at home so he doesn’t worry about me being out of the house half the day. Other days he would be like listen to your brother and look for work where he lives. Or try to find work in the Gulf, like UAE or somewhere else.
Then, there is my mother. My mother is a typical Arab mom. She would nag me and say, “go look for work. You want other women to say that you just sit at home and do nothing. It’s enough you worked with Arabs in your old job and their moms won’t shut up and I have to keep denying it. Others keep hinting that the economy is bad and everyone is loosing their job and sitting at home doing nothing. It’s like they want to say something and want to show off that their daughters or sons still have jobs in these tough times. Mona, when will you get a job? Get any job.”
This is the constant nagging in my house. My parents are completely different from one another. When I tried to look for any job just so I can sway away a little bit from IT and touch base in other industries, then my parents say, “no no. Don’t. Stick to your field of work.” Once I go to interviews for something related to my field of work, after an interview, they say, “Don’t worry. You can find another job. Just keep looking.” Like they have no faith in me. I would have an interview and they don’t ask me how I did. They just say, look for something else, or don’t worry about getting a job. I am like what the fuck is wrong with you people?
My parents, as we say in Arabic, 3ala 3eeny wa rasy, but seriously they are the reason I am loosing my patience. They are the reason I am going crazy. One says something, the other says something else. In the end, what the hell do they want from me?
And my parents are not normal Arab parents. They are Arabized in certain cultural issues, but when it comes to the over all picture, they don’t act like one. Like I seldom get nagged about getting married. I hardly hear that from my parents. It is either they gave up on me because of my age and culture we were cursed in, or they are hoping I find a job in La La land where the major company population is Arab and find someone there. That’s their way of thinking which pisses the hell out of me.
At times mom tells me about all these young girls getting married and she wonders where they meet guys. I am like, ah, family friends? Internet? Their family actually go out of the house and meet other families in their age group that have sons?
I honestly don’t understand my parents. Or maybe I will never understand because I grew up in the environment different than theirs. However, at times, my mom tells me that Arabs here act like they are still living in a village back home, and that’s why their traditions are still the same here. That’s why they all know each other. However, my family is Palestinian. We traveled from country to country, and we don’t really know anyone. We don’t have family here, and I have never met half my family. They don’t even know me and some don’t even know how I look at all.
Like honest to God, I am stuck between two worlds. My parents are stuck between two worlds different than mine. I live in a crazy nut house. Each one has different expectations from me, and they are pissing me off to the point that I want to lock my self up again, don’t talk to anyone, hate my life, and pray to God that it is the last day on earth for me.
I had enough!
I don’t want work. I don’t want anything. I just want to be left alone till I figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
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I really liked this “rant” cause it is heartfelt. I also know what its like to be between cultures, albeit maybe to a lesser degree. However, there is also truth in the saying, “only salads have roots”.
They don’t nag you about marriage? wow I even get nagged from my American mother telling me I can’t stay single forever, lol. If your parents dont know anyone for you, why don’t your family back overseas help you find a husband?
@Lela
Because I refuse to be an importer of foreigners! They can come here them selves the way we did!
I liked this post, too. I used to get conflicting advice from my parents as well. The worst advice is when they begin to speak about fields that they have no knowledge of. They think that just because they are older they know more about these things than I do.
I agree that marrying someone from a different country is a risk. I have heard horror stories. I have never heard of a woman bringing a man to NA, though, always the other way around.
I hear this same story from so many Arab girls in the US. Unfortunately the situation arabs face in this country is like of what you said. My only issue with it all, is arab girls always blame their parents. And I have heard it all, girls complaining their parents married them off too young to girls complaining their parents didn’t marry them off when they were younger.
The real issue here is marriage, your mother wants you to get a job to keep you busy so you don’t completely lose your mind, until you get married or so you don’t scare off any potentials being crazy. If you get married, I guarantee she won’t ask you to get a job, other than to be a mother.
good luck and salam
I left home at 17 because I couldn’t stand being under their rules. I know it’s hard….people say ins’allah…but at the same time I also believe in God helps those who help themselves. I hope you find what you are looking for. I reall do.
Sounds like your parents don’t know which way to turn. Being a parent is a job learned as we go. I’m sure they mean well, and want the best for their children.
This is where the rebellious spirit will help you. Do whatever the hell you want. Your parents don’t know what to tell you because they just want the end resutl of you being happy, once you’re there they won’t care about the route.
Sounds horrible…. I all can suggest is tell your parents not to worry you will eventually find another job. I know you will. I have a gut feeling about this and my gut feeling is almost never wrong with the exception of trying to win the lottery.
@Sapphire
You think so? Well, as we Arabs say, “From your mouth to be heard in the heavens.”
Interesting saying
Your parents just want you to”GET YOUR ASS INTO GEAR”
Stop being such a whyno! or would you like some cheese with that wine!
hi, nice blog
Your Blog is More interesting.great work.
…if possible at ur free time visit mine..and give ur suggestion to improve..
i am very happy to add you in my blogroll as friends if u like..!!
Award yourself honourary Scottish citizenship, then go out and get drunk.
It works every time.
I dont want work. I dont want anything. I just want to be left alone till I figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
Understand that perfectly.
get the hell out of dodge. at least for a while. might do you some good.
@JESSIE
No thanks. I don’t consume any alcoholic beverages. And I suggest you keep that old moldy cheese in your fridge. It belongs there.
@iTechWorld
Your site is too blue. The background made me blind. Change the background colour and your set.
@Caledonian Jim
Why not Irish? I feel like going to Dublin. More IT jobs there.
@Maju
great! someone does.
@Ahmed Masri
I don’t understand what the heck dodge is.. r u talking to me? are you on the right blog?
Wella… everywhere in the world the parents are the same. You just need to understand your parent too
No one WANTS to work, excpet maybe porn stars and beer testers. That being said, if I didn’t have to I certainly would not. You hang in there …
yes I’m on the right blog!.. I ain’t no dummy. I know my way around the internet, let me assure you. And its a saying.. you never heard that saying before? Get the heck out of dodge means escape for a while.. get away from your troubles..
I’m really shocked that you never heard that before.
@Ahmed Masri
No.. I never heard of it before. It sounds old school or a modern lingo that I do not speak.
hahaha I suppose it is. An old pop-culture reference. I will try to say in this century for you from now on.
I posted on my blog about people getting on to parents whose kids still live at home. Mine is 20 and still does. I will NEVER understand the mentality of my own country as to WHY kids are pressured to leave home at 18….like I said in my blog. People who don’t like my way of raisin’ my kid can kiss my Puerto Rican ass.
With that said Mona you do what is going to make you feel comfortable…the state of the economy sucks so being at home right now is the SMART thing….I know you will do well. You’re intelligent, witty and have allot to offer any company.
hi i have added u in my blogroll as friend..i wish u will return the favor!!!
have a nice day
maybe you will get what you need when you grow up!
You are a rude, condescending, self pitying fool.
Get your ass into gear and stop nagging!
@JESSIE
Lame. You seriously need to get a life instead of going on someone’s blog that you don’t know and start acting like a total fool. I pity you for your childish behaviors.
Is that the best you can do?
Interesting entry!
And, I understand your frustration – being stuck in 2 worlds, our parents are similar and well and we really face similar frustrations.
However, I sorta envy that you can get it into words (sometimes I find it difficult to really express what I want to say)…
You won’t like hearing this, but I sorta agree with what Jessie is saying… if you don’t like how things are working out for you, then I think what you gotta do is to get yourself in gear and start busting your ass and making things the way you want it to be! Although you don’t know what you want to do yet, but “locking yourself up in your room” (and hide?) isn’t going to do you much good in the end.
And lastly… I’ve had an experience when I was younger where things didn’t work out (when I took my parents’ advise) and well, ultimately, I should have done something differently and insisted on doing it my way because ultimately, I will live my own life (this came from my mom). So… sometimes, even your parents who you look up to, twist things around and you’re the one left with picking up the pieces YOURSELF. The lessons I have learned from this experience is: 1) don’t blame anyone… because sometimes even when you want to, they can come back and bite you! and 2) what my mom said is true, ultimately, we each live our own life… so be sure you make your own decisions! In the end, if things turn out well, you will live it… but if things stink and you will STILL have have to live and deal with it.
Take your time and I hope you will figure out what you want to do with your life! Perhaps you’re thinking long-term? How about reducing it to like, maybe a 1 or 2 year goal/plan? I mean, at our age, things can just (yet again) and make another unexpected turn and who knows? Maybe long-term planning just doesn’t work so well for us now…
I hope you will figure things out soon!