Who should I write for?
Dear Diary,
I haven’t explicitly told you anything lately. Although I have been writing to you for over 3 years now, but I seldom dedicate a post to you.
I am sitting right now on my couch, watching the snow fall. Each flake is like a little piece of tissue paper dancing in the sky. I look at those flakes and I wish I was one of them. The wind blowing me around, and letting me dance in all directions. Isn’t that a great life? Dancing before I fall?
It’s now 6:02 pm. How do I feel? Same as I felt yesterday and the day before. Nothing has changed, and I doubt anything will. I know, I have been complaining about it a lot lately, but what am I to do? I got nothing else to talk about. Boredom, low self esteem, loneliness has clouded my life.
I have to keep telling my self that this site is mine, and I write for my self. Not an audience. I just allowed comments, but people lately have taken it too far. If they feel they get pleasure from doing so, so more power to them. Because I got tired of it all. Really tired.
Now, at 6:12 pm I got an unknown phone call to my self phone. I kept saying hello hello for about 5 or 6 seconds. Then they hung up. I was like fine. Whoever it was knew my number, and called to check if I answered. Fine. Maybe I shouldn’t answer my phone at all. Maybe I should change my number and only use it for.. for.. I don’t know what for.
I don’t know, maybe I should start a new plan tomorrow. Because my current life, my current plans, my hopes and dreams are all dead now. Time to revive a new plan.
Sorry diary I don’t talk to you much, but what am I to do. I just keep assuming I am talking to you, but everyone else seems to answer me instead.
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Hi,
I know you probably don’t want to hear from anyone- and I am not your directed audience- but I wanted to tell you that I sort of know what you mean. I left my old journal because somehow my business was becoming everyone else’s and I felt restricted to write there.
If you ask me, I know I should not have. That was ‘my place’ and I am entitled to whatever opinion I hold.
I am probably not the ideal person to tell you this- but please keep talking to your diary, don’t care for others say- your business is not anyone else’s.
If you are anything like me (I’m not saying you are
)Sometimes writing a diary can make you feel less lonely.
Regards.
Mauzzie
you are certainly going through a rough patch. cheer up.. plans are useless anyway.. just go with it. go out, have fun, meet people.. I’m half tempted to come over, pick you up, and take you to Vegas, but I can’t. I have work to do.