Over the past six months, my life has taken a different unexpected trajectory to the unknown. I used to always be in control of my life. I made various decisions that I felt were best for me and only me. I tried so hard to follow a certain plan that I thought was best for my life, but that plan started deteriorating two years ago, and it slowly effected the way I think life should be. As a result, everything fell apart and the plan absolutely failed six months ago, and I had to end it and end everything that came as a result of it.

Interestingly, I tell people that I never plan anything, but I do did have a plan. Yet, after so many unexpected events in my life, I had to end that plan with my own hands. It just didn’t work, and the more I waited, the more I was going to loose every ounce of dignity and patience I had.

Throughout the past two years, I learned the most about people. I can tell when someone is lying through their teeth, or someone proudly showing off their status in life, and true meaning of friendships. I also learned that love is a simple word that can be said, can easily lure you to become a victim of, and you cannot escape it till you learn to hate.

I know many of you will jump and scream at me for using such a strong word such as hate. But, what is better? To be strong and express your true emotions in life, or be a victim of people’s heartless emotions towards you? I don’t know if you will pick the former or the latter. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Your decisions in life are really no one’s business but your self.

Moreover, I became more critical of people’s words. I read far too much between the lines. I have to. I have to protect my self and my dignity as a human being. I learned to analyze every word and think of a thousand reasons of why they said what they said, and what is their real intentions. I am purely one critical person. However, some people may think it is offensive, and others, well, they argue back and prove me wrong. Those argumentative people are the ones that I love. They are the people that will never take no for an answer.

As a result, from all these self discoveries, I learned that life is not a plan you can set for your self on a piece of paper and check off every part that was “completed” as intended.

However, over the past six months, I learned a new important lesson in life. To wait. It has nothing really to do with how patient I am. Because I am not. But, what am I waiting for? I think the mystery of finding that out is what drives me to wake up every morning. Just the thought that maybe today something will happen unlike yesterday is suspenseful. My life has become a suspense story. I wait and I wait. It drives any normal person mad, but the more I wait for the unknown, the more alive I become.

I wouldn’t say I am happy, excited, depressed or sad, but nonchalant. If I didn’t care about my well being, I would be smoking heavy cigars and drinking ten cups of coffee a day. Yet, that wait, and nonchalant manner of living is what made my absolute nothing lifestyle a bit bearable. It is supposed to infuriate me, but what can I say, the wait is alluring.

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post, Whatever!

Funny.

Source

Funny

Hmm, excuse my language. But finally, finally I am reading people’s questions. However, I noticed the same old questions over and over. So I will post some questions, and provide a simple to the point answer.

1. Capricorns are all the same. They act like they don’t have a religion and that’s how I found your blog.

So, for those people that are reformed from all religions, and want to find a soul mate, search for females between the ages of 0 – 120 that are born December 22 – January 21. I am sure they share the same view as you.

2. Im not gonna lie, i read what u put before we send u a message. i stopped by this page and saw ur picture and i farreal think i can make u mona! Get it? make u moan-a. HAHHAHAH woooooooo. Im rebelious arab Boy, holla wallah!!!!!!!!!!!

Lame.

3. why do you call yourself rebellious girl? do you not love arab anymore?

For the three millionth times, if I don’t love Arabs, why the hell do I have the word Rebellious ARAB Girl in the title?

4. I would like to know where I may find and/or download a few debka songs. I have tried vigirously with no luck. Please and Thank you

It seems that I am a search engine for Arabic music. My answer is, ask an Arabic music site!

5. Thank you for your effort spreading the word to the world to know about the truth.

You mean, the hard honest truth that makes people cringe from disgust? I get paid by an unknown organization to spread the truth! Millions I tell ya! Millions!

6. add me to your messenger so that i can learn more about palestine from u.

Is that all you want to learn from me? I suggest you pick up an encyclopedia that is labeled with the letter P. Do you know what an encyclopedia is? Or you need help with that too?

7. hi, I want to marriage with a palestinian girls,; can you help me? thank you.

Ask your mother. Or aunt. Or your current mother-in-law.

8. Some one gave this website to my friend and told him to give it to me, so i can add here. I dont know if that was you ore not. Do you live in college station Texas??

Hmm. You were able to send me a question through my site, but you failed to read on the top sidebar of my site that I live in London, Ontario, Canada. Which happens to be a totally different country. Can I make an ASS-umption and call you an ignorant blind fool?

9. How r u,who can i meet u

Who? Or where? You lost me there. I suggest you learn English first. I don’t like FOBS emailing me.

10. mona
i think u need to make up your mind. i cannot get self hating arabs. everything you said could apply to any ethnic group -have ever sat down with a group of jewish mothers? every culture has its positives and negatives but ours has the advantage of being diverse because of its history.
abuse? america has the highest statistics against women. tolerance-hmmmm segregation is still remembered by some. the west is not all it is cracked up to be. rebel against those who want to erase your palestinian heritage.

So I am not allowed to rebel against Arab nations that refused to give me rights as an Arab, but kept calling me a foreigner? And I cannot rebel against a group of people that refuse change, and keep segregating them selves from the rest of the world? I need to reevaluate my mission in life. My God, I know nothing about Arabs. Ps. I don’t live in America. Ok?

11. Mona, I recently stumbled upon your site and I just wanted to compliment you on all you do. I also became a friend on facebook and thoroughly enjoy reading all of your postings. They are all very well put and full of insight. Many times, these sites become a type of personal opinions, however you actually back up what you mention with facts. Again, keep up the good work.

I mention things with facts? (Looking back at old posts.. … … …) What facts? It is purely personal opinions. That’s what makes me so darn special.

12. ummm y the fuck r u in london the most racist ppl in the world live there if u havent noticed u cant even wear a scarf there sooooo wat the fuck r u thinking please answer back

Which London are you talking about? The one in Canada where I live or UK? Last that I have known, both cities have a large population of A-Rabs, Mozlems, multitude of international ethnic groups and my God, many wear a scarf or turban. Plus, what was I thinking living here? You are right. I got to leave. People here are not allowed freedom to wear a scarf, but they can shave their heads, tattoo their faces, and pierce their butts!

13. i also live in london ,if u want to build friendship ,email me

Your IP address tells me that you live in UK. Wrong country. Learn to read about me first before you email me within 30 seconds of you arriving on my site and seeing my picture.

14. Im syrian leving in england, I just wont to say you make a veray intresting arabec women with lots of issue on your mined to discuss this is complement to your way of thinking ,I came cruse yure site by funny coensidant.best regared

Once you learn to write English properly, and since England is the birth of the language, then email me back and tell me why you want to talk to a person that lives across the ocean? Are you lonely? Want a virtual hug? Porn is not satisfying enough and you want a nice Arab girl that knows nothing about your filthy history?

15. i just now yor sit and send for you .

Again. Fob.

16. Hey Mona,

Do you have a favorite quote or maybe more than 1 which you could send me in English, Arabic writing and Arabic (hm hm hm , how do you call that) Arabic-English writing ?

Hmm, Ana ma ba3rif aktob 3araby bas a7ky 3araby. Immy da2eman bet2olly, “Law el jamal shaf 7ordabtoh, we2e3 wa kasar ra2ebtoh!” Hahaha.. Lame. I know.

17. As a fellow Palestinian, with western background, and who is a freelance PHP/Actionscript Expert.. I am angry I didn’t find this blog before…

Good luck with all you do.

I say my friend, put that anger towards something more constructive and creative. Like building a tower, or swimming across the ocean with your speedos. What I learned in life, anger helps in creativity. The angrier, the better.

18. Hello. What religion are you?

If I told you, will I get a cookie?

That’s enough for this edition of answering questions that I received via this site. I got many Facebook PMs that I will post later for fun. Ta ta!

Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Funny, Idiots, Religion, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!

Well, I haven’t indulged in the act of counting the days I have been sitting at home and doing nothing yet. I haven’t gone that crazy yet. Give me some time before I do. Everything takes time. Anyways, so I was thinking, at my rate of horrible luck in life and everything I do, what do you think is a more likely event to happen in my life first?

Blah Blah, Confused, Depressed, Random Thoughts, Sleepy Post

I have a strange set of parents. One day my dad tells me to not worry about getting work, and to relax and don’t bother. Other days he would tell me to start a company from home. Like it is easy to just out of the blue start a company from your house. He just wants me to sit at home so he doesn’t worry about me being out of the house half the day. Other days he would be like listen to your brother and look for work where he lives. Or try to find work in the Gulf, like UAE or somewhere else.

Then, there is my mother. My mother is a typical Arab mom. She would nag me and say, “go look for work. You want other women to say that you just sit at home and do nothing. It’s enough you worked with Arabs in your old job and their moms won’t shut up and I have to keep denying it. Others keep hinting that the economy is bad and everyone is loosing their job and sitting at home doing nothing. It’s like they want to say something and want to show off that their daughters or sons still have jobs in these tough times. Mona, when will you get a job? Get any job.”

This is the constant nagging in my house. My parents are completely different from one another. When I tried to look for any job just so I can sway away a little bit from IT and touch base in other industries, then my parents say, “no no. Don’t. Stick to your field of work.” Once I go to interviews for something related to my field of work, after an interview, they say, “Don’t worry. You can find another job. Just keep looking.” Like they have no faith in me. I would have an interview and they don’t ask me how I did. They just say, look for something else, or don’t worry about getting a job. I am like what the fuck is wrong with you people?

My parents, as we say in Arabic, 3ala 3eeny wa rasy, but seriously they are the reason I am loosing my patience. They are the reason I am going crazy. One says something, the other says something else. In the end, what the hell do they want from me?

And my parents are not normal Arab parents. They are Arabized in certain cultural issues, but when it comes to the over all picture, they don’t act like one. Like I seldom get nagged about getting married. I hardly hear that from my parents. It is either they gave up on me because of my age and culture we were cursed in, or they are hoping I find a job in La La land where the major company population is Arab and find someone there. That’s their way of thinking which pisses the hell out of me.

At times mom tells me about all these young girls getting married and she wonders where they meet guys. I am like, ah, family friends? Internet? Their family actually go out of the house and meet other families in their age group that have sons?

I honestly don’t understand my parents. Or maybe I will never understand because I grew up in the environment different than theirs. However, at times, my mom tells me that Arabs here act like they are still living in a village back home, and that’s why their traditions are still the same here. That’s why they all know each other. However, my family is Palestinian. We traveled from country to country, and we don’t really know anyone. We don’t have family here, and I have never met half my family. They don’t even know me and some don’t even know how I look at all.

Like honest to God, I am stuck between two worlds. My parents are stuck between two worlds different than mine. I live in a crazy nut house. Each one has different expectations from me, and they are pissing me off to the point that I want to lock my self up again, don’t talk to anyone, hate my life, and pray to God that it is the last day on earth for me.

I had enough!

I don’t want work. I don’t want anything. I just want to be left alone till I figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life.

Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, They said what?, Whatever!