I need to find new people
I need to start looking for someone, or for new friends. The older I am getting, the quicker I am losing friends because they are moving on with their lives. They either find a significant other that occupies their time, they are moving on with greater and better things, getting engaged, or getting married, etc. So what does that leave me? Old and alone. So time to find Mr. Right, or new friends.
It’s hard to find single friends my age that are Arabs. 90% of them are married with 5 kids by now, and they are too preoccupied with family matters. And if you are not like them, or living a similar life like them, then you are not worth their time. They don’t want to deal with you or want a single friend around, especially around their husbands or boyfriends.
So what am I to do? I am sick of sitting home all day with no one to talk to. No one bothers to see how I am, or care to ask. Like really care to ask, out of their hearts, and not because they need something. They call me or SMS like crazy trying to find me because they want something. Why no one ever calls or messages me to ask me how I am? Maybe I am sick. Maybe I am dying. Do they care? No. No one does.
I just feel the days are just running by, and I am just watching. I keep asking my self, why me? What did I do to deserve this?
That’s why I am getting really irritated lately finding work. Because in my head, if I find a new job, I can find new friends, and new people to talk to. Something new. I just want to fill my time, and talk to people. The job hunt is making me so depressed and lonely. It got to the point where I ask my self, who will ever hire me again? What am I to do all day?
I keep trying to find something to do, other than write on this blog, but all I end up doing is reading books or watching TV. I don’t have the urge to do anything else or talk to anyone. I just feel that no one will ever understand what I am going through, and end up lecturing me or telling me their great life stories that makes me feel so low and insignificant in their eyes.
I am telling you, I doubt I will ever find work again. I quit my old job because I couldn’t stand working there anymore with the people there. However, I didn’t think that finding a job was that difficult. I quit the old job to give me a boost and better reason to find work. Yet, it is March now.
I can’t even go to the mall anymore or shop or anything. I just feel guilty if I ever buy anything. I am well off financially, but just the thought of buying anything makes me ask my self a million questions. Why am I buying this? Where am I going to wear this at? It is just getting frustrating that I am suffering from a horrible psychological disease again. No. Not depression. I suffer from that daily. However, now I am suffering from Trichotillomania.
If you are wondering what it is, I will explain it in simple terms. I keep pulling hair from my head from the roots. I do it uncontrollably and unconsciously. I used to do it way back, a few years ago, maybe 5 or 6 years ago, but now, I am at it again. My room is filled with hair. Long pieces of hair on my floor or in the family room. I just don’t stop. Why do I do it? Simple. My brain is actively thinking and won’t stop. The more I think, the more I end up pulling hair from the roots. It needs to stop!
I want it to stop. I want my life to change so bad. I am getting extremely frustrated. 
Advice, Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Sleepy Post, They said what?, Whatever!
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Its hard to find single friends my age that are Arabs.
Yes that actually makes it harder, Shouldn’t friendship be based on compatibility rather than RACE, RELIGION, REGION.
OMG, that is terrible, Mona, about the hair-pulling thing. You will find work again, don’t worry about that. I hope and pray a good job prospect comes your way soon inshaAllah. And believe me, hon, lots of people care about you…think just of how many read your blogs and your tweets! *hugs*
I have been feeling depressed lately too. I actually am starting to wonder why so many Arab girls living in the West are like this? I have heard of so many girl feeling like this becasue of the two culture issues, but who knows maybe its nothing to do with that. I heard about the hair pulling thing on the Tyra Show. There was a girl that does it without knowing but unlike you she was eating on it.
@Azhar
That’s true.. but if you are an Arab, it is hard to get along with non-Arabs and get them to understand you. It’s a cultural thing.
for me true friendship is not bounded by culture, religion, race or financial status. you’ll find true friends one day soon.
Mona,
I am sure you will find friends, Arab or non Arab.
If only you could move to Alberta, I would recommend you at our company because they are hiring programmers and system analysts. Seriously. But you may not wanna move since your family is in London. Well, Toronto is a bit closer and that could be another thing, but of course, it is up to you.
Just keep applying and you will find a job eventually.
It is true what Digital Nomad said, if we did not care, we would not comment on here or visit your blog. I hope you feel better soon Hugz
I am not sure of what you really want to get!
Anyways.. I have moved lots in my life because of my father’s work, and I had to change all my friends often and forget about them.. i understand you some how.. good luck!
I think there is nothing like old friends (school for example!).. I have moved from the place I used to live again, I was lonely some how even my friends at work were not giving the same feeling and meaning of friendship like the old friends.. thanks god I have managed to buy a place for living near to my old friends!
I thought I am the only one.
I am lonely and not well off financially too.
You are better, belive me.
Cheers !!!
Oh pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…. just don’t put arabs in to this. I’m a non-arab, but still I don’t see it that way. The main thing is ppl @ ur age starting settling for their life. And some pple like you and me
just keep wondering around. Don’t make yourself feel lonely. You have so many ppl visiting you, virtually. As for me, I try to make friends whenever I can.
Just keep up the good spirit. The show must go on; and it will too.
Trying to stay positive… but… hmmm..
The key to staying positive and not get too depressed is to keep busy doing something productive. You could always volunteer your skills to some charity that needs their website over hauled or you could sign up with a temp agency and do some temp jobs for the fun of it. The main thing is to have a purpose to get up in the morning. I wouldn’t worry about not finding another job you will find one. You are only 28 so you are 37 years away from retirement age. If it is any consolation it takes on average about 6 to 12 months of looking in earnest to find another job and that is in a good economy never mind an economy going into a recession. An economy in a recession you are probably looking at 1 to 2 years of looking for work. You have only been unemployed for six months so buck up! It took me a minimum of seven months to find a job and I just took the first thing that came along. I don’t know whether that was good or bad I guess it depends.
Why don’t you shower, face Mecca, and pray to God? You will feel better for sure…trust Allah.
I <3 you and your blogs…screw those morons, you don’t need their crap!
BTW, have you ever gotten e-mails saying “I want sex w u?”
looooser!