Have you ever had that feeling?

Those people really piss you off eh? virtual advisers talking from high perspective and criticizing this and that “wait a min, I think I do that too..hmmm”

Well nice going with bursting their bubble, and let me suggest putting a statement at the “contact me” page saying,Advice Emails are not welcome If I want your advice I will ask for it thank you.

by the way those smilies are cooool!

Led Zeppelin :pirate:
aka
mr.anonymous

Another great post. Yes, I have felt depressed for many years. There’s nothing magic that works for everyone. What worked for me might not work for anyone else. When I was depressed, I felt that I was a failure because I wasn’t happy, and that nobody else was so stupid as to feel as bad as I did. At the time, I was highly successful, and I had everything that I thought I wanted, but was still sad.

I don’t know why this site interests me. Maybe because I can relate. Perhaps because it’s so honest and personal. Each time I read this site, I hope you find your perfect husband and perfect job.

I have been through varies depressive episodes in my life and have journals full of rambling pain. It is really difficult to go back and read it now. I’m always in awe of your ability to put your raw emotions out there like you do. Some people may not be able to handle it but I know there have got to be a lot of people who read what you write and don’t say anything, who totally get it.

Yes. I think I have been somewhat depressed most of my life, though also trying it not getting over me. But only when social pressure has been overwhelming I have been truly depressed because they left me no realistic way out.

It’s as simple as society (i.e. people, generally speaking, from family to friends to economical actors, even your couple when you have it) having certain kind of expectations about what you’re supposed to be or to do, while you really are largely uninterested in all that. Also there are many expectations that you will individually achieve those goals by yourself, while in fact that is often not possible or extremely hard. You get blamed, more or less explicitly, and you internalize that guilt to some extent, in spite of healthy resistences, and you just go down: your self-esteem falls and you just don’t want to do anything, much less anything that could expose you again to such social pressure.

So yes, you want to be left alone. And there is a good reason for that.

It is not that the social expectations are themselves wrong: after all it’s what most people try to do, with more or less success. So it’s kind of normal (and I’m being kinda patronizing towards presumpt “normal people” but someone has to) that they expect that from you: we all somehow expect others to be like us or like we believe ourselves to be, even if that’s not normally the case in fact (or just up to a point). It is that you get fed up of them: such expectations are not really for you and you are left to find your own way out.

The age you are at, bordering the 30s, is in my experience a critical period anyhow. Especially in our society, in which youth (roughly 18-27 y.o.) is considered both the top of he top and also an extended kindergarten of sorts (i.e. you are not really expected to be settled down yet). You are basically challeneged to become an adult (i.e. ecnomically independent, responsible, probably with children…) and that is a big pressure.

Avice? Really nothing you surely don’t know: try to keep some contact with nature (small things like getting the rays of the sun on you, taking regular walks outside, may be of great physical and psychological help) and try to get/keep friends who really value you for what you are and not for what they wish you to be.

I have re-checked your astrological chart (no asc, cause I don’t know your birth time) and it seems to me that Cancer Moon may make you more sensible than average and that makes a big difference and may make you feel “alone”, as others are less likely to really understand your feelings. Cancer Moon is great but has (like everything) some risks and getting enclosed in home is one of them (Crabs do that when they feel danger, Crabs are in general quite homy in any case). Another element I consider important is the lunar node, which in your case is in Leo (south node in Aquarius), this should mean that you need to be more yourself, letting your creativity out and detaching yourself from social pressures. Aquarian influences (which I consider gregarious, against mainstream interpretations) should drag your feet and be a counter-producing influence.

So yeah: force yourself out of the shell now and then and be yourself. What I see is a promising, somewhat contradictory woman who just needs to do what she really wants to, and not what others want you to.

My best wishes. I’m gonna to force myself to a walk as the wintery sun seems to be shining outside.