Who is left to trust?
We live in a very materialistic world. We live in a very secretive world. We live in a very one dimensional world of thoughts.
[source]
I used to always be dumbfounded by people reaching out to me to ask for advice. Maybe getting advice from a total stranger is easier than asking for the same from a friend or family member. Sometimes receiving such advice may ease their bewilderment of the constant thought of “why me?”
Then, I remembered my self, and I reached out to the whole world to find an answer. I have never in my life discussed my problems with anyone or thought I can trust a person I know with my problems. I, like many of you, reached out to other people to ask for help. I didn’t email someone. I didn’t call a total stranger. I just wrote thoughts on a website, and people answered. Same as when people email and expect an answer. We all want an answer, but who has the correct answer?
Here are some recent questions or thoughts from people (who will remain anonymous.)
(Male)
1. I met this girl that I want to get to know more for marriage, but she is so secretive, and I can’t talk to her without her dad in the way. I can’t even talk to her on MSN or phone. So how am I suppose to get to know someone? Also, I happened to be in the right place in the right time, and I caught her smoking. I don’t know what else she does behind her parent’s back, but she goes to other cities on the weekend with her friends, and I don’t know what else she does. She happens to wear hijab too.
(Male)
2. I met a girl through chat, and she seemed nice in person and while chatting with her. We had a romantic relationship and I thought she was the one. However, weeks passed, and she suddenly stopped talking to me. A friend of a friend told me that she got married, and she has been engaged for over a year. Why can’t girls be honest? Why do they play such harsh games? Was I just a last fling before she got married?
(Female)
3. My sister got pregnant from her boyfriend, and the whole family is happy about it. We were not raised this way in our Arabic culture or Islamic religion, and I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty about it, and I don’t know how to stop it.
(Male)
4. You seem enlightened with Arab issues and female power. There is a Lesbian Arab female in Canada, have you seen or heard of her? She is trying to change Shari’a and Islamic Laws. She is someone to discuss on your site and look into.
(Male)
5. According to our culture, we have committed so many sinful and unspeakable actions. What can we do? Who are we to satisfy? Our selves or our culture? Do you think when our people and others read what you wrote what will they say and think.. I do not know but you admit that is wrong and your elders will disapprove and think it is sin.. dear that is too much and too far away from being independent and open mind..
Those are summaries or direct quotes from people. I already answered them, but I keep thinking that the world is so messed up. I know there are more complicated problems or thoughts than what I posted, and some I really don’t want to write out or share because they are too shocking. However, why do some people think or do things that are purely not right? Why do people think a certain way, and think everyone else should do? Why do people think the worst in others, and spread negativity and hatred?
Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
My take on the subject: Everything is not black and white…there are a lot of grey areas. I’m giving an overall picture, view from the top that is, on this topic.
Mankind has devised over generations 4 things to keep things in some form of balance.
Customs (1) and regulations (2) on how one deals (3) with another and how the community stands together to support a hierarchy (4) of the system. The choice what to practice has continued to change till date.
Any form of entity in religion, tradition, manners, habits, institution of law, order, government, economics, dictatorship, military, industry, school directly and indirectly linked to the above.
If someone wants to get out of this healthy form of thinking to improve, but rather directly impose self gratification, you identified the culprit. What they intend to do is not for others’ well being but their own and self justify their actions.
A system where one is conditioned to think in a particular way due to the structure mentioned above: needs at the same time to be conditioned to think otherwise. A person can’t flip sides without accumulative reasoning or just to have quick benefits in life (typical thinking to cases you have mentioned in the post)
Ouch. Why people are behaving negatively? For long, sociologists and psychologists have spent years on reasoning the same. They prefer if these kinds of people have come to appreciate and respect others as they treat themselves. And it comes to the above said concept of the 4 things. It’s same as listening to reasonable elders in modern terms.
But why do they do that? Indirectly, do we need to find an answer to justify their craving to explain their behavior? [some historians have gone literally mad trying to reason why bad people have done what they did] What happens is more and people cheat and the chain is built up. It happens to good hearted people and willing to form collective action to stop this kind of behavior.
Every identified troublemaker needs reeducation by specialists. Since the emotions are a deep and we can’t know what another person really thinks, isolation/banishment is final treatment (which was the first form of punishment treatment in the ancient past, who has got time and energy to change someone???). Execution (no time spend for too much thinking over the dude) and jail time (reeducation/ vocational training was introduced later by replying on tax money/ programs from non-profit organizations) are avenues where correction was sought out through.
Spoken in school or public meetings: Don’t think science will help our children to understand how to deal with each other. 2+2 will never give answers on how to deal with emotions. When You are have the answer, please teach your children good things. (And post plenty of problems, sourced from the internet, on how it returns back to them)
People more often talk abt childhood pregnancy in mostly developing countries. But studies have shown that the cases are far worse in the developed countries and that England tops the list.
Trying to stop it will not solve any problem. We have to regulate it so that the people know what they are upto.
@John Jacob
Man.. you write a lot. I did not read all that. I barely skimmed through it.
@Rahul
what the hell does this have to do with my post?
Whether you like it or not, it seems that people are assuming you are the Arab “Dear Abbey”. Very funny. I wonder how much they will pay for your advice.
@Mona
Good questions are those that have multi-layered answers. Considering the way a person buries themself to find the answers away from normal thinking, it requires critical approach to finding solutions too.
Answer to the “why” is found. But then aren’t you in a sort of way responsible now, after finding the answer? Are you willing to go the extra mile to do something for those who ask for help? As you might have learned, it takes action more than words for the change.
I guess the rebels want approval and the conformists dont want to consider a crooked line. I think once both “consider” (nothing more) each others’ views, then the world will start to be a better place. Unfortunately, us humans are pretty poor at considering the thoughts of other people, so this world is not going to change any time soon. :/