Comments on: Best way to break it off before it even begins http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/ Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:30:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Bullet Dodger http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43739 Bullet Dodger Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:51:58 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43739 <a href="#comment-43709" rel="nofollow">@John Jacob </a> To answer your questions: 1) Smoking is NASTY!!!! I can't be or fall in love with anyone who smells like shit, unless they are under 3 years old. 2)I like fun. Who doesn't like to have fun. I would actually love it even more if she went out with her friends to have a good time because then I would get the same opportunities with my friends. It's what she does for fun, that may have been the issue. If her idea of fun is to drink and get bombed off her ass, then there's an issue, especially her being a Muslim and all. To be fair, I don't actually know or not if she does, but I get that hunch based on the conversation with the old man. I only sent this email to Mona just as another example based on the earlier email. This girl had kept all of this from me. The smoking and 'the whatever she does' when shes away, I could understand not saying in front of her parents, since she thinks that they don't know. But the previous engagement would have nice. I was upfront with some of my issues with her and all I was expecting was the same in return. Maybe that's too big an expectation, I don't know. @John Jacob
To answer your questions:

1) Smoking is NASTY!!!! I can’t be or fall in love with anyone who smells like shit, unless they are under 3 years old.

2)I like fun. Who doesn’t like to have fun. I would actually love it even more if she went out with her friends to have a good time because then I would get the same opportunities with my friends. It’s what she does for fun, that may have been the issue. If her idea of fun is to drink and get bombed off her ass, then there’s an issue, especially her being a Muslim and all. To be fair, I don’t actually know or not if she does, but I get that hunch based on the conversation with the old man.

I only sent this email to Mona just as another example based on the earlier email. This girl had kept all of this from me. The smoking and ‘the whatever she does’ when shes away, I could understand not saying in front of her parents, since she thinks that they don’t know. But the previous engagement would have nice. I was upfront with some of my issues with her and all I was expecting was the same in return. Maybe that’s too big an expectation, I don’t know.

]]> By: Bullet Dodger http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43738 Bullet Dodger Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:40:38 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43738 <a href="#comment-43704" rel="nofollow">@Simply Me </a> I thought about what you were saying that maybe they did not want me for her. If that was the case, I would be perfectly okay with that. Her/their loss really. But there are things that I did not include in the email I wrote to Mona such as I actually saw her smoking. And as Mona has eluded to many times over, word spreads fast in the Arab world. So my parents asked a few others and what her father was saying was in fact true, that she does go out and do stuff behind their backs. So, I would tend to think that since they maybe felt a little embarrassed the first time she was engaged and had it broken off due to her bahavior, they did not want to go through it again. @Simply Me
I thought about what you were saying that maybe they did not want me for her. If that was the case, I would be perfectly okay with that. Her/their loss really. But there are things that I did not include in the email I wrote to Mona such as I actually saw her smoking. And as Mona has eluded to many times over, word spreads fast in the Arab world. So my parents asked a few others and what her father was saying was in fact true, that she does go out and do stuff behind their backs. So, I would tend to think that since they maybe felt a little embarrassed the first time she was engaged and had it broken off due to her bahavior, they did not want to go through it again.

]]> By: Mona http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43722 Mona Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:02:20 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43722 <a href="#comment-43721" rel="nofollow">@Canucklehead</a> What does true/false have to do with this? lol oh well, you are always off topic anyways! :P @Canucklehead
What does true/false have to do with this? lol oh well, you are always off topic anyways! :P

]]> By: Canucklehead http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43721 Canucklehead Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:52:56 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43721 A little off topic, but I thought you should know. Due to the fact that TRUE/FALSE questions have no C possible, B has been named the new C .... /the more you know ... A little off topic, but I thought you should know. Due to the fact that TRUE/FALSE questions have no C possible, B has been named the new C ….

/the more you know …

]]> By: M.N http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43720 M.N Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:06:16 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43720 The experience he tells is sad and is not isolated. There are many Arabs who immigrated to the west but never really adjusted to the new environment, and also did not keep up with changes in their home country, so they're stuck with outdated ideas and values that are not compatible with their new surroundings and create a great distance between what they believe is right and how their children want to live. I think Arabs (and generally Muslim) immigrants often underestimate how much effort it takes to be able to live a life of a Muslim and at the same time not be isolated from their new society, also they underestimate how much effort (+luck) it takes to maintain good communication with their childern who grew up in the West. They need to get used to distinguishing between true and important Islamic values from simply Arab social traditions, and being much more flexible about traditions, also making efforts to integrate well with and understand the society around them better. When they do not integate well and do not communicate well with their childern often the result is that the children will go to one extreme or the other: be strict and sometimes fanatical about Islam or give up on it alltogether in their own private life outside the family home. The experience he tells is sad and is not isolated. There are many Arabs who immigrated to the west but never really adjusted to the new environment, and also did not keep up with changes in their home country, so they’re stuck with outdated ideas and values that are not compatible with their new surroundings and create a great distance between what they believe is right and how their children want to live. I think Arabs (and generally Muslim) immigrants often underestimate how much effort it takes to be able to live a life of a Muslim and at the same time not be isolated from their new society, also they underestimate how much effort (+luck) it takes to maintain good communication with their childern who grew up in the West. They need to get used to distinguishing between true and important Islamic values from simply Arab social traditions, and being much more flexible about traditions, also making efforts to integrate well with and understand the society around them better. When they do not integate well and do not communicate well with their childern often the result is that the children will go to one extreme or the other: be strict and sometimes fanatical about Islam or give up on it alltogether in their own private life outside the family home.

]]> By: yazan http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43719 yazan Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:10:00 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43719 2 hours show off 2 hours show off

]]> By: Mona http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43715 Mona Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:12:15 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43715 <a href="#comment-43712" rel="nofollow">@Ahmad Hamdan</a> A lot of money? TOO MUCH MONEY! Arab weddings are so expensive. Why? For 5 hours to show off? @Ahmad Hamdan
A lot of money? TOO MUCH MONEY! Arab weddings are so expensive. Why? For 5 hours to show off?

]]> By: Ahmad Hamdan http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43712 Ahmad Hamdan Wed, 08 Apr 2009 12:31:13 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43712 I have to agree with dee, there is no way that an Arab family would say anything bad about their daughter even if she did those things, I think the dad didn't want him to marry his daughter. I agree with you Mona why would someone marry specially Arabs who love to pay a lot of their money in a wedding just to show that our daughter is precious I have to agree with dee, there is no way that an Arab family would say anything bad about their daughter even if she did those things, I think the dad didn’t want him to marry his daughter.
I agree with you Mona why would someone marry specially Arabs who love to pay a lot of their money in a wedding just to show that our daughter is precious

]]> By: John Jacob http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43710 John Jacob Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:22:25 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43710 One of the best way that tells how a (good) guy will go lengths to try to understand the issue: Head Over Heels http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiIBT6WLOBA One of the best way that tells how a (good) guy will go lengths to try to understand the issue:

Head Over Heels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiIBT6WLOBA

]]> By: John Jacob http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/04/07/best-way-to-break-it-off-before-it-even-began/comment-page-1/#comment-43709 John Jacob Wed, 08 Apr 2009 10:54:19 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6045#comment-43709 Well the question for Bullet Dodger is can you accept a girl who likes to smoke, and visit places where she goes to have fun. Or if you see it another way: Can you create a fun in her life that she does not have to go anywhere else except to drool over you. :razz: Some guys are just plain (i dunno what to say). Girls love to have fun. Definition of fun changes time to time. But generally if the guy wants to term himself as a the bread winner and remains aloof on fun (due to 'responsibilities'), what do wife do? She is a human being right. For such typical girl and guy searching like the case mentioned: set the expectations instead of seeing families and making judgment on others. Its their life. What yours? Anything interesting? Even after a suitable person is found there is plenty of arguments in a married life which is good. Guess when we look for someone find a person who likes to have healthy yapping. :grin: Well the question for Bullet Dodger is can you accept a girl who likes to smoke, and visit places where she goes to have fun.

Or if you see it another way: Can you create a fun in her life that she does not have to go anywhere else except to drool over you. :razz:

Some guys are just plain (i dunno what to say). Girls love to have fun. Definition of fun changes time to time. But generally if the guy wants to term himself as a the bread winner and remains aloof on fun (due to ‘responsibilities’), what do wife do? She is a human being right.

For such typical girl and guy searching like the case mentioned: set the expectations instead of seeing families and making judgment on others. Its their life. What yours? Anything interesting?

Even after a suitable person is found there is plenty of arguments in a married life which is good. Guess when we look for someone find a person who likes to have healthy yapping. :grin:

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