How do you know me?
The other day, I was at the mall with my mother, and she saw this lady that she knew. Obviously, my mom introduced me to her. The lady said, “you are Mona from University right?” Mystified, I said, “ah, yah I was?” She said, “so you do know Xxxx Xxxx? Right?” I raised an eye brow, and said, “aah.. yah.. from a long time ago.” She said, “well now she is in Xxx country, and has two kids.” I almost rolled my eyes in utter disgust from the same old stories of this and that got married, and reproducing like rabbits before the age of 25, and then I said, “aha.. ok???”
[source]
First off, I have never met this lady ever in my life, and my mom recently knew her, and the lady’s daughters are much younger than me. So there was no way her daughters would know anything about me or even my name. And the girl she was talking about, that is my age, I stopped talking to her when I was 20! I was friends with her, but I didn’t like how her brothers acted and were always there surrounding her like tigers. So, why was I known then amongst the masses, even till now?
Oh I forgot, I live in mini village London, where the exponentially growing Arab population here live a life of six two degrees of separation. Once you know one, everyone else knows you!
I feel like I am in highschool all over again. People knew me and my entire life, and I had no idea who they were.
If I lived in an Arab country, I wouldn’t have to experience such a thing. Why Arabs abroad feel obligated that they MUST know everyone in their city? Even Arabs in nearby cities? Who they are/were friends with? Where they buy their shoes from?
My mom yesterday said something interesting, which I couldn’t agree more. She said, “Arabs are great, but they have one bad trait. Most of the time, they are spiteful towards each other.”
I wonder what will happen if all Arabs in this great town of mine knew my website. I swear, I will start getting hate messages through Facebook or email. Thank God I don’t add many people to my personal Facebook account, or use it much, or even put anything on Facebook that causes any form of controversy. Well, the only controversy that my Facebook profile would ever have, is that I said I am politically VERY Liberal, and I am single. Now that’s GOSSIP!
** By the way, for those of you who live in London, Canada, I apologize. London is not a mini village or town, but a great city populated with about 400,000 people. However, why does it feel like I have to say “Howdy Y’all!!” all the time?
Blah Blah, Facebook, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!
Loading ...
Guess you’re popular not just in the blogger world but in the real world as well
@Rahul
I rather contain my popularity online!
Well in Mauritius it is quite the same story and i got many friends who are smaller than me and got kids like rabbit.
You know why Arab when they live abroad want to know eveyone in their place? Its because they want to feel some how comfortable that their are people around them who are the same like them and share a similar heritage. This isn’t just with arab its for every human from the world from any country, when he goes abroad he want to meet people who are from his same nationality or whatever you name it, even though the priincipal of living abroad is to know new people who are different like you but in the end its just human nature.
well said ahmed.
variety is the my key to keeping it interesting, however, so i would have to keep it interesting by, say, breaking out and introducing myself to a new crowd.
it could be great to get to know a whole community which shared values.
some of the people i have been good friends with in the past have married happily, but the others are traveling and content, so i guess its a good thing that these people have found their niche.
i have been in a town outside Houston for many years and i feel the whole community of arabs knows me relatively, or has heard of me. thats not to say i go brandishing my name, sword in hand everywhere, more like i make friends easily and find little reason to push them away. in a sense i feel like I’m your opposite mona.
I once walked into a Lebanese restaurant where i knew there were a family of Palestinians. The whole restaurant was filled with the family and i greeted people lightly and enjoyed the free cookies. So i owe the Palestinians a huge favor, maybe one day you can tell me what that favor is.
@Ahmad Hamdan
Yah, I understand your view point. It’s because we are away from our normal environment, etc. But, life changed, and Arabs here are not a small percentage, or only few families. It’s a huge chunk of people, and can populate a small city all by themselves!
wow, that thing about arabs always knowing each other or wanting to know each other, thats exactly like people from somalia, you think you have it bad. Gosh its even worser with the teenage years. it calms down with the 20’s.. LOL try hearing your related to everybody you meet and strangers saying their related to you, this tribe stuff is killer. and not to mention the somali community keeps on rising but i agree with the ahmad hadan guy, no matter how much you say you dont like them, or dont like the over presense of arabs. its like living in the middle of nowhere with only a certain ethnic group, when 1 arab walks into the place, how glad would you be knowing somebody understands you a bit better than they do – same ways with somali people i hate them but i cant live without them
“If I lived in an Arab country, I wouldnt have to experience such a thing.”
Not a chance Mona. It is just as bad out here.. if not worse!
@Ahmed Masri
. However, if you live in an Arabic country you are less likely to face it 
, because you get to choose the people who have access to your personal life. Plus its the same known drama and stories everywhere, nobody is that interested to know specific details, so people dont usually pick on someone.
Nop, Mona is right, unless you mean the gossip among your extended family its definitely way worse whether you were living with them or not, simply because youre stuck with them forever and they tend to criticize and mock everything -typical arabic family
@Maria
You are so wrong. I live in Bahrain, and from my experience and the experiences of my friends (two of whom married foreign women), when you are living in an Arabic country.. every Arab makes your business his/her business!
Half the time (and this ain’t me, because I simply don’t give a shit) all my friends are worried and paranoid about who “might be watching”. It a never ending struggle to do what we would like to do, while avoiding the evil stares, questions, and ridicule of other Arabs (who, by the way, have plenty of secrets in their own closets)…
I hear nothing but complaints from everyone I know about the complete lack of privacy anywhere. Whether it is a bar, a mall, a cafe, or just someone’s backyard!!!
Mona can cross the street and dive into a crowd of white people when she needs to.. out here… everyone is out to get you.. to be better than you… to judge you.. to mock you.. or simply to glare at you.
@Ahmed Masri
It really depends on where you live. I live in Jordan, I only see what you described when I visit my extended family (usually 1 or 2 times every year), basically everything you say or do becomes the ultimate discussion, of course after twisting it and exaggerating , it really depends on how creative they can be, its their form of entertainment u know.. Its like a competition, as Mona explained, they compare everything, whos good at what, the money they make, the cars they drive, even their childrens school grades, anything and everything is judged and mocked. Even if you were pretty much innocent and stayed away from it, they tend to explain your silence as form of hate, or u are hiding something, i.e you got to participate in their game. If you dont, youll become the one with darkest made-up past and mysteries, who everybody talks about.
Hmmm I can relate to that, I guess they have some form of phobia against anybody whos different, for instance we lead a different lifestyle, live in the capital city, and my mother is Arab but not Jordanian but shes still considered a foreigner , thats why my siblings and I happen to be the black sheep of the family. Recently it became unbearable I havent seen them for over 3 years.
In JO and I believe many Arabic countries in the mashreq region as well , you mostly find such behavior among families, people usually complain about their families or their partners family, mother in law ..etc. Well, basically because in our society, they have the right to interfere in everything, they make it sound that its for protection reasons and the importance of having close family ties..balah blah, nonsense, it just for their curious annoying nature. Naturally when they emigrate, they tend to compensate the loss of this forced connection to ALL of their extended family to all Arabs living nearby. As far as I know , there is huge Arabic population in Toronto and Montreal, so its typical there – same behavior, different victims.
Yeah, definitely, all Arabs are walking secrets, there too many guidelines and boundaries, nobody is that open about whom they really are. Obviously in the Arab world its the survival for the culturists, i.e you just need to give the appearance that you do follow and respect the culture, but you sneakily do break it repeatedly. Its physics, lol, the more the guidelines and the hasher and more suppressing they are, the more they tend to shift away and do whats considered to be our cultural shocks.
@Maria
“Its physics, lol, the more the guidelines and the hasher and more suppressing they are, the more they tend to shift away and do whats considered to be our cultural shocks.”
That is so true. Living in the Gulf region is seeing exactly that everyday. Don’t even get me started on the stories from Saudi.
I am actually really saddened by how backward and narrow-mind our brethren can be. We used to be the world’s most prolific region for philosophers, but now have the most appalling literacy rate of the entire planet.
Where does it come from, I wonder, this need to KNOW everything about those around you.. as if you are the one in an integral part of their lives and most important decisions…
I would love to continue this discussion, but for the sake of Mona’s Blog, I will say that you said it best.