Why no one forced fed me THAT type of advice
I will begin by apologizing for my internet two day departure without officially informing the masses. I don’t know why I did it, except for obviously being incredibly lazy, but I actually had a lot to say. So I have some days planned out for pure negative ranting, and other days to discuss life and ranting. Like today!
My life is very interesting the moment I interact with any human being. Maybe because my interaction with others is very critical to the way I perceive life. I feel like I am from another galaxy, and everyone else is living gleefully on planet earth. Maybe I am over exaggerating, and I know many of you will think I am, because the majority of my readers are not Arabs. And that fact makes me feel like ranting evermore! Evermore? I feel like I am a verse in The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. How the hell did my brain come up with that? That just shows you people that my brain is filled with far too much information about anything.
Anyways, enough of a lame introduction. Last night, I went to a partay with thy mother. It was some Arab chick celebrating her graduation from a community college. So she got a huge partay done for her. You see, that’s when my brain becomes a bit numb, and I wonder what’s wrong with the parents. The economy sucks. Life sucks. However, graduating from a community college will most likely get you a job before a University grad, but still, why waste all that money on hall, food, dress, and yummy desserts? I thought for a minute it was an engagement party or a wedding shower. Nop. It was a grad party!
It’s hilarious when Arab women get together. They go crazy and dress in the most provocative clothes ever! I can’t even mention the rest, because many culturally obsessed Arabs will attack me right this instance. However, I don’t care. Since when did I ever?
So, I refuse to dance or be involved in any Arabic partay, especially if I go to a partay with my mother. Back in the day, when I only went to parties with my friends, I would go crazy. I wouldn’t care. I didn’t need to feel like I am being watched for every critical stupid move I do. So, I refrain from dancing infront of her. I can actually belly dance, and I can actually pretend that I like to bust a move with my Arab peepz to kick ass Arabic music, but not with her watching me. I just feel weird!
Therefore, I just sat there eating Tabbouleh and Humus. My mom is a pure social butterfly, she would hover from table to table talking to other Arab women about …? No clue. So, I was left sitting with my mom’s friend’s daughter, a cute 15 or 16 year old girl. The girl loves to talk. She is 100% the opposite of me. If I ever have a friend like that, I would seriously commit murder that only involves me and a butcher’s knife. The girl didn’t care how old I was, which to the rest of the women sitting there, I looked like another 20 or 21 year old. (I wish) So, this girl, that wouldn’t stop talking, brought up a few interesting points that I wanted to discuss today.
The girl kept talking about her future, and how much she loves school, but also loves to hang out with friends and have a major social life. That’s just her persona. Then, she talked about how she wants to go back home and get a university degree, it is a lot easier, and it is just education and a piece of paper. Purely recognition, that’s it. She then said this, which made me want to punch her or reevaluate my life. She said that she is just a girl. No matter what, she will always be another girl in the eye of society. No matter what she does in life, education wise, work wise, she will end up married, and get bored of working. So she will sit at home. Sometimes she wonders why she is studying, and how far she will go, (she wants to be an engineer), but she will end up being like any other girl. Sitting at home, married to someone who is educated and most likely well off, and that’s it. That’s a typical Arab girl’s life.
[source]
I was sitting there and actually paying attention to this girl, because I didn’t know if I was in shock, or is that exactly how all Arab girls think, and I am the odd one out. Why no one told me that that is a girl’s life? Why did I bust my ass getting a University degree, working for so many years, stressing my self out so much trying to find a job now, and I could have all along taken the easy route out and just got married and sat at home? Why the hell no one told me that?
Oh wait, I knew that. I knew that. I really knew that all along.
So why the hell didn’t I take that route? Maybe because I don’t believe that getting married will solve life’s problems. It actually makes it worse if you don’t plan it right and marry the right person. I never believed that living a life of just another girl sitting at home and pleasing the man is how MY life should be.
I am a very sarcastic person, and I always make someone laugh out of shock. They only laugh because in their heads they would ask them selves, did she just say that? A girl just said that? An Arab girl just said that? Hilarious! That’s me! I am funny in a bad way. I take utter pride and continuous devotion to such a lame sense of humour. That personality of mine is what many Arab guys hate. I am honest in a sarcastic way. Many people suggested that I shouldn’t marry an Arab. However, I disagree. I want to marry an Arab. I want to be culturally intact to this amazing Arabiasm. Being an Arab is kick ass. You should try it! And for those that wonder if I am sticking to Palestinian guy, ummm.. I feel that I should, but I would only go as far as the Levant regions if I had to. That’s about it.
So, I love being an Arab, but I also feel like I am always the odd one out with my thinking. And finding a great sarcastic person who is totally out there and have similar thoughts is mission impossible. I know there is some crazy guy out there who is exactly like me, but he is hiding from me dammit. He is afraid I will find him and ruin his chances of being part of the norm of our Arab society!! Sucks to be him … and me.
Anyways, so this girl at the partay made me feel like I wanted to murder my self, but at the same time, I don’t blame her. She wants to have a life like any other Arab girl. However, I want to have a life of a human being that involves equality, respect, and striving to be someone in society other than a fa2asy (egg layer).
Blah Blah, Culture, Funny, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
Hey there fellow Arab lady. Glad I found your blog. From one rebellious Arab girl to another, you can do whatever YOU want with your life. I wanted to be an actress and my parents were dead set against it, but now I’m doing my own show and acting in films and they have finally come around. It’s our job as smart, sassy, sarcastic Arab women to define for ourselves what that means and stop letting cultural constraints and media stereotypes define us.
@ihearthamas
Actress eh? Very cool! I can’t act. But I can sing!!
Hey mona I totally agree with you being who you are w/out any constraints or restraints.
But I wanted to ask you a question, how you defined a woman’s role (that of being married and devoting yourself to your family & husband) is that only based on culture alone or on religion?
I know that Islam embraces female power and that heaven is below the mothers feet, but isn’t it also implied that we must tend and take care of our husbands? But what is your take on that? and your take on a man having multiple wives?
@Angelica
1. I based the role on both culture and religion.
2. That’s true, I never denied that part. However, many Arab/Muslim females are treated like maids. It still happens.
3. Muslim men who have multiple wives can afford it, and just want multiple women. Back in the day, when Islam was brought to us, it was ok for a man to marry multiple wives for one main reason: there were less men than women at the time, because there were plenty of wars, and many men were dying. To balance things out, a man was allowed up to 4 women to return the balance, ie, have more kids and there were obviously more women. Also, another main reason, is to reduce adultery. That’s about it. Now a days, if a man does have multiple wives, like I said earlier, is due to the fact that he can afford it and balance his life around it. Otherwise, if a guy now a days can find ONE girl, then he did a good job!!
Are you okay with multiple wives?
Raising the number of wives allowed so you can reduce adultery? That’s kind of backwards.
That’s like a president pushing a bill to extend the allowed terms in office. It’s not legal, but he’ll make it legal so he can do it.
@Keith
Umm. who said I agreed with this? It’s religion I am telling you. It is a sin for a man or woman to commit adultery. So why is it backwards if the way to reduce adultery is to marry another girl instead of cheating on the wife and committing a sin? It is kind of hypocritical, but men love women. They want to have more than one woman. So to not commit any sins, a man is allowed up to 4 wives. Most women are not ok with this, till this day a lot of problems occur cuz of this way of thinking and multiple marriages. Usually the first wife asks for divorce, etc. Don’t think in any way I agree with this, but it is legal in Islam.
Also, don’t ever compare politics with religion, you are stepping in the wrong territory when you do. Also, I don’t want anyone to argue with me anymore about this. This is religion, and I am not discussing Islam here. If you don’t understand it, or agree with it, then I don’t care. That is not my problem.
Why is everyone going off topic here?
It was kind of off topic Lol but still somewhat a tad in touch with the situation, and Keith it reduces adultery because its a sin to have sexual relations outside of marriage. Therefore if a man marries another woman, his second wife would be married a virgin and therefore not commit the sin of losing her virginity out of marriage or having a child out of wedlock. I think that the man can *only* marry a second wife with the consent of the first one, without it I don’t believe he can have a second wife.
How does one try being an arab?
@Meyrick Kirby
You can start by saying, “Ahlan wa Sahlan!”
Sounds like a fun party. I like sitting on the sidelines w/ my SO, watching the main action, dancing, etc.
Maybe that girl will change when she gets older and wiser? Who knows?
Interesting story, though. The food sounded great.
I had a friend who’s sister had a high school graduation blow out. My first taste of Indian food. My life was changed!
@Leeroy Glinchy
Indian food is addictively yummy, I might say. However, kind of fatty with too much oils and sauces.
“I never believed that living a life of just another girl sitting at home and pleasing the man is how MY life should be”
I’ll be honest, my first reaction to this idea was ‘yessss…’I don’t know, maybe it’s the way we were raised but then you grow up for a bit in the west and that idea is kind frowned upon…confusing stuff.
But then, hearing from men with such wives, they say it’s better if she has her own life (work etc.) because she will be less focused on you (focused in an annoying way), less nagging etc.
I tried to make my post sound less misogynst, I am telling you, growing up like this is confusing, you have to tread around what you say.
I learned a new word for بلاد الشام I never heard of it till now lol. You’re right your guy is out there, but it’s gonna be a pain trying to find him. I think he will find you through your blog though. Also I was curious to know if you ever plan on wearing a hejab at all during your lifetime? It’s just a question if you don’t know or don’t want to answer it I understand.
@Lela
No. I don’t want to wear hijab.
whaaat?!?! no dancing…are you a stick on a log? do you have two legs? so move em chica!
In Poe’s poem,i believe the word you are looking for is forevermore.
barakat
Tapadh leat!
@Brian
umm.. I don’t care..
@Meyrick Kirby
que pasa?
Good to know. By the way the new picture on your about me page is really pretty.
@Lela
Did knowing really make a difference? Or do you have a general opinion now about me?
Anyways, thanks for liking the pic. New pics will be online in two days!
@Mona
No I was just wondering because I don’t wear it either and I think alot about if I’m going to wear it or not later down the road. So I like to hear other arab muslim girls thoughts about it.
Hey, cool blog. I added you to my blogroll
I feel really bad for girls who WANT a career but end up sidelining it for a home life because they feel they have no other choice. I can see how it happens though, Indian guys my age have an attitude of “I won’t stop her working, as long as the house is tidy, there’s food on the table and the children are raised well”. Girly magazines lie, there is no have-it-all perfect life where you can work a full day in a high flying job then come home to cook/clean/help children with homework and then shimmy into somehting slinky to please your husband then start all over again the next day. So many people start down that path, see their kids aren’t getting enough attention or whatever and quite rightly decide to put them first, but have that nagging feeling of “I gave up so much”.
It’s so so so important to find someone who’ll be a team player, split household chores and take parental responsibilities. Indian men are waaaay behind in this attitude, I’m guessing arabs are as well. Good luck finding someone who’ll treat you as an equal!
I lucked out when I met my husband, because he’s definitely the type of Arab-Muslim guy I never thought existed. He gets my sarcasm, laughs at my jokes and pitches in around the house. We wouldn’t have found each other if we both hadn’t been willing to break away from our respective Arab bubbles and do our own things. Being the odd one out isn’t so bad when you at least know who you are, what you want and more importantly what you don’t want out of life.
You don’t need to apologise to us for being away for a few days and living your own life away from the computer. Nice to see that you’re having a real life.
To people who complain at you for not posting your thoughts, because you do that for yourself and we just benefit from your largesse. Posting a few entries afterwards, well I’m having trouble keeping up with all mine, so few days to breathe is nice – it means I can catch up.
“That personality of mine is what many Arab guys hate. I am honest in a sarcastic way.”
Your not the only one girly…