Comments on: They always ask me this like I know it all http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/ Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values Thu, 18 Mar 2010 13:41:10 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Leeroy Glinchy http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44467 Leeroy Glinchy Mon, 18 May 2009 07:01:25 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44467 I think it really depends on the person. If there are regular people, they can adapt to one another quite well. On the other hand, I am a highly unusual person who wouldn't be happy with just anyone. Plus my folks mess everything else up, I shudder to think who they'd wind up getting me. I really don't think that I could be happy with just anyone. Worse, they are not likely to be happy with me. Not by a long shot. Still, either way: arranged, love, or freedom from marriage, it's all OK, IMHO. I think it really depends on the person. If there are regular people, they can adapt to one another quite well.

On the other hand, I am a highly unusual person who wouldn’t be happy with just anyone. Plus my folks mess everything else up, I shudder to think who they’d wind up getting me. I really don’t think that I could be happy with just anyone. Worse, they are not likely to be happy with me. Not by a long shot.

Still, either way: arranged, love, or freedom from marriage, it’s all OK, IMHO.

]]> By: Mona http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44464 Mona Mon, 18 May 2009 01:18:25 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44464 Great points you guys.. sorry for the late reply though... :neutral: Great points you guys.. sorry for the late reply though… :neutral:

]]> By: Oksana http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44450 Oksana Sun, 17 May 2009 05:58:25 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44450 I never really thought of an arranged marriage. I am a young liberal thinking Ukrainian, not much of a religious or traditional person. Yet,when I grew up, I realized I have nothing against arranged marriage. I found my fiancee in a love-search way. We met at work. However, I believe, I would not mind my parents to search for a nice guy that they know. For a girl, who does not go out that much, it is not easy to find a decent caring guy. We all see lots of brilliant girls ending up lonely because they have not met the right person. So why not try parents to introduce us to some guys? I trust they know my taste, and they will definitely choose a good person, with whom to share a life. Maybe I'm just lucky with my parents, but maybe we over 'demonize' them, and getting introduced to a nice boy, from your parents' recommendation is possibly your way to love. That's my 5 cents to the story :) I never really thought of an arranged marriage. I am a young liberal thinking Ukrainian, not much of a religious or traditional person. Yet,when I grew up, I realized I have nothing against arranged marriage. I found my fiancee in a love-search way. We met at work. However, I believe, I would not mind my parents to search for a nice guy that they know. For a girl, who does not go out that much, it is not easy to find a decent caring guy. We all see lots of brilliant girls ending up lonely because they have not met the right person. So why not try parents to introduce us to some guys? I trust they know my taste, and they will definitely choose a good person, with whom to share a life. Maybe I’m just lucky with my parents, but maybe we over ‘demonize’ them, and getting introduced to a nice boy, from your parents’ recommendation is possibly your way to love. That’s my 5 cents to the story :)

]]> By: The Week’s Stuff - No.1 at Mohammad Badi’s Blog http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44448 The Week’s Stuff - No.1 at Mohammad Badi’s Blog Sat, 16 May 2009 16:33:42 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44448 [...] 4- The Week’s Post : They always ask me this like I know it all [...] [...] 4- The Week’s Post : They always ask me this like I know it all [...]

]]> By: Mohammad Badi http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44447 Mohammad Badi Sat, 16 May 2009 14:33:32 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44447 Well, it's such a complicated topic to discuss in one post, but i noticed this habits and listened to this question many times before especially because i'm living in a country that the old habits are still available. The people here are different, who like to marry through the regular way and others who trying to fall in love before then marry his/her 2nd half, but the both are still hiding their emotions of their families so you can say here in Jordan the majority of people want to marry after having a good time of love. and I'm with this way. :smile: But it's still complicated because it depends on thinking way, habits and regulars of a community. Nice post Mona, i like your posts :up: Well, it’s such a complicated topic to discuss in one post, but i noticed this habits and listened to this question many times before especially because i’m living in a country that the old habits are still available.
The people here are different, who like to marry through the regular way and others who trying to fall in love before then marry his/her 2nd half, but the both are still hiding their emotions of their families so you can say here in Jordan the majority of people want to marry after having a good time of love. and I’m with this way. :smile:
But it’s still complicated because it depends on thinking way, habits and regulars of a community.
Nice post Mona, i like your posts :up:

]]> By: Ahmad http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44441 Ahmad Sat, 16 May 2009 09:04:40 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44441 I used to read in magazines that arranged marriage has less divorce than other type , i don't know how they got it, anyway arranged marriage isn't something that is forced by religion, it has always related to people how they want their sons and daughters getting married, but in the end it all realted to the two who got married will they workout their differences or end up divorced I used to read in magazines that arranged marriage has less divorce than other type , i don’t know how they got it, anyway arranged marriage isn’t something that is forced by religion, it has always related to people how they want their sons and daughters getting married, but in the end it all realted to the two who got married will they workout their differences or end up divorced

]]> By: They always ask me this like I know it all | Randomblog blog http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44440 They always ask me this like I know it all | Randomblog blog Sat, 16 May 2009 07:27:50 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44440 [...] They always ask me this like I know it all Posted by admin on May 16, 2009 random I should be the last person on earth to be asked this question, but people always message me asking, “what is your take on arranged marriages in Islam?” All I can say, it still happens… [...] [...] They always ask me this like I know it all Posted by admin on May 16, 2009 random I should be the last person on earth to be asked this question, but people always message me asking, “what is your take on arranged marriages in Islam?” All I can say, it still happens… [...]

]]> By: Sentir http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44438 Sentir Sat, 16 May 2009 03:39:03 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44438 Hmm, I don't think the phrase "God does not forgive such actions" is accurate, no religious debate or anything, but maybe tolerate or accept is the correct word... Anyway, I had this argument before and it's an interesting one. About the divorce rates, something to keep in mind is that in arranged marriage societies, divorce is frowned upon and people end up being caged in the marriage, whereas it's easier in 'open' socities. Still, I find divorce rates in non-arranged marriages really high (around the world.) I don't know what the justification is, but all I keep in the back of mind is to have a good lawyer or get familiar with marital law before you get married. Hmm, I don’t think the phrase “God does not forgive such actions” is accurate, no religious debate or anything, but maybe tolerate or accept is the correct word…

Anyway, I had this argument before and it’s an interesting one. About the divorce rates, something to keep in mind is that in arranged marriage societies, divorce is frowned upon and people end up being caged in the marriage, whereas it’s easier in ‘open’ socities.

Still, I find divorce rates in non-arranged marriages really high (around the world.) I don’t know what the justification is, but all I keep in the back of mind is to have a good lawyer or get familiar with marital law before you get married.

]]> By: Professor Mikey http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/2009/05/15/they-always-ask-me-this-like-i-know-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-44435 Professor Mikey Sat, 16 May 2009 02:50:16 +0000 http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=6775#comment-44435 The other day I was listening to NPR and they had a story about a man and woman who had been arranged in marriage. Something happened early in the marriage to cause the woman to plan divorce once kids went to school & she did to the shock of everyone. Yet, her loneliness and pain did not change without him & they ended up getting back together out of love 2 years later, started dating and married again out of love, it was a really interesting story about love & how the arranged marriage brought love & it wasn't until after they divorced did they realize it. Sorry for the longer than usual comment, just wanted to share that as I tend to agree with you that how people find their life partner does not determine how successful the marriage will be or how much love will be present. The other day I was listening to NPR and they had a story about a man and woman who had been arranged in marriage. Something happened early in the marriage to cause the woman to plan divorce once kids went to school & she did to the shock of everyone. Yet, her loneliness and pain did not change without him & they ended up getting back together out of love 2 years later, started dating and married again out of love, it was a really interesting story about love & how the arranged marriage brought love & it wasn’t until after they divorced did they realize it.

Sorry for the longer than usual comment, just wanted to share that as I tend to agree with you that how people find their life partner does not determine how successful the marriage will be or how much love will be present.

]]>