It’s the never ending ranting post

When you got nothing to do, and you don’t want to do anything anyways, because life sucks and you are soaking in your seat waiting for a miracle from God, then you don’t need someone breathing down your neck AT ALL!

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I have tried really hard to ignore people so they would stop bugging me. However, I can’t escape from the MOTHER! My Lord, I don’t understand why I have to keep putting up with her. I swear, at this rate, I am glad I am not married or being a mother. My kids will HATE me. They will seriously hate my guts if I acted like a typical Arabic mother, like my mother. I swear, it is a curse, I will end up like her. Everything rubs off. Like mother like daughter they say. Yet, maybe I have this little ounce of consideration and understanding of people’s lives that will make me just a tad bit different than her!

I don’t talk. If I was able to talk, I would explode right now. I would have so much shit to say to both my parents, that I would seriously forget how to speak Arabic, and start ranting in English like I do on my site. I wish at times I can just tell them exactly how I feel and tell them it is ALL YOUR FAULT! Leave me be miserable in my own little world that was a result of YOU! However, no. I can’t do that. I was born with this little guilt like life, raised to respect my elders, not talk about anything that will piss them off, and keep suffering from the inside.

THAT IS NO REASON TO KEEP KILLING ME!

I was watching The Rachel Ray show this afternoon, and I was laying down on my Lay-Z boy chair. The thing is amazing. Probably the best thing anyone can ever give me. I want my great great 1000 years from now grand-kids to inherit this thing. So, I was just laying on it and watching TV, because I got nothing else to do with my life. I have no energy or care anymore to do anything with my life. What’s the point? Work, put money in the bank, and look at it. Is that a life? No. So I will stick to laying down and doing nothing.

So, she comes to the door of my little office and tells me this:

Mother: “Is this your life now? Just laying down and watching TV?”

Me: “Yes. What do you want me to do now?”

Mother: “Don’t sit, do something.”

I gave her a dirty unsatisfied look and rolled my eyes.

Mother: “I saw you giving me that look. Am I not allowed to talk now? Is this how your life is?”

I fumed and increased my decibels.

Me: “I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? IS THERE SOMETHING TO DO? TELL ME!”

Mother got angry now.

Mother: “There is no point in talking to you anymore. Just stay there and do nothing.”

I didn’t understand what she wanted me to do. What was her plan? She is already ashamed of me because I don’t have a job. What will she tell her friends? Mona does not work? OH NO! I don’t even get out of the house till late afternoon so her friends won’t accidentally see me outside in the mall or walking in the neighbourhood and thinking, “OH MY GOD! MONA IS NOT WORKING!!”

Do Arabs have nothing better to do than pin point each other out and ask why why why?

Is it wrong to not work? It used to be or still is this bad thing that an Arabic girl who is 28 and beyond expiry date to not be married, but not having a JOB? Now that’s putting shame on the entire family!

That’s the modern way of Arab thinking.

And people even dare ask me how I have a Computer Science degree, have 6 years of experience, and can’t get a job with all THAT. My only answer, hmm, “I am a girl. I look young. I don’t look like a nerd, in fact, I look like someone who should be working in something more girly like HR, or banks.” So do you think anyone would take me seriously with the way I look in this money hungry world that is going through a recession? Even if I show them all the work I have done in the past, sugar coat everything I say, try to sell my self, and over exaggerate how awesome I am, no one will care! I am not joking here people, I am considering really hard many many options, but they will cost me money. I am thinking of going back to University and doing another degree. But I don’t know if I want to be 31/32 years old when I graduate from the second one. That’s a big commitment. Also, I don’t think I have the will power to go back and listen to boring lectures from professors who are there because they are forced to, so they can continue getting grant money to do their research and publish papers.

I publish EVERY DAY! I should have earned my PhD in ranting by now!

Moreover, I asked a bunch of Arabic girls a couple of days ago on Facebook and Twitter, what is their biggest problem being an Arab? The most common theme was, “I AM AN ARAB GIRL! ARAB SOCIETY, ESPECIALLY MY PARENTS, NEED TO LEAVE ME ALONE TO DO WHAT I WANT! I am NOT doing anything WRONG! What’s wrong if I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES and LIVE MY OWN LIFE! WHY they DON’T have any TRUST in me?”

They have no trust in us, and treat us like we are a shame on the family if we are not married or working or whatever shit they come up with to “raise their heads high” with us. I think and I am 100% sure that they treat us this way because they doubt THEIR WAYS of raising their OWN kids!

Arabs say, “now how polite and nice that girl is, she was raised well.”

Arabs say, “oh, she is not married. She is not working. She is not … whatever , then it must be her parent’s fault and HERS too, because she was raised this way.”

Do you see now my problem? I know many people have been messaging me and emailing me, and I apologize for not responding, but what do you want me to say more than what I say on this blog? BEING AN ARAB SOMETIMES SUCKS!

And my mother came back again while I was writing this post and saying, why don’t you go outside  and walk for a bit? I told her, I DO EVERY DAY! FOR OVER AN HOUR!” She said, “you are only walking in a mall. That’s not walking.”

??? Can someone shoot me now and end my misery. Please?

Angry, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!