Sometimes we need to be blunt
I want to tell people, especially Arab guys, that it is ok for a girl to be tough, to have her own opinions, and to be honest. I am that way, and I chose to be that way, and I have nothing to hide. The problem is, this mentality that Arab society has with the differentiation of males and females, especially in North America.
So, I straight up and tell a guy everything. If he doesn’t like me for being me, then forget him. I got nothing to hide. I have nothing to be fearful of. I never did anything bad in my life. Yet, when it comes to Arabs, they think the older you are, more than 20, then you had more time to do everything bad in the book. Yet, when it comes to the males, they could have done everything horrible in life, but when it comes to marriage, they want the perfect innocent girl. The younger, the better, and less “worldly experiences” that she has gone through.
Why is that?
It’s funny the way people portray us Arabs, and especially Muslims. The majority of people, especially in this global village that we live in, are aware of all the religious customs, cultural traditions, etc. So, when a non-Arab or non-Muslim guy asks me, “why don’t you drink?” I say, “because it is a sin, and we are not supposed to.” Then the guy replies, “well, why does this XXXXX (Arab/Muslim) guy/girl does it?”
How do you expect me to respond to that?
I think at times I am trying really hard to protect my self, because of the image that others have made of us in this society. That’s why a lot of people don’t respect Arabs or Muslims. We are either called extremist or white/black wannabes. Is this right? Why should I have to keep justifying this and that person’s action? It got to the point of no trust between Arabs themselves. The image has been ruined because of all the crap that many do. Yet, somehow the good people that are trying so hard to make a better image for themselves, are always ridiculed and pushed back because of their age and gender, and what is being heard from everyone else’s stupid actions.
I want to clarify that image. I am trying so hard to tell people, “Listen, I made this site to tell Arabs that what they are doing is wrong. Also, I want to portray to the rest of the world, especially Arabs that many of us Arab girls are good. We are good people that come from good families and are raised well. Don’t judge us because of someone else’s actions and age. The older we are, the smarter we are in handling life. Is that such a bad thing? Really?”
Angry, Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!
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While I totally get you and understand your frustration, mind you this problem actually exits in most of our other Muslim societies as well. So while you addressed your point from your personal experience it applies not just to Arab guys but others from the Southeast Asian to the Turks. I am a guy btw so I know how the general mentality seems to be among them.
Now I wouldn’t wanna attack you personally, however, I just had a hard time swallowing this statement of yours, “I never did anything bad in my life”. I mean that seems a bit of a stretch since I guess even I could point out 1 major and 1 minor sin you do/have done.
Unless the arab/muslim societies dont change their prejudices towards girls and women in general, this kind of thing will continue.
There are Arabs that are *NOT* Muslim.
I know a lot of catholic Arabs that drink
and go clubbing and what not.
Race doesn’t necessarily equal religion.
i have alot i can say n alot i think about this but i am not arab n i just feel bad talking about other people that i am not a part of u know what i mean but i am muslim n proud of it but never the less i am shutting up on this 1 lol but its a really good subject mona n dont change 4 any1 i really wish there were more arab girls like you
hahah but i gotta say what do u have if u dont have or cant express yr own opinion who am i 2 say or any other man that a girl cant do this or cant do that when i marry(god willing)n a arab woman 2 (i hope but only god knows this)caz i just lovee them lol well god knows who i love n she is arab but anyway i said i was going 2 not talk about this lol keep up the good work mona
I really like this post Mona, you expressed yourself very eloquently.
I have no problem with people who are religious so don’t drink etc. I have no problem who don’t actually believe so chose to ignore that lifestyle. I just hate that the latter then suddenly decides THEY can mess about but want a good pure girl. What? Hypocrites. You can’t pick and chose parts of your religion. If you want to drink/have premarital sex you should give up calling yourself a muslim.
It’s sad when the bad ones are the ones that all of a certain society will be judged on them, if a Muslim drinks and i hate it when they do then why don’t all Muslims drink, your answer to those who ask you is because he doesn’t respect his religion he just says he is Muslim while he doesn’t know his own religion and it’s great to Have Arab girls like you those who are smart, knows whets best for them and respect their religion not like the stupid ones i see once she start to work or go to college then she will try to do all of the seven sins just to show that i am dependant and this applies to guys too not just women
@iAmbiguous
And those sins are my friend that I don’t even know in real life or even talked to at all?
@Amira
I was talking about Muslims. Not all Arabs. I even said Muslims!
This is the post set us thinking.
Yes, there are many good Arab girls in this world.
We do our best to be good girls or men, lead the meaningful life. Yes, do not affected by others” wrong deeds.
Nice post I enjoy reading.
It’s true. I have a family member who used to talk to alot of girls and stay out at night. When he was ready to get engaged he asked for this one girl. People started saying she was seen talking to a guy once and my family member said no way he was going to marry her now. He went and got engaged to a 16 year old girl and he was 30. He said the same thing, that she is much younger she hasn’t had time to talk to guys also because she dropped out in the 6th grade. I have herad of some people wanting them younger so the guy can raise his wife to be what he wants. That is really disturbing. It is haram for both genders but the girl gets the bad image even if it was just friendly and the guy is ok if it’s much more than friends and people are still willing to give those guys their daughters. Pretty messed up huh?
@Mona
That is besides the point. The purpose of my comment about the sins was not to expand on them but rather that considering how smart you are mashAllah (and no, I ain’t being sarcastic), it wouldn’t be the wisest thing to claim that one has “never” done anything wrong.
Because a statement as such itself is your very first mistake then (unless your intention was merely to emphasize through exaggeration, in which case it would make some sense).
A more plausible approach would have been to claim that, yes you do have your flaws and you have done bad (just like we all have) but you accept your mistakes and you are ready to try and avoid making them again. Sounds more… realistic shall we say?
@iAmbiguous
I love it how people like you contradict your selves. You said you can point out 1 major or 1 minor sin that I have done. Come on, point them out instead of giving me a philosophical life lecture.
I went through the same exact thing! Once this guy asked me why I don’t date, and I told him, because of my religion, and then he was like “well XXXX is a Muslim, and she got a boyfriend”, and that put me in a knot obviously >:[
btw, have you ever seen a family that has a boy and a girl, but the girl is like super religious, while the boy has a secret girlfriend, drinks, parties. SO ANNOYING. I hate my race because of that. Guys should be treated the same way. I make sure that doesn’t happen with my brother. That’s why I control him. muahahaha.
@Ima
Yep.. that’s common too. It’s called hypocrisy!