The invisible barrier
As the years pass by, we seem to grow up mentality and physically. For many of us, the melanocyte stem cells seem to die a lot quicker than others. Sucks to be us sometimes. Fortunately, our perception of the world in this era that we live in has completely changed. We know too much. All forms of media, especially TV and Internet, has really changed our perception and understanding of life. I think we are way smarter and knowledgeable of various potential scenarios of life than people did over 20 years ago.

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However, no matter how those factors play in our daily lives, some of us still suffer from people leaving us out, or pointing out that we “didn’t go through it,” or “not experienced with it hands on.” Is that a reason to ignore us, or tell us that you don’t want our point of view, or is even considered a point of view?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about everyone’s advice to me from the Internet. I appreciate advice, and I really like it when people try to understand and put them selves in my shoes. That is great, but only if they did it with well thought of understanding and good intentions.
I am different and I perceive life differently than many people. I always try really hard to put my self in someone’s shoes just once. I try really hard to understand what a person is going through and why. I try really hard to picture various outcomes from a situation. I try really hard to know everything about various situations that I could possibly be in down the road.
I am a knowledge addict. I try to gain as much knowledge as I can from the world around me. If something strikes my head, I will just look it up and understand it even more. If I can’t, I read what others are saying about it. I read people’s experiences and their perception of the situation, especially through blogs. I don’t want to be “left out” or “ignored” from a conversation. Although people that know me personally know that I don’t talk or converse in a group situation, but they know I am a deep listener. However, in one to one situations, I am very outspoken and I got an opinion to everything. Even if that opinion does not interest me, or I have never experienced it in my entire life, it does not mean I know nothing about it.
Sometimes when I am conversing with my mother about how older generation Arabs are, she shockingly asks me, “How do you know how most Arabs think? Have you been hanging out with people my age? You know too much for a person that does not interact with many Arabs or many people at all.” When she tells me that, I laugh. I don’t even know where to begin explaining to her that I know too much, because I utilize the new media to my advantage. It’s out there, then why not use it to try to understand everything around me?

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What am I trying to really get at you might ask? Well, I feel that many people have ignored me or put me down during many conversations about life or whatever, because to them I am just a 28 year old loser that didn’t go through what they are going through. I don’t have the proper experience, or none at all. I will list some scenarios:
1. Marriage
Although I discuss marriage on my blog, and I am not married, people have messaged me telling me that I know it so well, like a person who is already married. Why? Simple. I know enough from learning about it. I can picture it. I have this God given intellect to picture a situation, understand it with the best of my ability, and know how to deal with it when the time comes.
2. Wedding & Engagement Preparations
I was never engaged or married. However, I know everything about preparing for one. It is actually a good thing, because I know what to avoid and what I like. Because I never experienced it, does not mean I cannot do it on my own, or discuss it as a knowledgeable person in that area.
3. Raising Children
I know you may ask, how the hell you would go that far if you are not even married? Well, simple. I maybe a very fortunate person in that area. I am 14.5 years older than my sister. I saw how my sister was raised. I was old enough to understand it, and I learned from it. My brother, when he used to live here with his wife, I saw how a baby was born and taken care of at an even older age. I understand the steps. I know what to avoid in the future if I ever want kids. I know how to raise them in this rapidly moving world. I know how a mother must act and why for the sake of the child. I understand it, because I was surrounded by it all the time.
4. Different Work Environments
This is the one thing that pisses me off in this world that we live in, especially in the Information Technology world. I cannot get a job beyond what I used to do or even close to what I did, because I was not in the same environment as another company might be in. That makes no sense, but I understand why hiring managers would think that. 99% of the people that interviewed me have not studied Computer Science or Software Engineering. Yet, they are the managers for IT. Don’t even get me started on that unfair bull shit. The reason they say I have limited skills or experience, because they don’t understand the way a Computer Scientist thinks.
If you have been reading carefully this post, and trying to understand the hidden meaning behind it, then you would know why I think the way that I do. Most Computer Science graduates would relate to my thinking, because that is the way they were trained to think. Yes, we are trained to think in an analytical way. We are trained to think of various situations, picture our selves in it, plan them, come up with every possible test case, and don’t deliver the final product until everything is fully developed to specification. Sounds nerdy I know! I know you are asking your self, why the hell no one is hiring you? I told you of the unfairness, and you also got to think like me, to understand all the potentials that I can possibly offer, no matter what I have experienced already. My brain is very analytical, and it is like that with all Technology professionals.
This is the way we view life, and every possible situation that we could be in.
In conclusion, people out there need to understand that because I am my age, and have not experienced or is experiencing the same life situations as someone else, does not mean I know nothing about it. Telling me, “oh you don’t know anything about it, forget it,” really pisses me off. It makes me beyond angry. You are undermining my intellect. If I don’t know something, I will say it. I am not ashamed of not knowing something, but I am smart enough to find an answer. I am smart enough to picture my self in it.
Why do people place this invisible barrier with people like me?
Angry, Blah Blah, Confused, Ranting as usual!, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!




What’s with the clowns?
@mo
Those are mimes. Not clowns. I used them as a metaphor, because mimes imitate a situation.
You do know, that a “mime” is s terrible thing to waste….
@goddamnathiest
Hahahaha.. I guess!
I totally understnad. It’s happened to me many times. Just because we haven’t experience certain things doesn’t mean we have no clue what we’re talking about when the subject comes up.
Mona, people are stereotyped, and they used to be judgemental on all ther others but themselves and this is -unfortunately- rooted in our mentalities regardless the religion. I hate generalising but at least many people are just like that because they want all the others to follow the mainstream.
As for the older generation, I respect them and respect everybody, but unfortunately they didn’t used to live in our ‘open-source-informational- era’ so they cann’t cope with us in but we should be patient with them. On the other hand, if they are parents, they just see us as their children whether we are approaching 30s or passing it so let it go; they are parents.
Mona, it’s true – the modern day technology makes it easier to cross geographic and cultural boundaries. Plus, having a wide audience makes you more aware of different situations. We all learn from each other, and that’s one of the biggest highlights of electronic age. If only we bother to listen, we can learn lots about life in general
P.S. I enjoyed the music on your FM station while reading your post :up:
@JouJou
Thanks for liking my Blip.fm station. I am a DJ!! Wohoo.. and I try to update it with any cool songs that I like. I got a pretty eccentric taste.
Like you I may know about things that I have not experienced but once I have experienced it is still never quite what I had expected. There is nothing like experiencing the real thing rather than just reading about it or observing others. There are some things in life I would rather not experience and other things I wish I could experience because it looks interesting or wonderful. Boy I am getting all philosophical here!
@Sapphire
I understand that it feels a lot different when we experience things first hand, but we can still be part of imagining it first. We have the intellect to picture our selves in that situation, and take part in discussing it. Nothing wrong with that.
Another great post.
I had similar problems, I still do. People don’t take me seriously.
At this point, it bothers me less because I have given up trying to help people. If someone asks, I’ll help them. But I don’t really get involved too much anymore unless people want me there. And if they don’t act like they want me there, I leave.
I’m not unhappy with this situation as I realize this is how people are; they don’t really want help except in rare cases. I live for the rare times when I actually can be of use to people.
your intellectual property is stimulating and i adore it. :up:
to put yourself in others shoes is a gift. when i lived in Prague i did this many times and always came to an epiphany of some sort.
When i was overseas i felt alienated from an environment that i became used to. because i was able to put myself in anothers’ shoes i think i made a lot more friends and was able to picture myself at their level and not from sitting on a horse and looking down at them.
you’ve thought about all the -in the box- situations. now challenge your mind further. think of what it might be like to own your own island and be some big exec at a software company….picture the sand between your toes and the distant sounds of the gulls as the sun sets on another day. if you can picture yourself outside of the box; i would be humbled.