Searching for that long lost relative
This morning, my mother came up to my blog-office (yes that is the name of it now), and she was all giddy. She excitedly said, “look up my last name on the internet. My cousin’s daughter, 28 like you, first name like her grandmother’s, has a picture online, and looks like YOU Mona!”
[source]
You may wonder why in the world my mother would be on the internet. You see, my household is your typical home. My mother has her own computer in the basement, my dad has a computer, and my sister has a computer. Each person has a computer! However, I have a kick ass desktop, a wickedly awesome laptop, cell phone with 3G internet networking, and an office! I am fully loaded eh?
So, my mom only knows two things:
1. Internet Explorer.
2. Yahoo.com
I know! So old school! But hey, better than nothing.
Us searching for that relative
I did what she wanted, and searched for her last name on Google. Both my mom’s family and my dad’s family are very Palestinian. Meaning, both their surnames are very well known to be found in certain regions. Therefore, we make an assumption that a person born with the same last name is related to us, and not many of us are online! I told her, “what link did you click on? A Facebook public profile?” She said, “no, what is this? Google? No, I didn’t use Google.” I then nodded my head and gave mom a dissatisfied look, and went to the address bar and typed Yahoo.com to use it for searching. She then looked at the search results, and she said, “That one!”
It was a Plurk profile, and I saw the picture. I angrily said, “mom! She looks nothing like me!” She said, “no no, she does!” I said, “NO! God! She looks like no one! I look like no one! Why do you insist? Because she is related to us?”
What happened this morning reminded me of another event that happened two or three years ago.
Them searching for us
One day, out of the blue, I got an email to my work address, because my about me work profile is online, from a guy with the same French spelling of my last name. Yes, there is a British spelling, (my current distant cousins living in Jordan spell it that way), and French spelling, or how Lebanese would spell it. However, the first name threw me off. The name was Elias, a biblical name. I thought I entered the Twilight Zone or something when I saw it. I got a cousin with a hardcore Biblical name? Interesting.
I read the email, and he thought I was his cousin Mona, the daughter of his uncle George, who fled from Australia, and is hiding somewhere in North America.
I know, totally bazaar!
I emailed back and told him, “you must be mistaken. I am not who you think I am. Are you Palestinian like me? My parents are born in Lebanon though, and I am Muslim.”
The dude had a serious problem with what I said. He emailed back saying, “How dare you deny your roots and religion! Our family is Lebanese and Maronite Christian. Why are you lying to me? Are my uncle and you afraid to be found?” Blah blah blah.
WOW! The confusion! After that day, we realized that our last name is shared by a Lebanese Christian family. Very interesting. 
Just remember, your last name may not be yours only!
Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Palestine, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!
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Interesting story. My family is from Palestine, actually Haifa from my dad’s side and Al-Quds from my mum’s side. Anyway, my family name is a VERY VERY popular Christian last name in the Middle East. My dad and both brothers’ names are soooo popular in Lebanon that when you call out their names, at least 7 people answer you immediately. So I get asked if I’m related to So-and-so from Blah-and-blah. I got to the point where I reply “ohhh yeah… He’s my distant cousin. Can I get a free drink now? kthxbai!”
But my mum’s maiden name is Christian, but you can find people who are Muslims with that name. She met some. But they’re from a town in Jordan. So they’re not related.
Why am I still ranting? No clue.
@Liane
You are also Palestinian from Lebanon?
Well, my situation is weird. I’m Palestinian born and raised in Jordan, same as my parents. But we have a Lebanese passport.. if we want to. It’s just my last name is very popular. We have family living in lebanon from both sides. My family is from all over, like my paternal grandfather was born in Alexandria, and the other one was born in Haiti. Both of my grandmothers were born in Jerusalem. And then they all immigrated to Jordan and lived happily ever after, then I was born, got sent to Canada for University, and never came back. All in all, I consider myself Palestinian first before anything else. Except, I don’t talk to any arabs here in Halifax. Too much drama, you know?
@Liane
Wow, you are just a typical Palestinian. Your family and your life story is all over the place. *hand shake* Marhabteen my sista!
Ahleen feeki my sista! I am a typical Palestinian.. I even have a Haifawi accent, and I’ve never lived there. Funny thing is.. I’m the only one in my family with one, not even my parents have it!
Names are so weird. My last name is unusual enough that I suspect every family in North America of that name are related in one way or another. I’ve only heard of two other people who have it who aren’t in my immediate family. And they both spell it the modern English way, whereas my family uses the old English spelling. I guess I have the opposite problem Liane has. Nobody even knows how to pronounce my last name. And it’s an ENGLISH name, and I live in the US lol.
I used to work with an Egyptian Christian named Elias but that was his last name.
This is a very funny story. Great conclusion! Way to go!
lol I could never think that. My maiden name is VERY common. My married name is not as common but still….common enough.
My dad’s family are from a village in India where they don’t use a surname system, you use your given name with your dad’s and grandad’s initials to seperate you from everyone else. I’d be V.G Nithya for example. But since that won’t work when you’re applying for a UK passport him and his new bride had to make up a surname so like cool people chose Devdas cos it’s their favourite guy from their favourite movie
But that name’s a)hindu (we’re christian) b)northern (we’re from the south)c)has religous caste implications (we’re fishermen). So people think they know us, but they haven’t a clue! Well, that’s the cool way of looking at it. The other is “dad, what were you thinking, you picked a ridiculously unsuitable surname”.
@Nithya
Really? That’s interesting to know about Indian surnames. I always wondered why so many Indians have the same last name, but are not related at all. Not even speak the same language sometimes.
I don’t know if I ever want to change my last name. I think it kicks ass. I know some Arabs here that legally changed their first and last names so they can “fit in” better to this society. Can we say, “traitors to their ancestry!!”
@Mona
I don’t think it’s just Arabs, I have seen a lot of Asian who change their names legally when they obtain their citizenship but I think they mostly change it because it’s hard for American fellows to pronounce it right but still, that is not a good reason. However, I want to switch my middle name and last name so my first name can be next to my middle name. I just don’t like how the middle is not important at all. Maybe because their middle name is really not their dad’s name.
My last name is a common old English last name but that side of the family came from Ireland originally. Growing up I used to be teased about my last name same thing happen to my dad as well when he was growing up. The weird thing is there were kids I went to school with way funnier English last names that weren’t teased about them. Mmmmm could it be because they were the ones doing the teasing! It was their way deflecting from their funny last names.
I honestly don’t think my last name was at all that funny. Many people from different backgrounds have thought my last name was cool sounding. Go figure.
Yep last names and where they come from are an interesting topic. Some people that convert to another religion go and change their first and last names. I could never figure out that one. I think a family last name comes with a unique history that tells a story about you family history. Why would anybody change that just because they convert to another religion?
@Sapphire
I don’t know about other religions but when people revert to Islam, they can keep their names but they choose to change for different reasons. Maybe they want to be recognized as Muslims or maybe the name they have chosen is a name in the Quran or the Sunnah that inspired them to find Islam. For example, Yusuf Islam became a Muslims after reading a chapter in the Quran called Yusuf (Joseph). All I know is that the prophet’s companions kept their names so its ok for them keep them. I hope their understand that.
@Somali_Girl I’m really enjoying reading these comments and posts. I’m learning a lot, and so glad to have “accidently” clicked over!
On the topic of simplifying/changing one’s last name when coming to the USA, I know that, historically, a decent percentage of people who immigrated to the US (that’s everyone but Native Americans) have altered their last names to make fitting in easier. Even Irish, Polish, Russians, etc. Although, truth be told, some of the changing happened not by the family’s own choice: at Ellis Island the people checking in new immigrants sometimes did the changing, saying something like “Rumplestillskinski? Your last name’s Rumplestillskinski? Nobody will ever be able to pronounce that and you’ll never get a job. From now on your last name is Rumple.” Rumple was written on the documentation and that was that. There’s a story of a famous designer of clothing for country-western singers who came from Russia with the name Nutya Kotlyrenko. Guess what name they gave him when he got here? Nudie Cohn. Can you imagine… going through life as Nudie? Here’s his info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudie_Cohn
Whatever anyone’s name is, the most important thing is that the person it belongs to loves and respects it. That is everything.
@P.L. Frederick
Wow.. interesting story. Thanks for sharing.
“has religous caste implications (we’re fishermen)”
That’s a great story!!!!
Mona – I am glad I am not the only one associating Elias with the bible! A very dear girlfriend from a very conservative Gulf country had a child one year ago. When before giving birth she told me the name I did not know what to say. I was kind of “that’s one of the prophets.. but like – a Jewish prophet, right?” – “Yeees, back then..” She pronounces it the Arab way, Elyas.. it sounds nice but I could not help think this was an interesting name choice for a very devout Muslim family. it IS a beautiful name, and I think it is great to step outside the box.. and also beautiful to go back to common heritage in these times of confrontation rather than peaceful coexistence.. I was just very very surprised with the choice.
To me, too, it would have been a Jewish or Christian Arab name. Not so much a typical Muslim name. I felt a bit stupid over asking this, so I am glad I am not the only one who had this in mind
@Mona
plus my new name would mean NOTHING, it’s just an empty lable. Your name’s a gift from your parents and you should respect its link to your heritage.
Yeah, it’s all complicated, it varies by region and language and religion. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_name has all the lists if you’d care to take a look, I’m Tamil which is why we have the bizarre initials thingy. Also, I think it’s a shame when people change their names. I know Indians for sure put a lot of thought about the meaning of a name before giving it to a kid. My name means ‘eternal’ which is lucky in a long-life way and also imprlies someone solid and trustworthy. If I was to change it to Nicola or something all their weeks of arguing with each other would be wasted
That is funny. You can actually go to a U.S.A. census database and see how many people inthe U.S. have your exact name – one other person had my name, though I live in Canada. Other countries may have similar census forms on the web. They are pretty neat too
Hmmm, I’ve never thought of a last name being a certain religion nor did I think my immediate family “owned” a certain last name. Interesting story about the guy who contacted you.