Short memory?
Why the hell did I write this post a couple of days ago, and I was all excited and happy? Why does everything seem so yesterday or not satisfactory enough for the MOTHER! My God! Another angry post peepz! I am warning you!
Time: 12:30 pm
Location: Kitchen
Witnesses: No persons but a loud echo for the world to hear
Short memory: Only my mother
I was asked a couple of days ago I think on Twitter from @lela2000 if I was going to Lebanon this summer. I told her I wasn’t. Today, out of curiosity, I told my mom, “I want to go to Lebanon. It has been over 18 years since I stepped foot there, and I think the family is a bit unhappy with that.”
Mom nagging, “You what? Aren’t you ever going to look for work? Why can’t you find work? How come all those Arab girls have full time jobs and get paid so much?”
In my head, I wanted to commit murder that involved me and a butcher’s knife. I couldn’t hold my anger anymore.
I shouted, “I have money. I have so much money! I don’t need to keep making thousands of dollars a month to look at it. I want to enjoy my life! I am tired! There is a whole entire world out there. And stop comparing me to the shit Arabs that you know. Yes, they are pure shit, and I am sick and tired of you comparing me to them! I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!”
Mom screamed back, “I am not comparing you to anyone! But seriously, why do they have jobs and living a better life?!”
Wow wow wow.. now she pushed it!
I screamed back even more, “My life is fine! I hate being compared to people here. That’s the main problem between you and me. You keep comparing me to other people! They are pretty, they are skinny, they are married, they have jobs, they have children, they buy homes, blah blah blah! If I had a chance, I would leave this stupid city! Arab women that you know are uneducated liars who only care about making them selves seem perfect infront of everyone else. Stop believing every word they say! What do you want from me? I am educated! I worked for so many years! I have money! What do you want? Why should I kill my self to get any shitty stupid job to make you look good infront of those ARABS!”
She didn’t have a reason for work except that all my money will soon be gone. Although I told her that if I wasn’t making any money online, but paying stupid monthly bills, I can live off my money for over 3 years!
Mom screamed back even more and more, “That means you hate me also because I am friends with these Arabs. Who do you think you are? You are an Arab!”
I said firmly, “I am not a backwards Arab!”
Mom left, then dad came to see why mom and I were arguing. “What’s wrong?” he said.
I told him exactly what happened, and how I make money online and I want to go see the family I have! What am I waiting for? To get a 9-5 job or die not seeing blood relatives? Why do I have to be stuck in this country? I am Canadian! I can go anywhere in this world! (Well, mostly everywhere.)
My dad said, “Go to Lebanon. Don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about all those Arabs here. When you were working for 6.5 years, how many of those Arabs were working? None of them. Or is it just a new trend this job thing during an economic crisis? How come ALL of them have jobs now or getting paid so much?”
Announcement: Middle East! The Rebellious Arab Girl is coming to you soon after almost 17 years apart! Meet me at Beirut Airport sometime after Ramadan 2009! That’s in the end of September or early October. I will also swing by Syria to visit the awesomeness of the old city, Damascus. Middle east… oh back home.. the blogging and photos from there will kick ass!
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I don’t know if I should cheer for your trip or say it’s okay, your mom may eventually get you (or not). Don’t let your own short memory stop you from going, go through with it & have a great time
Can’t wait to see the pictures.
I think this is a huge exaggeration – nobody is getting paid too much nowadays, expenses are only increasing
People only show off when they are insecure about these things. The most important thing is that you are happy where you are – being independent and writing your own blog!
I totally support you to travel and see things outside of your comfort zone. Who knows, you may meet an interesting person who is like yourself – a traveling rebellious Arab
Actually, this is the time we should travel the most – when we don’t have kids, not tied with mortgage payments, etc. Otherwise, when is the right time?
Another awesome thing, you can take a cab from Beirut, and you are in Syria within an hour, another couple of hours – you are in Jordan. And all countries are beautiful!!!!! At least try and visit Damascus, Petra and Beirut (obviously. I am just trying to give you my travel bug, that’s all. Is it spreading yet?
@JouJou
Spread spread like cream cheese on my toast! Yumm!
@Mona
HEHe, make sure to let us know when you are booking that ticket!!!
You gotta try the homemade cheese in the M.E – yummy (one more reason to keep spreading)
@JouJou
Of course I will tell everyone! Also, I got a surprise coming up and new contests. The next few months will be great! I hope.. inshallah!
And I know.. you said the magical words! Arabic cheese is amazing. My favorite cheese is 3akkawy!
@Mona
Your blog is only getting more and more interesting!
Inshallah everything will work out according to your plan!
Cheese is getting more 3akkawy like
interesting blog.
As you said, the ME posts/pics w/ be highly amusin from the point of view of a funny writer who hasn’t been around in all those years.
@JouJou
Thank you!
@Amina H.
Inshallah ya rab!
I haven’t been to the mideast in 15 years. If I had the money I would go see visit my family in Jordan. Also, I would visit Egypt, always wanted to see the pyramids. I think its great you want to go, your mother will come around, from everything that you post its like reading the arab-canadian version of my mom and sister, they argue but eventually come around to see the others point of view.
@Ali H.
That’s great that you can relate to my story. That’s exactly how us Arab-Canadians think and argue. lol
wow, its been 17 yrs
, if you are visiting Lebanon anyways, try to visit Jordan and Syria as well, they are only few hours apart 
well then I second joujou
–Beirut to Damascus -1 hour
–Damascus to Amman – 3 hrs
Woo! Way to rebel you rebellious girl you! It’s why we love you after all
Enjoy your holiday planning and remember to only half fill your suitcase so you can bring back a shedload of shopping.
Oh btw, since you’ll be in the region (Belad Al -Sham), why don’t you try to visit Palestine. It is very difficult to get in, yet not impossible –just a thought :p
No one back home read this post and want to hang out when I get there.
Maybe you should change the blog title to “Rebellious ex-Arab Girl”.
Good luck with everything! I’m sorry for the back and forth with you mom about work… although it sounds like you may be picking the wrong battles.
I love the gossip, but your mom doesn’t sound so bad as some relatives I have seen. (you just got to figure how to reply back – I like the sweet approach – everyone is going to bitch behind your back, but they do it less in front of you if you are sweet and smile) 
Also, we are the same age and I have a cousin (in-law) who is pretty similar to you in that she is Palestinian in the US and living with her mom and stuff. (although it sounds like you are much better about getting good jobs – even if you took a break!) Anyways, it’s a similar back and forth with her mom about marriage and all that stuff and for the most part the family (outside her immediate family as they are a bit dysfunctional, by any standards) has been trying to get her to live on her own. Is that possible for you at all? I mean, how it has worked for other cousins who did this (in particular one who came to the US when she was a teenager) was that their mom was mad for a bit, but in the end, you are their daughter and once they see that the world didn’t end, it’s usually ok. And certainly makes for a more healthy relationship.
Also, why the debate so much over going to Lebanon? If you are making enough money than you can pay for this and should be able to set up your visits with your family. If you haven’t been back for awhile though, I hope you know that you mom is probably pretty calm about your situation in life compared to your aunts and uncles back in the ME!
On the same note, I wouldn’t worry about the jobs because that shouldn’t be that much of an issue back in the ME. I guess it depends on your family – with mine (in Jordan), it’s not a huge issue. People work what they can do and that’s that. Of course, the job market in Jordan SUCKS!!
Also, Lebanon is great, but keep an eye on what is going on. A lot has changed very recently there and even the clubs have to change locations as different groups puts pressure on them. My Lebanese friends keep commenting on how much things have changed within the past 2 years…
@Caledonian Jim
Why ex-Arab? I would never change who I am. I love being an Arab.
@Little P
First off, I don’t want to move out. I just want to leave for a while!
Secondly, who said I was moving to the middle east? I am just going for a visit inshallah. That’s about it. So I am not going to look for work there.
@Mona
Sorry – I was sharing my experience – I didn’t mean to imply that you move to the ME or work there. You are certainly much better in Canada when it comes to even finding a job. So, you are still looking for work or are you figuring your blog is your full-time job?
No problems with the other one – it just seems like it may be good for you to move out for the sake of your relationship with your mom and sister!
Have a great time, inshallah, in the ME! I hope you are able to go!
Really i don’t know why arabs in outside the middle east keep hating other arabs, and also why you toke this view about arabs?
they are normal people living their life normally.
aw this is your opinion and i have to respect it.
Enjoy your time.
@Little P
Oh don’t worry about. I was just saying that I would probably not go there to look for work. I rather enjoy my time away from my daily surroundings. Plus seriously, for an Arab, shouldn’t I at least visit the home land just once?
@Mohammad Badi
I don’t hate other Arabs. I hate lying Arabs that my mom knows! There is a difference my friend.
Good!
Get back to Lebanon. But I fear what you may find when you get there, unfortunately shallow materialism has traveled the world. The joys of global capitalism.
But go, please go. For Ramadan if you can. I am in Jordan now and will stay through Ramadan. Being here gives a whole new perspective when thinking about and writing about the Middle East.
Happy travels.
PS
My perspective on your mother: your career is work in abstraction. She fixes or makes things, concrete things, she can touch and see.
Your work is extremely important but she can’t see it or touch it. Write a book she and touch and see and she will say with pride “this is my daughter the author”. Of course a few years latter she may say “when are you going to write another book?” I know how it is. Keep your head up.
Marc
@marc
Oh I know how the life is in Lebanon. I am not going to be that shocked, but maybe I will have more stuff to talk about being there!
And believe me, even if I authored 10 books, she will never be satisfied with me doing it from home..
whatever you do.. stay away from the GCC. FAR FAR too hot and humid in late summer. A canadian chick wouldn’t last very long.
’nuff said.
Hey, I went to Damascus earlier this year. LOVED IT. The people were awesome! I even ate with a Palestinian family from the place your family is from.
And I met a medical student from Gaza. Super sweet Arabs .. all of them. If you want to see them, go to my blog and hit the “Syria” tab along the right side of the page. I called the Palestinian family “the Jake family” since their surname is the Arabic word for Jacob.
I wish I could go back there!