Some people in the past have asked me why I have advertisements on my site. I replied that I was poor and I needed money from writing such mundane things on my blog. Since I have been finally employed by the good people who realized that maybe I do have a talent, then people will now question why I am still monetizing my blog.

I know advertisements are annoying, and they make pennies a day. However, I am going to leave them for two reasons:

1) I have a significant number of lovely daily readers.

2) I am going to use the money for something more than my self and to help others.

Therefore, I have decided that the money I make from my site will be sent to an online Palestinian Children’s Charity. It has absolutely no political affiliation. It is just money to buy medicine, etc. I could care less about politics or any stupid organization, and I support no one.

The rest of the money will be used for hosting my websites and domain renewals, and any other miscellaneous online purchase I need for my sites.

Random Thoughts

Well, I have been on a shopping frenzy lately. I had to go buy new clothes for work. And this is no ordinary work. I can’t dress like I just got out of bed and put on the first thing I saw in the closet that is still not ironed. Oh no. No more! I have to look like I am actually going to work! Not only that, all my clothes are too big on me. I lost so much weight from sitting at home eating my self up from anger and depression, that I was in desperate need of a new wardrobe! So, I am slowly picking up new clothes and will get a lot more later and throw out the old. I only go for sales. I don’t like spending money on clothes. I find it a waste!

Also, it is so much fun walking in downtown and looking like I a little career girl! Hehehe! I look so sophisticated for a programmer. But hey! I get treated well! I get a kick ass view (click to view), free hot drinks, and free lunch every Thursdays. Now that’s the life!

Advertising, Blah Blah, Categorize this!, Palestine, They said what?

I Twittered this photo today from my cell phone. This is my temporary work station at my new job till I receive my brand new 24 inch iMac thingy that begins with an M and ends with crapintosh!

[Link to my Twitpic Album]

Thank God that I am going to only be coding on it. Oh Macs.. why why!!

My first couple of days at work

So far so good. I really like the place. I met a whole more whack of people. When you work for a small business, you start feeling that you are part of the family. I feel like I belong somewhere now and people like me! Unlike those haters from yesterday.

Do you think if a company is owned by Arabs, they would hire me? I don’t think so. They would find something to criticize about other’s appearance first. They wouldn’t take me on, because they only think about looks like some guy did yesterday on Twitter that said, “you are hated by Arab guys because you are unattractive and look like an Indian.” Can you believe that Arabs stoop that low in name calling to insult another Arab and an entirely different culture too? Only on Twitter. And only from Arabs.

Now I will get people commenting on this post saying that I am an Arab hater and racist. When will the circle of hate ever end? Who started it? Definitely not ME!

You know what is funny?

I have never ever in my entire life of blogging or Twittering have insulted someone out of spite and racism. I don’t hate for no reason. I only hate stupid ignorant people. I could care less what race people are from. I am an equal opportunity hater!

Blah Blah, Culture, Happy, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Tweets, Whatever!

Today is another one of those fun blog posts where I rip apart people’s Google search phrases to my site! Oh boy, I got some good ones today.

A typical search engine phrase coming to my site is porn related obviously. I get thousands of those a day. They are not interesting at all. However, some can be fun to read and comment on. Others, well, they bring shame to the meaning of being a conservative culture. Their culture messed them up so much, that they look for the BAD, and in return, they get the MONA!

Some phrases and a giggle or two!

1. Problems of loving an Arab

I understand your utter frustration and going through some hurdles in loving my people. However, think of the root of the problem. You are dealing with a brain washed culture. You need to penetrate through that barrier and try go deep within.

Actually, let me stop. That just sounded bad and sort of horny. Ok, hmm, good luck loving one of us if you are not one of us!

2. How to marry Arabian women

Why do you want to marry that many women? Are you insane!! One is enough. More than one and you won’t be dealing with multiple sleeping partners for only your sexual pleasures, but you will be dealing with 24 hour cat fights! Save your self now!!

3. I don’t like talking about sex in public

Really? Why do you search for it online then? Isn’t the interweb sort of a public thing? However, I do feel your frustration. Talking about human reproductive parts and intimacy in public is kind of hard. Try blogging about it instead! Like me!

4. Jealousy Arab men

I don’t mind the jealousy that much. I feel special that someone cares. However, too much jealousy is bad. Actually, Arab guys are super jealous sometimes. It does get annoying. Best solution? Hmm, try to be even more jealous than him, and see how he feels. That always works!

5. Time for a change girl

*Snapping my fingers* I know home girl! That’s what I try to do sista!

6. Girl stare at you

If you are a guy, then she is checking you out. If you are a girl, then she is cursing you in her head and wishing you will die, because you have something she does not have!

7. How to attract Arabic girl

Money and looks are not gonna cut it. Try having a personality first.

8. Have you ever had a feeling that you are so close

Close to what? Do I want to know? Should I stop thinking now of what this person means!

9. What’s the matter? Too spicy for you?

Nop! Just sizzling HOT! Meoow! And I have a very sick mind!

10. Why are girls so stupid?

Why are guys so stupid? This could be a never ending circle of stupidity you know.

11. Muslims are fair skinned

What bubble do you live in? Can I come over and burst it with a sharp knife?

12. Why everyone hates Capricorns?

Because we are pure evil and selfish. What kind of question is this?

13. If you had to describe the silliest thing people do what would it be?

Reading this blog. I feel sorry for you people. Tsk! Tsk!

14. What does “ya lahwi” mean?

It means, OH MY GOD!!! NO WAY!

15. How are Arab girls thoughts?

Messed up and all over the place. Ask me. I should know.

16. What do you think of Arabs?

Meh. They are ok.

17. I want to marry girls

Try one girl first. Why so many? One is enough to deal with.

18. How do you say dumb in Arabic for a girl?

Mastooly. Habla. Bala 3a2el. Etc.

19. How to kiss Arabic girl?

Umm. Hmm. Umm.

20. What’s the word for insanity?

Rebellious Arab Girl.

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Funny, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

I have no friggen clue! A PURE MIRACLE! I am still dumbfounded by how it all happened! I am still in shock and in so much disbelief! I will tell you guys how it all happened, and you would be like WOW!

Ok, two and a half weeks ago, I got an interview at this nice office in the middle of downtown. In the heart of the city! In the tallest and most beautiful of all buildings! In one of the highest floors! I was like wow!

So, I got interviewed by two ladies, and two IT guys. First, the owner, and some program coordinator. They were super nice, and they didn’t ask me anything crazy. No stupid psychological human resource questions, or anything weird ass. Straightforward and to the point. I told them what I used to do, what I know, my education, my skills, and what I like to do in life. The ladies were super nice and very friendly. They have to be. They love to put a perfect smile for everyone!

Anyways, I brought a list of sites I did in the past, and a full description to go along with it. So it was a nice printed piece of paper. It was well done! So, I then showed them my links with the two computer guys. (No IT Manager! Thank God. I don’t want to deal with any of those again!) So, the guys were cool. They asked me very simple ass computer questions, and then, oh no, THE TEST!

The programmer guy gave me a PHP, Javascript, and SQL Test. I didn’t answer any of the Javascript questions because I was scared as hell and I don’t use Javascript much. A lot of questions from the test I couldn’t remember, but I knew a lot. It was two pages of questions, and I tried my best to answer all of them! The guys then came in 15 min later and sat down, and the programmer looked it over and said, “you use the web interface for SQL right?” I said, “yah.. I can’t remember everything! Most of these questions a person has to look up. I can’t possibly remember everything.” They said, “yep, we look up stuff too.”

Interview ended, and I knew they would never ever call me back. I was like crap. I should have studied more.

The end of last week, I saw the job being re-advertised on a different job board. I was like great. Typical. They don’t call back and they are looking for someone else! Time to move on and keep applying for more work. What else can I do?

Then, Monday happened. Oh, and from now on, I LOVE MONDAYS!

Monday morning of this week, I got a phone call from them. The lady was like, “Can you come in this afternoon to meet another person. (Another owner) He wants to meet you and all the other candidates before we make a choice.” I was like SURE! However, people, look back at what she said and keep in mind, she said, CANDIDATES! Plural.

However, I went back to that particular job board, and the position was gone! It was removed. Hmm!

So, I went back to the gorgeous place, and was like wow. I love the view from way up here!

The ladies again interviewed me and I met the other owner guy. He just kept staring at me, and I tried to show him some of my old work, and once I got technical, he said, “I don’t know anything technical. I got to go. I got patients!” So the other people came back and kept talking to me, and then the lady owner said to another lady, “Did we show Mona around the office yet?” I was like no. So I was shown around for a bit, and came back to talk some more. This time one on one, and then I asked, “Is this the second interview?” The lady said, “Well, no. We are trying to decide between two candidates, you and someone else. We need them right now. We need to make a decision within 24 hours who we want.” I said, “Ok, well I am available right away, and I just want full time work and to do what I love to do best, Web programming.”

So for the first time ever, I felt comfortable, and I kept talking about what I wanted, and what I didn’t like. I said I will never work at the University again. I don’t want contract work, I am sick of it. I want stability and to start a career.

The lady didn’t talk, and just kept smiling at me. I was like, “Well, do you want to know anything else?” She said smiling, “No, do you have anything else to say?” I said, “No.”

Next morning, not even 24 hours later, the lady called back and said, “Can you send me your references?” I said, “SURE!” How many do you need? She said, “2 or 3 are fine.”

So, my heart started racing, and I was like shit!! Where can I get at least two references! ASAP! So, I got one handy, he wouldn’t let me down cause I still chat and communicate with him. He was always nice to me, and so was his wife. So, I got him. Where can I find another! My best friend, “Where the hell IS SHE!” I have been contacting her for like ever, no sign. She like vanished off the first of the earth. Or maybe she is ignoring me because she is going through a really bad time. So I was like shit, can’t find her. Plan B! Ex-Employer? I don’t think so. I am scared to ask him because I don’t trust him anymore. Something in my heart was telling me to be very weary of him for now, and find someone else. So, I called my EX-EX employer from my first job ever in University and neighbor! I called him up and found him managing things around! He is never in his office!

I was like, “HEY!! This is MO-WNA!” (English pronunciation)

He said, “WHO? I can’t hear you. I am outside and so much noise and construction here!”

I said, “THIS IS MUNA! MUUUUNAAA!!”

He said, “MUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! How are you my friend!”

I said, “GREAT!! I need a favour from you! You know I am in the job market, and they need a reference. Can you give me a reference!! PLEASE!!”

He said, “Of course! That’s my job! GOOD LUCK!!”

I said, “THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

So, I was saved! Sort of!

So, the afternoon passed by on Tuesday. No call. Later at night, I chatted and contacted my first reference, and he said, “I wasn’t in the office. She left a message though.” I said, “Ok cool!”

Wednesday passed, nothing. Nothing! I was at the edge stuck between a yes or no! TELL ME NOW SO I CAN KEEP SEARCHING FOR WORK! Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Urgh!!

That night, I swear to God! I dreamt that the lady interviewed me told me, “Sit down and smile! Let me see your teeth?!”

Thursday morning, I sat down to watch Live with Regis and Kelly. I was sitting on my lovely L-Zay boy couch, had a hot coffee in my hand, and was enjoying Kelly talking about something funny, and Regis saying something sarcastic back, and my phone rang! I have full caller ID display. So I was like YES! Or no?

I answered, and it was an echo. It was like I was put on a speaker phone for others to hear too.

The lady said, “We want to offer you a job. Are you still available?” I said giggling like a school girl, “YES!” She said, “Good! Will you accept this xxx salary or want to negotiate?” I said, “SURE! I will accept!” I think I vaguely remember the number now, but dammit! I AM GETTING PAID TO ONLY DO ONE THING I STUDIED TO DO! PROGRAMMING!!

She said finally, “However, you must come in tomorrow from 8:00 am till 4:30 pm and start.” I said, “SURE! SEE YOU THEN!”

And that’s when I wrote yesterday’s post bitching about everything I wanted to bitch about in life and how messed up it is to look for work from a degree that you studied in University and have several years experience in it. Finally! I WILL GET TREATED FAIRLY!!

More shocking news!

I chatted with my first reference yesterday that they couldn’t get a hold of the first day. He told me, “That lady never called back.” I said, “WHAT?” He said, “She never called back to ask.” I was like WOW!

Did I get this job from one reference???

Today

I had a very overwhelming day! I had fun! I was thinking so hard, that I started getting a headache. I didn’t even feel like eating or going on a lunch break. However, I had to consume coffee. And oh boy! They have a kitchen and FREE COFFEE!!! Ahh, this is the life. I hit the jackpot!

Thank you everyone!

Thanks everyone for the great wishes. It means a lot! You don’t know how much this means to me. From now on, I can be the Happy Rebellious Arab Girl that you guys want to kill! I saw some death threats from yesterday’s comments. Bad you people! How can you kill sweet little old me!? How else would I have entertained you? Isn’t making everyone mad a form of entertainment? Well, maybe not, but it was for ME! Hehehe!

Blah Blah, Funny, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

This is going to be a long ranting post. So read on if you enjoy such a thing. I do. I love ranting. I feel that I can get everything out of my system and for the whole world to read!! And I honestly don’t care who reads it. What do I gain or lose if they read it? Nothing.

So, I am sick of looking for work. I am sick of going to interviews and trying to sell my self. I feel so violated. Selling my self? Sounds so wrong. Not only that, I have to fabricate a bunch of stories about my past and how awesome my work was and the things I did. Why lie? Why? Who am I kidden? My self? People? Don’t employers know that if you lie, you will get caught sooner or later? Like they can tell you know shit!

Actually, some companies are smart and will figure out if you know shit from the first interview. Some smart companies give you a test. I got some of those tests before, and oh boy! It felt like I was taking the final exam of all exams and was worth 100% of my overall final mark! Wow! It is scary. I start sweating and praying to the almighty Lord, and for those atheists, I am sorry, I believe in God. I have to. It makes sense to little me who needs to have a little bit of faith in life just to survive and sleep at night.

So interviews suck, and I know my luck. There is never hope. Getting a job now a days, in such a messed up world with unstable economy, is like winning the lottery. And I am known to be an unlucky person in everything that goes on in my life. So all I do is rant rant rant. And for those that know me and follow my blog, really really really hate me complaining about work. A reader of my site named Oussama commented on my Mundane is the Name from last week’s post where I complained that I am toast! No one will hire me and I have no motivation to do so! He bluntly told me that I should stop wasting companies time if I have no intention in doing well or caring about looking for work. I agree. I cannot do well, and I so can’t look for work. So I stopped looking for work. I did Oussama and everyone else a favour. Happy people?

Why look for work? Start my own business!

Sure, I can start my own business, but you see, I sat at home for many months contemplating if this is the lifestyle that I want. Do I want to be a web entrepreneur full time and venture into the unknown? So I tried. I wrote down ideas! I wrote down many ideas and possibilities! However, I lacked motivation. I needed someone to tell me, do it. Do it now! Do it dammit! MONA START WORKING! What are you waiting for Mona? Are you waiting for all the money in the bank to deplete? Are you waiting for a miracle from God and money to start pouring down like rain?

What are you waiting for Mona? You cannot start a business or anything! You need motivation!

So, who is willing to motivate me? You see, the problem is that I lack faith in my self. I don’t know why or how that happened. I was never like this. I think I started losing faith in my self every time I got rejected from a company after an interview. And believe me, I went to a lot of interviews. Obviously, my resume rocks and I stand out. That was never a problem. My problem was that I couldn’t put all my thoughts in one place, and since I am a 100% introverted person, being interviewed by more than one person scared the hell out of me. I would always feel my heart racing, the palm of my hands start sweating like crazy, and I start forgetting my name. And oh my name. MONA IS SUCH AN EASY NAME TO FORGET!

So I stopped looking for work. I don’t want to ever go to an interview again and feel like I am having a heart attack while trying to sell whatever skills I have. I think I have skills. I think I am smart. However, do they know that? Do they believe that? Who will believe it when my heart is racing so fast and I am about to have an anxiety attack?

Many people told me that the only way, especially in this city of mine, is to network. You must know many people Mona. You need to network and keep friendships with people that will help you get a job in the future. Sure!! I thought about it. I really did. However, I feel like a two faced suck up who only wants to make friends with you just so you can help me out! It’s like you owe me something in return of a fake friendship. I don’t want anyone to owe me anything or me owing them anything! I don’t want to get a job knowing that someone else had a hand in it. I feel like I owe them that for life! That’s not me. I can’t do it.

You see, the only thing I didn’t lose so far in life is knowing that I can do it. I think I can do it on my own. Why not? What’s wrong with me? Other then being a very introverted person who has been lacking faith in her self? Well, only because I kept getting rejected! I hate being rejected! Getting rejected sucks ass! It’s the worse feeling on earth, and that’s why I stopped going to interviews or looking for work. I hate rejection! But, I hate feeling that I can only get a job because I know people that know other people! What is this, a job market or mafia?

My people will call their people and will try to hook you up by at least getting you an interview. ??????

I can GET AN INTERVIEW by my self dammit! I don’t need that! I revamped my resume and it rocks! It is the best looking resume ever! Straight forward and to the point! This is me! Like it or not! I will go to an interview if you believe in me! Not because someone else told you that she can do it! Don’t put this idea in my head that the only way to find work now a day is through networking. I am a social networker! Look at me! I have a blog! I have hundreds of Facebook friends! I have several hundreds and even over a thousand Twitter friends! I can social network. I can talk to people who know people. However, is that what I want? To use them to find me a job!? I want good friends in my life, and be happy. Not to use them!

Mona, YOU CAN GET A JOB without any help! That’s what I keep telling my self. That’s the only faith I have left in my self. That’s what kept me going, but I gave up today. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t look for work anymore. I am tired of it. I don’t know what to do anymore. Anyone knows? What can I do anymore!!

[source]

So, I wrote this post 3 days ago, and people are wondering and waiting. They are wondering what I am talking about. Maybe I was talking about work. Maybe they are waiting for that final decision in my life that I will make. And yes, it was that I will stop going to interviews cuz I am sick and tired of them. I am sick of looking for work. It’s a tiring process that exhausts your well being. I cannot do it anymore. I am exhausted.

I wrote this,

I really wanted to write a very smart, clever, and sophisticated blog post today. However, due to unruly circumstances that are beyond my control, I was only allowed to write two sentences today.

Then I decided to cheat and add two more!

Stay tuned!

Some people wondered. Some people are waiting, and one person named Tekkaus asked me to add two more sentences to complete the thought by saying:

Clever with words….but too bad we have to wait huh! Perhaps more than 2 sentences in your next post? :p ….

So, I will finally do him and the rest of you a favour and add two more sentences to relieve everyone, and I promise this is going to be it. No more ranting about looking for work, because I gave up. I really did.

Here it goes. Two more sentences:

I got hired today.

I will start tomorrow morning.

Advice, Blah Blah, Confused, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!