What’s your definition of jealousy?

YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE TRUTH!
I agree with you, Mona. Jealousy is bad, it’s killing you slowly without you ever realize.

Hi Mona, your arguement is valid because jealousy leads to envy and envy leads to nasty hatred which develops into something much worse. In religious class we are often told there a two types of jealousy… harmless jealousy (in which a person wishes they had the same as someone else – with no intention of wanting to take something away from that person) and envy (in which a person wishes the other person didn’t have what they had – and they would suffer for having it in the first place). My mother is the same she says competition and jealousy is good because it motivates the other person to excel over someone else. However, shes always makes the point that no matter how much we want something someone else has, we should never wish what that person has to disappear or hope that person suffers for having such a blessing. I guess it comes down to distinguishing between “harmless jealousy” or “harmful jealous”. I agree with you’re saying when I feel jealous of someone I try to avoid envying the person for whatever it is they have and sometimes I feel guilty just for been jealous of that person alone. Though harmless jealous encourages me to work hard and obtain something of the same level or higher than that person.

Definition of Jealousy, resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage. Antonyms: contentment, happiness, pleasure, satisfaction.

To become truly successful one must focus on them-self eliminating artificial benchmarks set by others. If we live life courageously and with integrity we will achieve personal success. Jealously is consuming and self destructive nothing good can come from it other than self loathing and twisted thoughts.

Measuring yourself against others is a healthy way to motivate ones self but it can be a slippery slope.

I am not sure your mother means Jealousy as it is defined.

Mona, straight to the point, jealousy is a disease many that leads to many other disorders such as Anti Social Disorder, Kleptomania & Depression/Anxiety….There is an enormous difference between jealousy and a good example…looking up to someone who has a sick mental disorder that they are not born with such as jealousy is not a positive thing to do. Severe chronic jealousy usually leads to suicide if it persists…anyone wants to know more, please email me at Mary.Barahmeh@yahoo.com

Best regards,
Mary Barahmeh

Is there a difference between jealousy and resentment? I know I can resent someone without being jealous of them. I don’t know, you got me thinking because I tend not to be a jealous person as well.

hmm………..well….jealousy is certainly the bad thing……..but i don’t think…Envy is bad…..envy is good….cause it motivates you to do better than other…….not particularly by bringing them down but to rise up…..

woo hoo……..\,,,/

I would say jealous is normal state of human as social people that they always interacted with someone else. We must treat jealous state is more important so that jealous state make someone to strive on both positive thought and behavior ahead peak prestige.

Both jealousy and envy are bad, actually envy is one of the 7 deadly sins. Nothing good comes out of both. In the Arab world we tend to use the world jealous in a different context for example (غيور على وطنه) does not mean someone who is jealous but someone who cares a lot for.
So, I suppose this may be a particular case of miscommunication.
As for not being able to communicate with your mother, maybe both have to listen more attentively and make the extra effort to understand

Jealousy is usually destructive. It is often the gateway to other worse actions or emotions.

HOWEVER…..a bit of jealousy can sometimes show the other person you care.

As for you and your mother, good luck! We have our own mothers to deal with.

THE GUYS
Hope you’ll visit us.

Yes, that’s a good point. There’s a big difference between envy and admiration. If you envy somebody, your motivation is malicious and you may be more concerned with sabotaging them than competing with them. On the other hand, if you admire something about a person you will emulate them if you can, because you want to be more like them in at least some ways. Maybe that’s what your mom means? Because envy is NEVER a good thing!

Absolutely correct! … Envy IS bad and as mentioned before is a deadly sin, coz it burns away our good deeds just as fire burns the wood …

We all have our differences …. I too quiet often find it difficult to communicate with my Mum about somethings which we do not agree on *sigh*

Are both using the same definition of the word? And what language was used in this Mother-Daughter bitchfest?

Oddly enough, I can see things from your mother’s viewpoint. However, I can also see yours.

We, as muslims, were told to avoid jealousy… But in matters of knowledge and deeds, we’re allowed to be jealous and allow that jealousy to drive us to do better. Most of the times, though, that doesn’t happen. Sadly.

Envy is wanting something someone else has (both material and immaterial).
Jealousy is fearing to lose something to someone else (usually a loved one).

An interesting experiment was once done. People were told they participated in a lottery.
group one won e.200 and were led to believe someone next to them won e.1000
group two won e.100 and were led to believe someone next to them won e. 50
aterwards, they were asked how satisfied they were with their prize. Of the two groups, group two was much more satisfied.

So, envy spoils our ability to be happy with what we have, and is an unproductive emotion. In my opinion its therefore a negative emotion. If you are envious of someone, be aware that what you envy might not be such a blessing after all. People should try to do something positive in which they are good, and not try to imitate others all the time. And too much money can make you just as unhappy as too little.

Then jealousy. The positive side of jealousy would be that if you are jealous and afraid losing a loved one, it shows you love him or her. However there is a great negative undertone: it also shows you dont trust your loved ones.

jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to hate
and hate leads to the DARK SIDE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJeKS0gNz48

@Mona

Bitchfest: A heated argument over something really really silly.

Example: My mother and grandmother had a bitchfest, because someone opened a box of candies.
Example: My friend entered my gaming account without permission and changed a few things. I decided to throw a bitchfest.

Can also be replaced by Hissyfit, but might be considered offensive by some females, or felines. Either way you don’t want to mess with either group.

Jealousy: Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values.Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring. [Wiki]

I would say jelous state is normal state of every human as social people that always interacted each others in normal life. when jelous state come in our heart its better to set it to be good thing so that to emerge both positive thought and behaviour ahead best prestige. in contrary, dont become down due to jelous state that make us to be both bad thought and action.
what about jelous in animal?? look many cat strive to get fried fish he he he…:-)

@Mona
Mona, yes I am. Abnormal Psychology is my major.

@ OSSOUMA, I was just going to mention EXACTLY what you wrote. In the Bible, to be envious is one of the 7 deadly sins. The Bible states that you should never want to be like someone, or want something that they have for you should be thankful for everything that God has given you. Jealousy to a certain extent is normal. After all, we are human aren’t we? But the question is, to what extent is normal?

@Mona

They might be wise mouth comments, but they’re also true examples. The one about my grandmother and mother happened the day before.

Plus no matter what you say, you’ll always loves me! *Self-absorbed person living in their own personal universe*

I understand the point everyone is making about jealousy being negative, but you have to give credit sometimes. Jealousy, envy, could be good in small doses. Being happy with what you have is good in its context but if you live in a shit country, with a shit family, and lead a shit life, a little envy towards those that are doing better than you is completely acceptable and healthy.

Im happy that im a very jealous person by nature and I hope to continue to be like that for a while. It doesnt have to feed into your personal life or relationships. It could just make you strive to work harder and want something better for yourself.

What would happen if you never became jealous or envious?

Salam Mona, how are you? Ramadan mubarak by the way
I haven’t been online for ages

Mais.. I know where you are aiming at I think. There have been moments where I was jealous of a friend or my sister or a cousin and it motivated me to work harder. Still I believe it is a negative feeling at the basis. Even the “victories” or successes coming from jealousy have a bitter taste.
Imagine there’s this friend of yours who is so beautiful and doing so well at university.. you feel bad next to her. So you try harder. Then you see her honestly happy for you when you get better grades. that leaves a VERY bitter taste. Been there, done that
The good thing – when you “object of jealousy” is a good hearted person, your jealousy disappears. Replaced by guilt I guess

Ya, that’s what it is to me. nothing trully good comes from an ugly feeling. Being jealous of someone you like or love or are related to is always ugly. So whatever you reach success-wise from that feeling and motivation is never going to be as good as if you did it for the RIGHT REASON.

At least that’s how it went for me. Also competition and rivalry are somewhat double-edged swords, they can be “pure”, sports-like-innocent, or have that ugly and bitter taste with them. Amongst siblings I think they are mostly bitter, and one should overcome them.

By the way your avatar is very cool Mona! Love peacock feathers!