Guest post: Why do I want to marry an Arab girl?

God bless you Mohammed.

Inshllah both of you will be blessed with ibn el-halal.

Pffff!!! honly crap man you’re an actuary!!! You must be a genious in math.
I’ve heard about actuarial mathematics you guys make more money than doctors. I bet you make no less than 300 gees a year. Tell us how much you make? What car do you drive? Ferrari, lamborghini or porsche? lolz you Arabs and your cars!

I heard the same arguments before whom like Mohammed postulate the same arguments. In this bell curve however. I beg to be standerdd deviation and be with a non Arab ( except if she was like layla khaled then I can’t not find that amazing)

Moose, please dont diverge from the topic. Lets not talk about my profession.
Thank you

“To conclude, marriage is not for fun or experience. When you choose your spouse, you must take other things than just love into serious consideration. Your goal is to minimize the probability as much as possible of having marital problems or a divorce.”

I love the final paragraph. MashAllah, very touching and well written and so true!!!

“Based on the high rates of marital problems and divorces in intercultural marriages between Muslims, the scholars are encouraging us to get married from our own background.”

Hmm, I have never heard of such ‘high rates’ care to share where did you get this from? Was it a scientific study? I thought that being from different cultures might strengthen your marriage because it’s something that you know, from the get-go, that will be a challenge.

I do agree with your points and I am partially from the same opinion.
One problem I see with arab girls here is that most of them don’t read or write arabic even if the speak it, and for someone who speaks, reads and writes it, I kind of prefer someone the same. Not sure if that is realistic or where to draw the line. It isn’t an easy language to learn specially if you were born or came young here.

I love the article too.
But, like Sentir, I have not heard of “high rates of marital problems in intercultural marriages between Muslims”.
From my personal surroundings, which in a statistical sense make up a few dozens of marriages of people with the same cultural background, and a handful of people with different cultural or even religious background, all coming from a limited Muslim population in a European city – these numbers come close to representativeness given the size of the sample we’d draw from. The only problem being familiarity bias, but for any qualitative study the researcher would draw from families or individuals s/he knows.

So judging from this pool at my availability I see high rates of marital problems in marriages where the spouses hardly ever met before the marriage. The marriages the family had more of a say in than the spouses themselves. The marriages where other criteria other than compatibility and sympathy, particularly bringing a distant relative to Europe, played a role.
Without exception the intercultural marriages, with a Muslim, a Muslim revert or a non Muslim, I have witnessed in the past 10 to 15 years, were based on actual feeling. On self-determination.
So on average they stand on firmer grounds than the average same-culture marriage.
Be aware these are too many in this small Muslim Viennese population to just dismiss them as “coincidence”. If I observe about 100 “regular” and 10 intercultural marriages within this limited population segment, then there is some generalizability until the point someone comes up with conflicting findings using the same method.

On a personal note, I have this experience with my own personal background too.
You think and doubt and question twice before you go for intercultural. YOur feelings and certainty you want to be with this person stand on a firmer basis because you expect difficulty and go for it only if you are sure.

I’d really not encourage the spreading of fear like there allegedly were “higher rates of marital trouble” between intercultural couples without having actual numbers backing it. In our community here, the empirical evidence is the exact inverse.

Anyways, I can understand your reasoning and you will find happiness the way you choose, inshaAllah. And I liked your article, I am just not in favor of negative claims that often are grounded on prejudice and make-belief (not by you, but by the sources you drew this from) rather than facts.

most of all person agree to article but the same background wouldnt yet assure a eternal marriage, the intecultural isnt bad marriage too

An article that simply reinforces the widely held belief in the non-Muslim world that Muslim men are racist misogynists. What’s all this nonsense about “some Arab girls being corrupt” and “the language of Islam” and “relate to at all levels”?

I’ll tell you – it means maintaining the status quo, keeping women down and using religion to enforce the domestic dictatorship. That’s not love – it’s marital slavery.

This is very interesting topic and I agree with some points that have been raised above. However I would have to strongly disagree with a few comments, namely:

1. Marriage is a serious thing

Marriage is not as serious as everyone makes it out to be. Sure as an institution you have to take it seriously. But for too long people in the West and increasingly in the Arab world have been placing far too many obstacles and diversions on a marriage, essentially putting it up on a pedestal so high that they can never reach it.

In the West people live together for years, have children and never think about marriage as it’s too hard and expensive. In the Arab world it’s just as bad where people worry about having to buy this, get that, register property in your name, higher dowry then the neighbours daughter, etc resulting in…well we all know what is going on.

Marriage is a straightforward contract. You have two parties who agree on simple terms and join in a union. That’s it, worked for centauries, simple!

2. Inter-cultural /Inter-racial marriages don’t work

I don’t have the benefits of statistical research but in my years of experience as a migration lawyer I have helped hundreds of people bring their wives/husbands to Australia and my experience has been, that on the whole, inter-cultural/racial marriages do work as well if not better than marriages where people are from the same background.

I have even seen marriages that were fixed to get someone a visa, of course they don’t tell me the marriage is a fake (but one can sense things), work out and the couple remain together as a real husband and wife.

Culture is never a barrier to unity, people are.

Cheers,

I disagree with Mohamed G. Im Asian and married to an Arab. Our relationship works out fine…our parents get on well with each other. In our house we speak 3 languages : English, Malay and Arabic. Being in the western country we speak mainly English. I find that the dynamic of intercultural marriages are interesting and alot hardwork. Where Im at there are many Asians and Causasians whom are married to Arab men…and the kids speak Arabic. For me intercultural marriage is not a big issue coz my parents too are of diffent race and many of my relatives marry outside the race. The main things to make the marriage work are mutual respect, understanding and practicing Islam together. In my case….intercultural marriages do work.

Hi Dina and Sentir,

“High rate” is a subjective term, one might argue that 15% for example (1.5 out of 10 spoues get divorced)is high, the other might argue that it’s not. We can never judge based on personal observation, because no matter how much we observe, it will always be insignificant. for example, I have witnessed the following: My cousin got married to an indian, my other cousin got married to a british, my friend got married to a Polish, family friend got married to a German. All of them got divorced after long years of marriage and all their wives were converts except the indian who was born in a Muslim family. If I was to put this as an argument it wouldn’t be credible because it is based on personal observation, just like in your case Dina. Now it is unfair to compare forced marriages with intercultural marriages because forced marriages, the spouses got married out of their well, so this can cause serious problems. Just in Saudi Arabia alone, 65% of those marriages end up in a divorce in less than a year. A fair comparisant would be people who got married from the same background and they like the spouse to whom their getting married to vs. intercultural marriages. Dina you said: “I have witnessed in the past 10 to 15 years, were based on actual feeling. On self-determination.” Dina you gotta ask yourself the following: Until when this self-determination can go on? You see part of growing man or woman, we will want to lean towards are people and go back to are roots. I encourage you to talk to your parents about this, you’d interested to hear what they have to say. Right now we’re young and we dont feel it, but once we grow older are mentality will change and we will view things differently. In other words grown people might feel regret from marrying outside their background. As for me backing up what I say by numbers, I wont be able to do that, because I dont have any data. However I’ve mentioned in my article that
shcolars are encouraging us to get married from the same background. When scolars make such claims, they dont talk out of nothing, because it is the scholars who witness divorces more than anyone. If intercultural marriages had a failure slighty higher than regular marriages than they woudn’t have commented on it. Here are a couple of quotes: “A healthy marital life coupled with a good relationship make up the prime objects of Nikah. That is only possible when natural inclinations and backgrounds are shared (by both spouses). In the absence of such unity, living together successfully, despite great effort is indeed difficult, as attested to by many marital breakdowns due to non-compatibility.” (Jawaahirul Fiqh vol.2 pg.95; Maktaba Darul Uloom.)

another one: “sharing the same cultural background is an important element in ensuring the stability of the long-life partnership and avoiding the problems of cultural differences, the most important criterion is the religious one.” (www.islamonline.net)

The other thing that shoud be taken into consideration when it comes to a marriage in islam is kafa’ah (suitability and compatibility) both meen the same, some shcolars might refer it as suitability and others as compatibility. “Certain actions and situations elicit different responses from persons of differing backgrounds and nature. For this reason, the Shari’ah has considered Kafaa’at (suitability and compatibility) between spouses necessary.” (Jawaahirul Fiqh vol.2 pg.95; Maktaba Darul Uloom.)

Again sorry for not having any data to backup my argument. I hope my answer was satisfying.

Noura,
Mashallah I’m very happy to hear that your marriage is working and inshallah it will remain that way. I have never said in my article that intercultural marriages dont workout, but they are however more challenging based on what I have read. Again, incultural marriages can workout. Very happy for you!! =)

mohamed :
My cousin got married to an indian, my other cousin got married to a british, my friend got married to a Polish, family friend got married to a German. All of them got divorced after long years of marriage and all their wives were converts except the indian who was born in a Muslim family. If I was to put this as an argument it wouldn’t be credible because it is based on personal observation, just like in your case Dina.

Assalamualikum W.B. Brother Mohamed. All praises for the great article you have written… I have a few questions I am keen to ask.

If marriage is an institution based on lifelong commitment from both sides why would those who have been married long years (as you have given in an example above) suddenly end up divorcing? Many traditional cultures and religious doctrines promote the concept of life-partners.

Why would they have regrets for marrying outside their ethnic group? Why would it be justified on solely culture? Islam teaches us religion comes from the heart and some families I have known have only accepted an interracial marriage under the condition (the person marrying into their family) accepts Islam. Wouldn’t you agree religion is supposed to come from the heart? Why should one person convert simply to please their husband/wife/spouse or their families? Doesn’t this suggest that Islam is not in their hearts?

I have known of families who have experienced difficulties with interracial marriages. This may be related to culture however we have to take into consideration “The Social Penetration-Theory” Human-being are like onions as you get to know a person more you peel off one layer of the onion (or in this case skin) and you become more deeply involved in the relationship. On the other hand I have met people who have had interracial marriages which have grown into deep commitment spiritually, socially, mentally and physically however this has occurred at the expense of the children experiencing rich traditional culture… (by this I mean the Western way culture has become predominant with their children). I am keen to be enlightened by your views.

Peace

“high rates of marital problems in intercultural marriages between Muslims”

That’s what I don’t get. Should the faith trump the culture? She might be Indian or Chinese, I might be Arab or Persian, but if we’re both Muslim then shouldn’t culture not matter? Since we all follow the same rules of the faith, the only difference is our fashion sense, our mother tongue etc.

Marriage is a serious and big step in life; therefore we must always choose the most suitable partner. In order to maximise the chances of having a stable marriage, one of the important things to consider is marrying from your own background.

I’ve been reading a lot about intercultural or interracial marriages. Based on what I’ve read from people who have experienced it or currently experiencing it, it is a difficult marriage to maintain and usually problems start not at an early stage, but later on during the marriage. It is a lot more difficult than if you get married from you own background. Based on the high rates of marital problems and divorces in intercultural marriages between Whites, the scholars are encouraging us to get married from our own background. Now that being said, I want to get married to an white girl because I want to marry someone whom I can relate to at all levels and someone who’s me and I’m her. Also I have to make sure that my family and hers are compatible with one another, some people might not take it into consideration, but it’s very important. Last but not least, it is extremely important for me to marry someone who speaks and understands English because not only I like to speak English, but also it is the language of the king james Bible. I don’t want to speak Swahili to my wife and see my kids grow up and say “Swahili is my mother tongue.” For the people who say “fallow your heart” or “If you love her then that’s all that matters.” You guys must understand that love alone is not enough to make a marriage workout, but it is important to love the person you’re marrying. You can’t just be emotional; you also have to be rational, a lot more things other than love must come into play. There is no such thing as “They fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after.” You might be able to see this in movies, but in real life it’s not the case.

There is no doubt that there are some white girls who are corrupt, but I’m not going to start bashing the white girl and say “I want to get married to a black or even a Muslim.” The amount of white girls that I have seen is an insignificant sample of a huge population, therefore I cannot generalise. Yes I know I’m talking like a statistician because I’m an actuary which qualifies me as a statistician. As for the white men and women who bash the white race because they fell in love with a black or Muslim, they as well cannot generalise because a black can be better than a thousand whites but also an white can be better than a thousand blacks. In other words we haven’t seen enough people to judge an entire population.

To conclude, marriage is not for fun or experience. When you choose your spouse, you must take other things than just love into serious consideration. Your goal is to minimize the probability as much as possible of having marital problems or a divorce. No matter how much I can love a black girl, I will love the white girl a hundred times more because I’ll have a much easier time relating to her.

Mohammad – well written article that made my heart sank. Maarten – well formulated response that made me smile.
Yes, international relationship and marriage in particular is not easy. It is way harder than we can even imagine.
But it is fun and very rewarding. Arab guys who marry us, non-Arab girls, don’t necessarily do so because they don’t like other Arab girls. I am positive that if we didn’t meet my Jordanian husband would have totally married a Jordanian girl. He is very Jordanian, loves traditional music, traditional clothes, and is so proud of Bedouin Jordanian Arabic. He is quite a nationalist in Jordanian point of view. Yet, I am also quite a nationalist from Ukrainian point of view. What does that bring us to? That brings us to both having two homes, two cultures that we call ours, and two perspectives on life.
International marriages can work. Yes, they also can NOT work. And are definitely harder to maintain. But love is love. And no matter how much we tell – marriage is not about love, I’d say – yes, marriage is not about passion, passionate attraction, that lots of people call love. Yet, marriage in itself is still about love: caring, kind, patient, open-minded, deeply respectful, and forward looking.

Love your response marteen, however this is plagiarism!!! loool!!! =)

Hi oksana,

You’re absolutely right, intercultural marriages can workout, but as you said they are more difficult. regardless of that, I wish you the very best and may you have a blissful marriage.

Incandescent Chimera, I did not forget you bro….I’ll get back to you.

Wow, great article and discussion! I only have time for a quick note, but… I’m starting to think in particular that Palestinian/Jordanian/Lebanese and… non-Arab (I guess) marriages almost have better success rates than others
I love that we can all share our personal experiences because I think it’s too easy to generalize based off only what we see and stats can be manipulated in so many ways!
So, from MY experience I find that intercutlural marriages (because I find that seems to be the main issue in the end – Arab Muslims marring Arab Christians don’t ever seem to get this same discussion; but that has been my experience)require a lot of personal adaptation and discussion PRIOR to the marriage. Seriously, if you wait until after you are married to ask questions about how you view life, family, etc then you are going to have major issues. Love isn’t THAT strong If you can’t explain/defend your partner’s lifestyle/culture to your family, that can also be an issue. You may decide who has the dominate culture (seriously, with my family the Arab side wins out, although we are living in the U.S. right now; with other people I know the American side is dominate).
But – in the end, these types of things should always be brought up in ANY marriage – I have plenty of examples of people from the same culture who also have found that their idea of life was so different that their entire families fought for years.
It’s hard to say what is best in GENERAL, but everyone know what is best for THEM and their family… Never forget that marriage brings together WHOLE FAMILIES and if they are not ‘on board’ so to speak, then you will run into bumps down the road!

Oh, and I pretty much ditto @oksana Hey, how long have you guys been married? I’m been married for 5 years… I guess plenty of time to see if we hold up
I’m being flippant, hopefully not disrespectful to the discussion because I find really every side has a great argument and very valid points… this is kinda’ where I find each person and family is different and makes or breaks their own relationships… *sigh* I’m not good at marriage advice, I guess

@ Little P – grm grm. Well, I called him my husband, because I never know how type ‘fiance’ properly We are getting married in a week (Signing the marriage papers – wedding half year later )

@Mona
Thanks, ya Mona

I think the interesting thing about marriage, love and commitment is that it works differently with every person. I liked your story and I hope you find someone that fits your mold that you have created.

However, I still stand firm in that if someone truly cares about you & you care about them, marriage between cultures can easily be accomplished. There may be some challenges along the way (language, traditions or even religion) but in a selfless marriage, you work to bring the best of yourself. Marriages fail because people become selfish, not because they don’t speak a language or their mother disapproves. Marriage will take work whichever way you cut the cake.

I would rather have a multicultural marriage where my children & grandchildren get exposure to multiple cultures and not blinded only to see one or another.

We as a human race are multifaceted, embrace your differences and allow them to fully enrich your life & teach your children to understand that while we hold our traditions & values firm on our hearts, we must also understand those who are different.

@mohamed
Alright thanks

I’mmmm back!!! Ok Mohammed I understand that you want to get to an Arab girl and yap yap yap….
Dude you make tons of money!!! You can get any girl you want!!! Tell me what car you drive?

Thanks Mona =)

@Moonstar Silverwolf
Moonstar, wise words. “… if someone truly cares about you & you care about them, marriage… can easily be accomplished. There may be some challenges along the way… but in a selfless marriage, you work to bring the best of yourself.” Take out the parts about culture and your words really sum up what marriage is about. Every marriage has it’s hurdles. Go back and add the parts about culture and you have simply described the higher hurdles an inter-racial/cultural/religious marriage will have. So there’s really no “right” answer to the subject. What it comes down to is who the people are and how much they care.

mohamed, really good article and a great conversation.

@Mona

Aww D,8! Don’t be unhappy Mona. Turn that smile upside down…otherwise Jesus cries and a kitty dies! Think of the kitties!…and Jesus, but most importantly think of the KITTIES! D8<

(Hopes this random and silly comment makes Mona smile)

This is a really nice post, which makes me bring up a story. I know of a girl who is from Somalia, and she married a man from Afghanistan. These 2 people, met while studying islam in Lubnan. So like any girl, we asked her what would her children speak if she ever had any. I know in Afghanistan there are many different languages among the people, and in Somalia, there is 1 language with different dialects. We were wondering how this would go about. When we asked her that question, she replied with an answer that was unusual but when you think about it, you would of probably seen it comming. She told us that if they have children they would speak to them in Arabic. I found it weird but it showed the determination between them, because they chose a language that isnt that commonly spoken from their countries.

Yeah there will be problems between the interacial marriages, but hey if they found somebody who could give them more than somebody from their own culture can, they scored more in my perspective, because instead the children dont have to stick to their one culture but then they have 2 cultures to enjoy, friends from both sides, festivals and traditions etc… As for relating to the one from your culture better, the one who isnt the same race as you, would probably have a different way of relating to your troubles, some creative sometimes no help. In my case, no matter how much i could love a person of my culture, the fact that we are from the same culture makes it a bit more boring, and repetative then a person from a different culture.

@mac
Thanks Mac.

Salam Mohamed,

Look I specifically did not mean to bring forward only relationships on one family. it will always carry a family bias (like do the siblings have a common role model, an uncle who they perceive as the “cool successful guy” who married the Jewish woman, and for them was the epitomy of a modern Arab from childhood on – and influenced ALL of the nephews? just making a story up, but I know many young kids look up to one role model in their family a lot – so here is where I say looking at one family might be biased by very specific family relations in that specific one family).

I do not know about your circumstances, but I will tell you where I said my observations must be pretty representative.

Arab community in the city I live in is pretty “observable”, a few thousand only. Turkish and Kurdish Muslims are way more, several dozen thousands. It is still a pretty tightly connected Muslim community, with entire city districts being mostly Muslim.
By observing marriages, engagements, divorces mostly in the Arab subculture, but also pretty closely in the Turkish and Kurdish one for neighbourhood and Muslim relations issues one gets a good overview.

If you see hundreds of marriages over the past 10 years (you will be invited to lots, as I said the community is pretty close), hear the development of several hundred then these are numbers that come close to representativeness.

If I were to conduct a “serious” research project on intercultural marriage (which has been done quite a few times on various topics by friends of mine) I would not proceed that much differently. I’d pick my topic f.e. divorce rates among crosscultural and monocultural Muslim marriages. I’d see in my personal contact list who will participate. Every researcher on social issues has to do this, to eliminate this bias of your close surroundings and acquaintances you will try to make contact at community centres (which you will know anyway, too).

So a reasonable sample will be about 100 individuals. Believe me, I have witnessed more than 100 marriages in the past 10 to 15 years. So whether I would make a “serious” research study or just tell from my experience like that it would not change the sample I would draw from nor the findings very much.

My insight is large and constant enough to say I believe I can say a thing or two on how I perceive the marriages I’ve been able to follow along with a bit, by close friends, more distant acquaintances, and people I did hardly or not at all know and heard about in the community centres.

I think it is safe to say for me I have witnessed much tragedy and break up for the marriages you favor, the culturally “compatible” ones, the ones where the family’s heart was burning for the union – and the spouses’ ones somewhat less.
More marriages are concluded in this manner – but I do not see how they are happier. Often they are held together only by family wish, and that is not a very strong bond.
The intercultural ones (not talking about interfaith here) on the contrary have without exception been better thought through. Imagine you expect hassle with your family over it – precisely what you said.
You will think twice, three times, four times. Many good and stable relationships are already sacrificed there. Only the strongest make it to the marriage stage. And yes, I have seen them to be absolutely durable. They were check-proofed more than necessary BEFORE the marriage conclusion.

This is what makes them stronger – the love basis is strong enough to cope with much disagreement. You do not easily give up on something like that. And do not underestimate the passion people feel for each other. As much talk as I hear on grounding a marriage not on feeling – I don’t see that as valid. I do not see how family wish is a strong and solid foundation for a marriage. A marriage is a union between two people, the two people are to become one as you said beautifully. So it is the INDIVIDUALS who have to be compatible, in their entirety. Have you had to do lot with people of other cultures? If yes you might have witnessed sometimes you get on perfectly, better than you could have ever imagined with a person of another culture. Despite language barriers, you love the same cities, have the same dreams, love the same food.
It is a general social science fact that inner group differences are as big as inter group differences – meaning a Lebanese Muslim Arab might have as much difference to another Lebanese Muslim Arab as to a Buddhist Chinese person. Logical if you consider how different people are.
it is an illusion to think the culture alone is such a big impact.

Tastes and preferences in MANY aspects of life can differ so much within one culture. The ticks of other people that drive you nuts, the ticks you have, the movies you love, the music you want to listen to, whether you sleep window open or closed …

Just the other day my husband and I laughed about how we are the EXACT mirror images of each other in so many things, we love the exact same things. I see so many marriages where the people torture each other, mainly because they considered the parents’ feelings.

So here is where I disagree firmly:

“Dina you said: “I have witnessed in the past 10 to 15 years, were based on actual feeling. On self-determination.” Dina you gotta ask yourself the following: Until when this self-determination can go on? You see part of growing man or woman, we will want to lean towards are people and go back to are roots. I encourage you to talk to your parents about this, you’d interested to hear what they have to say. Right now we’re young and we dont feel it, but once we grow older are mentality will change and we will view things differently. In other words grown people might feel regret from marrying outside their background.”

Yes, we are young. But life is too short to ground it on other people’s aims in life. Your parents have had their chance to make life what they wanted it to be. Now you have your shot at it. What you want to be, who you want to be with, whether you want kids, where you want them to grow..

It is asked too much of parents to determine that, and most I know are aware of that.
Salam
Dina

@Moonstar

“I would rather have a multicultural marriage..”

I think the major mistake in both directions is to say whether a multicultural marriage is happier or a same culture one.

the question is whether the spouses CARE for each other, want to make it work for the sake of the other (which is something completely different from wanting to make it work for the family’s sake – the difference is whether you view your partner as an end to make your family happy, then you do not care about him or her as a person, which is a disrespectful basis of a union; or if you want to make it work because you care for him or her as a person and would not want to live a day without him or her: that gives the person of your partner all the respect he or she deserves, and value as an individual), and whether the spouses are individually compatible.

You might be perfectly compatible with someone of your culture, or you might be perfectly compatible with someone of another culture.

So multicultural marriage might be the path to happiness for one person and a same-culture marriage for someone else.
Both are bound to fail if the individuals do not respect each other enough, do not love each other enough, behave too selfishly, or are either not fully compatible in their view on life and future, or develop in different directions. This is bitter, but can happen. Even after 20 years.

And irrespective of being from different cultures or the same.

But yes, in general I would say it is VERY enriching for kids to grow up with different cultures. Most of the kids coming from two cultures have had a non-hateful, open minded, tolerant view on others. Coming from one culture and protecting that necessarily limits the perspective you pass on to your kids. And being happy and proud of one’s culture very often comes hand in hand with somewhat looking down on other cultures.

Salam Alaikum,

This is my first time visiting your blog, Mona and I must say that it is very well written and amusing =)

Mohamed: Great article and insight brother.

Salam!

@oksana Congratulations!!! Good luck and you guys figure out your own way

@Dina
Halla Dina,
Before I reply to your comment,from my understanding you are married outside your background right?

It doesn’t matter if it’s family or not, my point was personal observations are useless….they dont mean anything. Sorry I got to go, but I’m not letting you go…I’ll get back to you.

@Princess
Thanks a lot princess =)
salamu-alaikum

@Dina

that’s a very balanced response :up:

@oksana

and you won’t be inviting us to your wedding….we can continue this debate when we meet…..

By the way, Congrats!

what u mean theres no such thing as falling in love n getting marryed lol thats what happened 2 my parents n thats what happened 2 my sister n inshallah thats what will happen 2 me sure theres all kinds of things 2 think about when yr getting marryed but whats the most important if its not love then what is it ? n what do scholers know about marryage anyways this offends me caz i want n plz god i will marry a girl 100% arab n i am canadain so is there anything wroung with that ? i dont think so all this is is people 4 gettting that god made us all no matter what yr curture is if u love the girl (i mean really love her)u will love everything about her her culture how she thinks everything let me tell u something if u ever find the 1 person that u cant live without n will do anything 4 then come back n tell me about her culture n her parents n whatever n u know something none of that will matter it wont matter if shes yr culture or even if shes arab or what have u all u will know is that u love her n cant live without her n i know the parents accepting is a big thing but its not about yr parents marryage is about the 2 people getting marryed or at least thats what i think it should be but i guess i am lucky caz my parents woulden care if i marryed or even if i diden as long as i am happy n it dont matter who i marry if i say i love her thats it they will love her caz i love her thats what parents r suspost 2 do i think n her mom accept me so now its just getting her dad 2 accept me n then it will be just like a movie happy ever after (plz god)so like i say when u or any of u find that 1 person that u cant live without that makes u happyer then u ever think u could be n 2 u is the most beautiful thing u have ever seen then come back n tell me if anything else matters (culture,parents,race,ect)

@Incandescent Chimera
when u truly love some1 u will have all the fun in this world that u can have some of the people here make marryage sound like a job lol is not a job its not always easy n it sometimes takes a lot of work but u do this caz u love the person n nothing else n really in the end its not alot of work caz like i say u do it caz u love the person u should enjoy doing this be happy that u r making the other person happy n that in return will make u happy or at least thats how i see it n marryage is about having fun its about being with the 1 person u love more then anything whats more fun then that