Stereotypes?
I got this Arabic cartoon from a reader of my blog. He wanted to share it, because he thought it fit the latest theme of relationships, marriages, etc, that my blog has been discussing, especially the problems the Arab society faces.
Title: “Society and Virginity!”
Male heading: “When the guy looses it”
Woman heading: “When the girl looses it”
I don’t even want to comment on this, because I am an equal opportunity blamer. Both are to blame, but to what extent?
- A while ago, I got an email from a girl saying she doesn’t know why Arab society will look down upon her if she ever wants to get married, because she was raped in her teen years. Was it her fault?
- I read an article once of a female in Saudi Arabia that was raped by several men, but she was executed. The men, well, they received no punishment. Is this justice?
- Honour killings are based on this ideology. Kill the girl for what she has done, even if she was raped, but the guy is free. Most of the time, no one knows who the guy is, because the girl doesn’t have time to breath to explain her story. Some girls are even too scared to say what happened to them and who to really blame.
As for Arab males and females that voluntary do it, well, that’s their choice. Let society deal with them, because no one can change an entire culture over night. However, you and I can change their thinking and looking at the bigger picture with various possibilities, instead of reaching to the same male-oriented conclusion.
Confused, Culture, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
I just want to correct the translation of the title
Title: “Society and Virginityâ€
:up:
@tag2000sa
Who ever said I knew Arabic well? lool Good thing I can read still and try to translate!
Attitudes towards women in Arabia, going way back were never very kind. Although there were powerful and influential women. During the Jahiliyat (pre Islam) era, it was customary for them to bury baby girls right after they are born (fear of being taken during wars, sometimes because of poverty).
Islam changed that, adultery is not an easy charge to prove if you follow the letter of the rule. However ingrained cultural values still remain and seem to surface 1400+ years, in spite of religion or modernity.
That just shows the society is run by the males……not just the ordinary males but the worst amongst them. The girl should have received proper support to get back to life as usual and the guys involved in the crime should have been hanged! But it seems that society has turned on its head and punishing the victims for being victimised!
Honor killings are barbaric & completely wrong, and the fact that the governments in the middle east don’t treat it like murder just makes me want to break something. Sadly though, even in the US we have double standards on how we treat men & women and virginity. We all should be ashamed.
According to the local imam, the woman is to blame for being raped, because she wore slutty clothes, did not wear a hijab or tempted the males in some other way. Dont say I exagerate, this is really the message being spread.
*warning piece of western logic, may offend*
The ultimate reason for being more aggressive to women who have lost their virginity is that when she has lost her virginity, there is a chance the child(ren) the man has to provide for, will not be his own. In order to prevent an investment (and children are a huge investment) in a child not his own, he HAS to be sure the woman has not had sex before.
@maarten
Which local imam?
A mister Fawaz Jneid of the As-soennah Mosque in the Hague. A notorious salafist.
http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fawaz_Jneid
His website (in Dutch)
http://www.al-yaqeen.com/nieuw/nieuws/nieuws.php?id=1543
@maarten
His comments are totally out of place with regards to Islamic laws. Indeed if women wore more decent dresses it can be helpful….but the blame of an attack can’t be placed on the victim. This is just twisted thinking. This is a form of machismo…with religious dressing. Try to stay clear of him!
This is something we don’t really understand??
But like you said, culture isn’t something that changes overnight.
Nice post.
@maarten
You see, that is the problem in every single religion, and not just Islam. There is a bad seed in every religion that spreads negative false information that is only based on their biased views. And people like you Maarten believe it and think this guy knows it all or he wouldn’t be the head of anything. When did the head of anything was any smarter or more knowledgeable? It is all about power, and people in power abuse the power. It is a shame that he is spreading false information and it reaches the hands of people like you that think it is true.
Why were you questioning this exactly?
Remember what I said a few comments back? About how Arab culture is male-dominated? Well this is a prime example.
Also “Virginity” in the Islamic context means “Pure” a widow might not be a virgin, but she could most likely be pure. While a young girl might be a virgin but she could be far from pure.
Let’s not forget that this law of “Purity” also applies to us males as well.
@BlackBarook
There ya go people. A very simple explanation of what virginity in the Islamic context really means.
Would virginity exist in the Islamic context if the woman was involved in rape? Or does rape violate or contradict the meaning of chastity or purity for a woman? There is no way to identify chastity/purity for a man why should there be bias towards the woman? Btw, I’m not meaning sex in this context. Some woman are accused of been whores when there is no hymen (of course this condition is rare) does this mean marriages should be subjected to virginity testing for the woman in order to protect their rights? This makes this issue more controversial in the Eastern world.
@Incandescent Chimera
Not virginity testing, but honesty testing. I think if the girl wants to live an honest lifestyle without any lies, she should speak up. Same as for males. They need to speak up and not be surprised in the future.
@Mona
The truth sets you free.
@Mona
People are so preoccupied with virginity that they consider it to be more important than honesty! Although unbelievable but girls in the asian community do undergo medical surgery to “regain” virginity. I’m not sure whether it works or not!
@Mona
You are totally right.
About the raped girls, I read in the sharia’ guidebook that in Allah’s eyes
intention is what matters most. A girl that has lost her virgninity against her will is in His eyes still a virgin, a virgin of intention.
If a girl has had years of slutty behaviour and then suddely repairs her hymen vaginalis, then she is not a virgin, but a girl with a sewn together hymen, i.e. a hypocrite.
There are 2 topics in this post, one is about virginity and the other about rape.
Regarding the rape issue, the raped woman must not be condemned at all, she is the victim of a sexual assault. The only one to be condemned is the rapist. We need to change our view about the rape victims and offer our sympathy and support for them to overcome this ordeal.
Regarding the issue of virginity and how the Arab societies view it is no different to other societies. Trying to condemn our Arab society for having double standards regarding male’s sexual activity and female’s sexual activity is preposterous. Can you or the person who sent this cartoon or anyone of the people who commented give me one example of a country or a culture that views men who have multiple sex partners and women who have multiple sex partners in the same way?
In the west, which many people in our countries are viewing as the Utopian society that we must imitate, you will find there is admiration for men who can have sex with many women; they are being called studs. And you will find that the women who have sex with many men are viewed negatively and are being called sluts.
You will find that here:
http://bit.ly/23PXU9
http://bit.ly/VLkfJ
http://bit.ly/wE36r
http://bit.ly/aYh1o
So, for all those Arab westernized people, find something else to criticize the Arab culture for. This one isn’t flying.
There are so so many things to criticize about the Arab culture. Don’t even get me started. As for this post, I was strictly talking about the Arab culture and how they view it and the problems caused by it. I honestly don’t care about other cultures. That was not the intent of this post.
@Mona
Is it constructive criticize Mona? If it isn’t, then please don’t share it. Our culture and every other culture has an endless supply of that.
@BlackBarook
I can share or say whatever I please. It is my blog. No one forced anyone to read.
even if a girl walks around half naked it dont give any1 the right 2 rape her any man who does that is not a man n honor killings r just crazy in my view i cant belive this still gos on in the world n as 4 talking about vrigens i think its amazing that some girls keep this 4 there husbends as they should caz its in the quran (muslims)but i mean what about those who marry n then it dont work out that dont make them any less of a woman just becaz there not virgens anymore n that surgrey some girls do (2 be virgen again)thats crazy why would any girl do that well i know why but they shoulden have 2 do that i mean come on people lol
@BlackBarook
but it does say in the Quran 2 keep it 4 there husbands right ?so that is what it means right ?
@Mona
@Charlie Hayse
I could be wrong…but I would interpret it as not to betray the husbands.
And Chastity is something that is also obligatory upon the males too. It means virginity before marriage but it also means to save oneself from illegal relationship when the person is married.
@Charlie Hayse
I guess its a tough market out there! You really have to be on top of it if you like to get the best!
Well in some situations a girl has experienced rape and the only way her parents will guarantee a relationship for her in the future without complications is by physically restoring her virginity. Otherwise its haram, it can only be done under such circumstances.
@Incandescent Chimera
rape is a very bad thing 2 have happen 2 anyboby but even so i still dont see why they would have 2 do that just 2 get a husbend what i say is what u see is what u get why should any woman have 2 be a virgin again 2 get marryed i mean she still knows the feeling whether it was good or bad (rape or not)if she needs 2 do that 4 the man 2 marry her maybe she should marry some1 else but if she wants 2 do it well its her choce salams
@Abdullah
dont it say something about slave girls 2 men can have sex with slave girls with whome they r not marryed 2 or something like that maybe i am misunderstanding it (i think i am )so dont any boby get mad at me if this is wroung lol
@Charlie Hayse
Wassalams Charlie. I understand your perspective and I agree. A lot of families in the Middle East do such things to protect their daughters who are rape victims from their future husbands as they would consider them whores and accuse them of lying. As a result they would be dishonoring the entire family. Which would ultimately lead to honor-killings, sadly.
@Mona
This wasn’t directed just at the blog, or you for that matter. I just find it annoying when people think pointing shit out and then criticizing it actually helps. There’s more in-deepth things we need to do if we hope to solve most, if not all our problems.
@Charlie Hayse
I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at?
@BlackBarook
lol what i was trying 2 get at was it says in the Quran ) And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). (5) Except from their wives or (slaves) that their right hands possess, – for then, they are free from blame; (6) can some 1 tell me what this means lol 2 me it means men can have sex with slave girls 2 witch they r not marryed 2 ??
I just want to write the words, cause you almost never hear them, like a mind game, what we hear all the time does effect us, how does this feel: the man was a whore.. a man whore.. he was raped beacuse he was a whore and deserved it.. he wore slutty clothes… he didn´t cover his arms and legs.. he was rebellious.. he´s a slut..he should cover himself and dress more modest.. he should think about his modesty..