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I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE!

This is going to be a long ranting post. So read on if you enjoy such a thing. I do. I love ranting. I feel that I can get everything out of my system and for the whole world to read!! And I honestly don’t care who reads it. What do I gain or lose if they read it? Nothing.

So, I am sick of looking for work. I am sick of going to interviews and trying to sell my self. I feel so violated. Selling my self? Sounds so wrong. Not only that, I have to fabricate a bunch of stories about my past and how awesome my work was and the things I did. Why lie? Why? Who am I kidden? My self? People? Don’t employers know that if you lie, you will get caught sooner or later? Like they can tell you know shit!

Actually, some companies are smart and will figure out if you know shit from the first interview. Some smart companies give you a test. I got some of those tests before, and oh boy! It felt like I was taking the final exam of all exams and was worth 100% of my overall final mark! Wow! It is scary. I start sweating and praying to the almighty Lord, and for those atheists, I am sorry, I believe in God. I have to. It makes sense to little me who needs to have a little bit of faith in life just to survive and sleep at night.

So interviews suck, and I know my luck. There is never hope. Getting a job now a days, in such a messed up world with unstable economy, is like winning the lottery. And I am known to be an unlucky person in everything that goes on in my life. So all I do is rant rant rant. And for those that know me and follow my blog, really really really hate me complaining about work. A reader of my site named Oussama commented on my Mundane is the Name from last week’s post where I complained that I am toast! No one will hire me and I have no motivation to do so! He bluntly told me that I should stop wasting companies time if I have no intention in doing well or caring about looking for work. I agree. I cannot do well, and I so can’t look for work. So I stopped looking for work. I did Oussama and everyone else a favour. Happy people?

Why look for work? Start my own business!

Sure, I can start my own business, but you see, I sat at home for many months contemplating if this is the lifestyle that I want. Do I want to be a web entrepreneur full time and venture into the unknown? So I tried. I wrote down ideas! I wrote down many ideas and possibilities! However, I lacked motivation. I needed someone to tell me, do it. Do it now! Do it dammit! MONA START WORKING! What are you waiting for Mona? Are you waiting for all the money in the bank to deplete? Are you waiting for a miracle from God and money to start pouring down like rain?

What are you waiting for Mona? You cannot start a business or anything! You need motivation!

So, who is willing to motivate me? You see, the problem is that I lack faith in my self. I don’t know why or how that happened. I was never like this. I think I started losing faith in my self every time I got rejected from a company after an interview. And believe me, I went to a lot of interviews. Obviously, my resume rocks and I stand out. That was never a problem. My problem was that I couldn’t put all my thoughts in one place, and since I am a 100% introverted person, being interviewed by more than one person scared the hell out of me. I would always feel my heart racing, the palm of my hands start sweating like crazy, and I start forgetting my name. And oh my name. MONA IS SUCH AN EASY NAME TO FORGET!

So I stopped looking for work. I don’t want to ever go to an interview again and feel like I am having a heart attack while trying to sell whatever skills I have. I think I have skills. I think I am smart. However, do they know that? Do they believe that? Who will believe it when my heart is racing so fast and I am about to have an anxiety attack?

Many people told me that the only way, especially in this city of mine, is to network. You must know many people Mona. You need to network and keep friendships with people that will help you get a job in the future. Sure!! I thought about it. I really did. However, I feel like a two faced suck up who only wants to make friends with you just so you can help me out! It’s like you owe me something in return of a fake friendship. I don’t want anyone to owe me anything or me owing them anything! I don’t want to get a job knowing that someone else had a hand in it. I feel like I owe them that for life! That’s not me. I can’t do it.

You see, the only thing I didn’t lose so far in life is knowing that I can do it. I think I can do it on my own. Why not? What’s wrong with me? Other then being a very introverted person who has been lacking faith in her self? Well, only because I kept getting rejected! I hate being rejected! Getting rejected sucks ass! It’s the worse feeling on earth, and that’s why I stopped going to interviews or looking for work. I hate rejection! But, I hate feeling that I can only get a job because I know people that know other people! What is this, a job market or mafia?

My people will call their people and will try to hook you up by at least getting you an interview. ??????

I can GET AN INTERVIEW by my self dammit! I don’t need that! I revamped my resume and it rocks! It is the best looking resume ever! Straight forward and to the point! This is me! Like it or not! I will go to an interview if you believe in me! Not because someone else told you that she can do it! Don’t put this idea in my head that the only way to find work now a day is through networking. I am a social networker! Look at me! I have a blog! I have hundreds of Facebook friends! I have several hundreds and even over a thousand Twitter friends! I can social network. I can talk to people who know people. However, is that what I want? To use them to find me a job!? I want good friends in my life, and be happy. Not to use them!

Mona, YOU CAN GET A JOB without any help! That’s what I keep telling my self. That’s the only faith I have left in my self. That’s what kept me going, but I gave up today. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t look for work anymore. I am tired of it. I don’t know what to do anymore. Anyone knows? What can I do anymore!!


[source]

So, I wrote this post 3 days ago, and people are wondering and waiting. They are wondering what I am talking about. Maybe I was talking about work. Maybe they are waiting for that final decision in my life that I will make. And yes, it was that I will stop going to interviews cuz I am sick and tired of them. I am sick of looking for work. It’s a tiring process that exhausts your well being. I cannot do it anymore. I am exhausted.

I wrote this,

I really wanted to write a very smart, clever, and sophisticated blog post today. However, due to unruly circumstances that are beyond my control, I was only allowed to write two sentences today.

Then I decided to cheat and add two more!

Stay tuned!

Some people wondered. Some people are waiting, and one person named Tekkaus asked me to add two more sentences to complete the thought by saying:

Clever with words….but too bad we have to wait huh! Perhaps more than 2 sentences in your next post? :p ….

So, I will finally do him and the rest of you a favour and add two more sentences to relieve everyone, and I promise this is going to be it. No more ranting about looking for work, because I gave up. I really did.

Here it goes. Two more sentences:

I got hired today.

I will start tomorrow morning.

:D
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30 Comments

  • Hey Mona, Congratulations! Today I was really hating my job, but, after reading your post…all I can say is that I love my job heheheh

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  • OK
    Lesson One: Scan the FULL page and have a glance at the ending of the post every time you read a blog, ANY blog.

    Lesson Two: Plan to KILL RebelliousArabGirl.

    Congratulations and Great post ;-)

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  • Oh my God! You saddened the heck outta me with that post! Ibrahim Hussein is right. End of posts first, from now on.

    Mabrook, mabrook, mabrook! You and I don’t know each other but I am, genuinely, happy for you! I’ve always thought such mad design skills ought to be put to good use :)

    P.S. Remember when I told you that as soon as Ramadan is over, you’ll be getting good news regarding your professional life? ;-)

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  • I hate you Mona haha… I was feeling all bad for you. I was like ahh this poor little RebelliousArabGirl—TEAR—

    Okay I really didn’t shed a tear but I did feel bad. But now it’s all good you’re a working woman again. Good stuff. So does this mean less Blogs???

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  • Congrats! I hope you find enjoyment in this job, even if the job is temporary and you eventually move on from it. I can only speak about myself, but you make me proud. I am also an introvert and I hate going to interviews.. hate them with a passion. But, I took acting class for a reason..

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  • Hahaha :D This post has more than 2 sentences. Wait…let me count…guess what? You had written 99 sentences! LOL :D

    In the beginning I thought you were quite screwed up and I feel for you because I was jobless too some time ago. And you caught us all by surprise huh!

    So congrates Mona! :) All the best ok!

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  • Woah talk about a head trip….nice congrats!

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  • congratulations!

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  • that was a long post alright. but to read the good news at last I am glad for you .
    this is my first comment, but not my first visit:)

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  • CONGRAAATS :))))))

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  • Allah yewuf’ek (I dont know if I’m writing this one right, but you know what I’m trying to say)
    Ulf mubrook!!!
    :grin:

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  • [...] I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE! Posted by admin on September 24, 2009 random This is going to be a long ranting post. So read on if you enjoy such a thing. I do. I love ranting. I feel that I can get everything out of my system and for the whole world to read!! And I honestly… [...]

  • For those of you who are wondering. It’s a full time permanent job as a web developer. As in what I do best!! They wanted someone ASAP, and I am available ASAP! :D

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  • ALSO!! Thanks everyone! I know I tricked everyone by the long ranting post. However, I started it off saying I had to get it all out of my system. And I did!

    Time for new adventures! And of course I will blog every day. I just didn’t this week cuz I was patiently waiting, and I didn’t want to say a thing. I will tell you guys tomorrow of how things developed, and I how I got this job!

    Peace out my friends! Thanks everyone for having faith in me. It means a lot!

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  • Haha you really got us Mona… I was like Aww she’s really giving up this time. Then BAM after all that you say you got a job lol.

    InshAllah alf mabrook!! I hope it all goes well for you!

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  • Congratulations, wish you the best. I am sure you will make us all proud (no pressure)

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  • Alif Mabrook ya Mona, InshAllah itshoofeen kol al-5eer, al-sa3ada wal-hana’a bil wathifa al-jideeda. Kolooha Min Barakat Al-Eid. I’m so happy for you!!! :smile:

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  • Thanks!! Allah yibarik feekom inshallah! :)

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  • [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Leone. Leone said: I am sick and tired of looking for work!!! NO MORE! | Rebellious …: I would always feel my heart racing, the .. http://bit.ly/E4h35 [...]

  • Congratulations Mona! It’s about time somebody got smart and hired you. Godd luck.

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  • Congratulations!
    :)

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  • @Mona
    Hey Mona your’re comp science right?

    Back in university I had to take C++ and java (both at an intro level). They were very tough courses!!! I remember from C++: Cin, Cout, for loop, do loop and while loop…..looool!!!!! I dont rememebr jack from java, but I remember it was somewhat similar to C++. I also had people from comp science take intro math courses for math major students, and they’d find it very difficult because it was pure and not applied math. Programming has never really clicked with me. Even though sometimes I have to do some programming at work, but I have no problem because it’s pretty repetative so there’s no need to get creative.

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  • @Mona
    Web developer? Wow! Awesome! :)

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  • Damn, you got me.
    Congratulation! :)

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  • Congrats! Very well written post. I don’t think there is anyone who isn’t fooled by the post! Hope you will be building fun web apps going forward. :up:

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  • Mabrook Mona!

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  • Damn, girl! You got me (and everyone) good!!
    Congratulations! I’m sure you will be everything they are looking for and more.

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  • MABROOKKKK !

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  • Awesome!!!! You really really got me! Am a long time salient reader for your blog and kinda understood what you’ve been going through and when I read that post I was like (this can’t be happening to her!!!!) and then “SNAP” you hit us with the good news … :) very well written post :) the ending was worth reading the post :)))))

    AND now that you got it out of your system (in to ours, heheehee) enjoy your job and make every moment counts :)

    Am really happy for you… Alf Mabrook :))))

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  • Congratulations and all the best…any company to have you working for them is lucky. You do great work keep us updated on whats happening.

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