I am not like them
I had a pretty interesting conversation with my mother. She thinks since I am stable and happy, that maybe I should get out of the house more often and find Arab friends.
They are everywhere!
It’s so easy to find Arab girls who are in my age group to hang out with. So easy in this city, this country, this life time! NOT!
Mother: “Mona, why don’t you go out to restaurants with Arab friends and stuff?”
Me: “You want me to find Arab girls in my age group who want to be friends with me?”
Mother: “Sure. Why not?”
Me: “Yah, why would they even bother with a person like me?”
Mother: “Why, what is wrong with you?”
Me: “You are kidden? Where can I find Arab girls my age who are not married? Who would want to be friends with me? You know Arabs! If they are married or even engaged, and you are not, they don’t want to talk to you or be friends with you.”
Mother: “You know, you are right. Married Arab girls only have friends who are married. They don’t like to bring friends or hang out with friends that are not.”
Me: “Now you understand.”
Mother: “What about ‘Lisa’? Why doesn’t she come anymore or you talk to her?”
Me: “I don’t think she cares either. Why would she? I am living in another city, and she has friends over there that she can see more often. Why would she care anymore about me? She barely talks to me. Plus, what does it matter anymore? I am happy to have a job. I get out of the house. I am satisfied.”
Mother: “So you are gonna stay like this?”
Me: “I never complained. I got a job. I get out of the house half the day. That’s enough for me.”
Obviously she knows I will never get married, and now I gave her a confirmation that I am too old and no one in my Arab age group would be friends with me. Everyone moved on. This is the Arab Girl’s life who is not married by the time she is 25!
Blah Blah, Culture, Depressed, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!
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I was just wondering Mona.. I know a lot of arabs and/or muslims do not let their daughter move out until she is married. So if you never get married does that mean you have to live in your family’s house forever?
@Leila
I give my parents money to help out. Almost like a rent payment. So I can rent here forever! Free home cooked food!
I know what you mean. Some Arab girls have this weird idea that unmarried and disengaged girls will go after their husbands/fiancées. Its sad really… but anyways, they are always interfering and asking personal questions which are really not their business so yeah… you’re better off working and chilling at home with your family. Anyways best wishes
You got the main reason down! That’s how all those girls here think. I didn’t know about or realize it till I slowly started losing friends who got married. They stopped talking to me all of a sudden. Then someone told me that that is the main reason why. It’s like they are married or engaged to a guy they can’t trust. Isn’t it sad?
Yeah, I mean they become so defensive and overprotective of their husbands/fiancées and start even mixing with girls who they are not fond of just because they’re married or engaged… It’s sad… I mean you’ve been through so much together and just because suddenly they got married and you didn’t u can’t be friends. My best friend got married earlier this year and alhamduliah we are still best friends I suppose its because she’s Malay and not Arab. Keep things cool the way they are~!
this is funny mona but u shoulden say u wont ever get marryed ya never know what will happen
Hey,
I’m arab… and I’m 25… and gasp.. I’m not married…. wanna hang out??? wait… I live in Nova Scotia. Crap! Hey we can be friends still though, right?
Btw, all my older female cousins got married in their 30s. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Who gives a shit about what other douchy arabs thing. Age is but a fuckin’ number. It’s not a life choice. Some people need to get a grip on life.
LOL I forgot Arab females also avoid…
1.) The Widowed (especially at a young age)
2.) The Divorced (husband thief alert)
3.) The One Who Only Conceives Females (she might jinx my boys…)
Hehe… the fucked up superstitions… LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
I see the same type of behavior when it comes to being single and having married friends. So often your best friend gets married and slowly they are no longer your friend anymore. I tend to think that many times people are friends with others because they have something in common. Since they are now married, and you are not– there is not that commonality anymore.
Not to get too personal, but is there any reason why you cannot hang out with non-Arab friends instead? I have seen some married couples who don’t mind hanging out with singles. I would not let the fact that they are of a particular belief stop you from enjoying an evening with friends. If for some reason (whatever reason) these so called friends no longer want to hang out with you– you have to wonder why they were your friend to begin with.
What is this magic figure of 25, I have known Arab women getting married at 40, OK the exception and not the rule. Then what is this about marrying an Arab only. The only limits are self imposed, we live in a limitless world if we so choose.
Mona please don’t despair! I don’t know why on earth 99% of the arab gals wont’ give you the time of day when you are single and then BAM when you are married, all of a sudden they wanna be buddy buddy. Then you know their freindship is fake.
Too bad she lives in San Diego (away from my parents, on her own, imagine that)
They do that to my sis, who by the way is 29 and not married nor does she plan on it any time soon
And as Christopher said, what about non Arabs? Ive found that 99% of the time they are less likely to backstab and well tell it like it is. Not all nicey up front and gossip behind your back.
Ba3dayn ya ukhti, I’m married and have tons of single Arab friends. Most of my friends mind you are in their mid thirties, unmarried and enjoying life! I envy them
I prefer my single freinds cause I don’t have to deal with their obnoxious hubbies and they are more to be around 
And mind you Im 30-something with 2 kiddos.
Don’t let it bother you!
Ok Addendum to my post…
This is why I figure you are damned if you do, damned if you dont with the majority of arab girls, from my experience.
1. If you are married, they get jealous “How did so and so get married before me? “(Oh yeah this happened when I got married even though I was over 25)
2. If you arent married they are thinking “Oh look at me I’m married, I got married before her. I was married right out of high school or whatever so I am beautiful” (not knowing that their parents probably couldn’t wait to get rid of them and the guy they married is using them as a trophy) Yup and I told a girl that cause she kept saying how she got married at 17. I was like “Cause you parents did not want another mouth to feed so they married you off, not as if you are Miss Beautiful, so quit making up for your lack of self confidence by boosting your confidence” (damn I’m mean)
Great response. I so agree… these girls think life for them is wonderful when actually they don’t know they are a liability and a burden on their parents… I do however agree that for Arab-Muslim girls its better to be the property and responsibility of your parents and not another man!
Mona where are youre non arab friends? You live in canada, Canadian girls are so fun! =)
By the way, any guy that wants to cheat, WILL find a way to cheat, I dont know why girls think they can control a mans behavior. Plus, most men (that like women), look at other women (doesnt mean anything more will happen) and that might include youre friends, married or unmarried, depending on how much of a pig he is,lol!
Lastly, Why do muslim women, whenever theyre with their husbands, always GRIP HIS ARM whenever I walk past them? =) Its quite insulting to other women, how anti feminist of them.
Hi Mona, I always enjoy reading your little conversations with your mom! Thanks for having my ad at ur site today.
The problem with Arab girls, married or not, is the amount of trash talking and gossiping we do. I hate that feeling like I’m being judged. There is no relaxing around Arab women, so there’s no real connection for me.
I’ve noticed that the married vs. single not hanging out goes both ways. My few real Arab girlfriends always assume that my husband expects me to be with him 24/7 and that I want to hang out with other married girls so they’re reluctant to make plans with me. I’ve had to explain that a) my husband is not a psycho and realizes that I need my own space and b) Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I suddenly have any interest in being friends with people I had no interest in knowing before. Also, I’m definitely not worried about my friends “stealing” my husband, he’s too high maintenance!
@Mais
So true.
They grip their hubbies arms cause of their lack of self confidence.
Any woman who is confident in her relationship should not have to validate it in any way.
@ Mrs. S
“Also, I’m definitely not worried about my friends “stealing” my husband, he’s too high maintenance”
LOL that’s how I feel about mine.
I agree. I’m 25 and I can totally relate. I don’t really have any married friends because they always end up becoming non-friends after marriage because they just totally change or cut you off. I don’t have time to waste trying to be friends with people who don’t appreciate my friendship. I think the most annoying thing is when people ask ‘when are you getting married?’. WHO CARES. I mean seriously — it’s like they think that single girls think about getting married 24/7! Married life does not = happiness and a perfect life. Sometimes I think they think that being single is contagious.
It doesn’t matter at what age you marry Mona, your going to be with him forever anyways, so take your time ya know.
Can I be ever so cheeky and digress for a minute guys? Mona please forgive me for this and under normal circumstances I’d never do this. But as you have so many intelligent readers, I just wanted to raise awareness for a cause that I only found out recently.
Its for women (actually little girls) who are married off really young and then they give birth as a child and can go thru complications and end up with a big hole (down there) and it makes them incontinent and their husbands sometimes chuck them out etc and society forsakes them and they live alone in poverty with no help…horrible it makes me shudder just thinking of it. So I just wanted people to have awareness of whats going on and if anyone can help or donate then God Bless you and if not then God bless you too and perhaps you can tell others about it.
http://www.virginunite.com/Templates/News.aspx?nid=96e9b78a-cc3b-4c6e-b4e4-bc0ba18184c1&cid=361ec6b0-0bb2-4265-854b-d7f91f3c9a2b&id=af38fb22-0da4-4af6-902a-7e063f25124a
also
http://www.endfistula.org/
thanks guys,
Mahsa xxx
@Incandescent Chimera
Lool… sad but true!!
@Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)
It’s hard to find non-Arabs that will accept me for who I am. I always seemed to meet non-Arabs that question me too much and think everything about me and my religion is beyond weird.
Hahahaha!!
Although I am not Arab, it’s nice to know I’m not alone being my age & single. I swear, late 20s is the hardest age to find love, everyone either gets married young or doesn’t get married until their 30s. Oh well, I can wait. My thoughts is I would rather marry someone that fits me than get married just to get married.
Favorable Heart in Manama.
27 year old average built man with excellent career prospects and culinary skills. Likes moonlit walks on reclaimed beaches and soft african drum music and is willing to share a toothbrush. Hates dishonesty and lima beans. Looking for unmarried woman who has lived a little and who has lost her naive childish nature behind. Prefers a working girl who has her own cash flow, interests, and suitcases.
Contact Favorable Heart for a date you will never forget. Clingy, ignorant women don’t waste your time.
On a more serious note.. find a group of half-breeds. Half arab, half something else.. or just half something and half something else.
From my experience (and I have moved around ALOT, making friends where I go).. the best people are those who come from more than one culture, who hang out with people of more than one culture, and date inter-culturally (is that a word?)… find those people.. and I promise that you will start to enjoy your social life.
that is of course if you are bothered.. but you are not, you are concentrating on your career. so good luck!