Every day, I wonder about the people that I have met in my life. I feel that everyone I ever met served some type of purpose to help me grow as a person. Unfortunately, no one understood me or accepted me for who I am, but I am only talking about people I generally met through life. What about people that I considered friends?
Having a steady friendship with anyone is a big time chore now a days. I don’t know why either! I feel that I have to sacrifice who I am, or change my personality to adjust to theirs. It’s like I need to do something on my part to satisfy them and keep them in touch with me on a regular basis. If I don’t do something, they won’t do anything on their end either.
The problem with me I am a giver. I like to give, but I hardly ever ask for anything in return. I don’t mean it in a material sense, but like saying hello, how you are, and that’s it. I don’t ask for anything. I just believe that all the friendships I ever had were based on using me. I am only remembered by people when they need something.
I think that is another main reason why I kept this blog alive. On a daily basis, I feel that I am alone. I am always alone, and I can’t seem to find people to accept me for who I am or even remember me. So I made this blog to see if someone out there cares. Do people out there care to read my thoughts and see what I am thinking? Do they want to talk to me and get to know me for who I am? Are my thoughts messed up and I am the one with problems, or I just can’t understand people?
I don’t need to change who I am on the internet for people to accept me. That’s why I keep this up.
However, why do I need to in real life? I think I just met all the wrong people in my life, or maybe I accept everyone for who they are, but not everyone is like me. That’s the problem, not everyone is like me, and I cannot find many people who will understand people like me.
If I had to analyze my personality in depth, I would say that I am too honest, very accepting of others, very reserved, and likes to give and not take.
Unfortunately, analyzing myself is not going to help me in life. All I can do is learn about others, grow as a person from meeting so many different people with eccentric personalities, and live my life knowing that there are people out there that maybe like me for who I am. I have not met them yet, but I am hopeful. And maybe they want to actually be friends with me, and not expect me to do everything their way, only think their way, and to have the same exact interests as them.
We are all different, but some of us are rare individuals that need a bit more understanding of why we think and do the things we do.