Comments on: Are you one of those prisoners?

By: Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)

Christopher (AKA: CaJoh) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:52:16 +0000

When I was single I used to think that I would never (I’ll repeat that) NEVER find someone. I wanted to be married and felt that my chances were pretty slim. I concentrated on being a better person and before you know it I met my wife. If you are interested in the story, I posted about it on my blog:
http://cajoh.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-i-met-my-wife.html

Much like a watched pot never boils, wanting to find a partner doesn’t happen if you look for it. So often we have this laundry list of the perfect mate and when you actually do get married you find that the laundry list doesn’t apply.

Look inward and find out who you are and how you want to be perceived by others. Before you know it you will meet someone who likes you for “Who” you are and not “What” you are. Then who knows… we may hear wedding bells soon enough.

By: M.N

M.N — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:50:11 +0000

Not being committed to a long term traditional marriage is encouraged, not neccessarily intentionally, by the way western industrialised societies and economies are shaped. Being free and single has many advantages in the West, but biggest pitfall to avoid is ending up just living a self-centred life just counting the days, and the money you make and spend and things you buy. Since my marriage I have more responsibilities and have to make more effort during the week and weekend, but I do not feel like I am wasting my days or in need/motivation to make effort for women’s attention. Also I feel my extra efforts are for someone(s) who are well worth it and who would reciprocate with same for me or even much more. My time now is far far less wasted on non-productive activities. If you’re not interested in marriage do what you like and shape your life in a way you’re happy with. If you are interested in marriage you do not need to shape it according to old customs/norms that belong to a different place or a different time. Best way to meet the right man is to to work on yourself to be the woman who that nice man needs and is looking for, place yourself in the right environments to meet him, then just wait without making too much effort or being impatient, your naseeb will come to you

End of lecture

By: Are you one of those prisoners? | Rebellious Arab Girl | arablives

Are you one of those prisoners? | Rebellious Arab Girl | arablives — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:34:18 +0000

[...] original here: Are you one of those prisoners? | Rebellious Arab Girl Share and [...]

By: George Meyer

George Meyer — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:46:13 +0000

I met my wife in college. We were taking a sysadmin program, and ended up being partners on a number of labs together. Assorted study dates later we got together, and now we have rugrats and a mortgage. Pretty straightforward.

We were both “looking” at the time, and we were both around 30, and so much more secure in our personalities.

By: mohamed

mohamed — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:26:49 +0000

@marc
Your wife is narrow minded for saying what she said and you’re a jerk for mentioning what your wife said. Look, your wife married you because she fell in love with you and not because you can “handle” her, so don’t get too excited thinking that Arab men cannot handle someone like your wife, they can handle far more than that.

Salam

By: marc

marc — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:00:54 +0000

@mohamed Excuse me. I am a jerk. I did not call you a name. On the other hand you called me a jerk and my wife narrow minded. You sir are the narrow minded jerk. @mohamed

By: alicia

alicia — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:26:43 +0000

Hey Mona,

Good topic. I have always been career first. But I just entered my mid-30’s and would like to get married. Several of my friends that got married in their 20’s are divorced or on their way to divorce court. I do wonder if people that get married later really stay married longer.

By: mac

mac — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:11:12 +0000

@Craig

I must be the other divorced person and now I find out I’m a marginal error? What a day. At least I’m in good company.

By: Craig

Craig — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:27:53 +0000

@Mona Only 2 out of 44 people who replied are divorced!? The divorced people just didn't take the poll! Except for me! And somebody else.

By: mohamed

mohamed — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:38:30 +0000

@Mona I did lots of rechearch on this topic, mainly on the Islamic rulings of refusing and accepting a spouse. I argue, but I don't fight. ok maybe with marc because he's a jerk for saying what he said and he crossed the line, so I had to talk back.