Is it acceptable?

“Islamically acceptable?” Hmm… Interesting question… Seriously, I think that some people think that criticising some aspects of traditions& way of thinking in Arab (From the Muslim to Atheist passing by the Christian & even but forgotten Jew trends) societies is like attacking the religion “tout court”. If I were you, in the worst case I’ll reply to him harshly No, as I didn’t see (Let’s say yet) anything immoral, so I think it’s preferable to leave religion in peace.

WTF??????? I am seething at what he said.
you know I am so sick of people using religion in everything. Problem is, people use it to their advantage and when it works for them.
This person apparently is once again, threatned by a smart woman. It is a challenge to his small, insignificant self and he is trying to make him self more macho by putting a woman down. He apparently is one of those overzealous freaks who wants to keep women in the kitchen, behind closed doors and subserviant.
You know, I’d just tell him to Fudge off. Islamically acceptable my foot. If he knew Islam, he would not act holier than thou and make his own “fatwas” In Arabic, I’d tell him to go “ballit al ba7r”
Gosh I’m so worked up about this

In very very very very real Islam, your blog is very very very acceptable.

@Mona
yup, not too worry about “labelling”.

This is fucked… sorry but its true! I mean everyone and anyone has a right to express themselves in anyway over the internet. They can talk about anything and discuss their desires and ideas openly. Why does Islam put restrictions on that? I think the writer of this email has issues. Because your site is not provocative or offensive to anyone. It discusses moral/ethical dilemmas with many other observations – sort of like a diary of a girl who is describing and opening to the world around her. Islam is the religion of communication… and the Quran itself is a form of mass communication; constantly urges the general public to share their beliefs. So why is it wrong to have a blog? Rather than criticizing many anti-Islamic and infidel blogs online he chooses to question yours… Goes to show some people have issues and still live in the 14 Century!

Salaam Mona, how have you been?
I am guessing some people assume from your title (rebellious woman) you are rebelling against all kinds of societal rules (I am not saying your title suggests this – some people WANT to understand it that way, hence read it into it).
It may also be the \rebellious\ carries the connotation of the woman being disobedient/naashiz. Even if he understands the English word \rebellious\ in this sense, he still has no relevance or juding entitlement over you. Since you are not married this would concern your parents only, and only they would have the right to demand respect, right?

@ Incandescent Chimera:
I understand what you say, that these people would rather criticize haters than smart young women. this is not the kind of the mindset these “missionaries” have though.
They believe it will earn them good deeds to better the Muslim brothers and sisters threatened to go astray. They are strict and harsh with them rather than with external enemies. They frequently cite ahadith saying Muslims have to watch over each other – there again there is also a hadith saying one should better their own soul and acts, rather than criticizing others.
They basically pick what they want to keep in their mindset – and let’s face it, it gives lots of people a very good feeling to condescendingly correct others.

I just realized the heading of the blog actually says to keep the values – this actually implies the blog is not rebelling against everything at all

@Dina
These people sadly, are enemies towards Islam more than they are friends. Why? Because when they place all these restrictions on people and impose their own rules they redefine Islam in their own way… in some cases its not related to Islam itself. So many movements and groups send wrong messages to people about religion because they are so narrow-minded and backward. Like for instance the Tableejis and Wahabis which have no relationship to Islamic foundations, merely just Muslims redefining Islam in their own way and making the religion look like primitive crap.

LOL sorry for being slow
but you know I think this is particularly easily overread for regular readers – you seldom read the heading of a blog again after a year or so
My apologies still!

(P.s. @people who reflect only over things that suit their mindset – also termed prejudiced thinking – I bet the people of the kind do not bother to reflect your heading – the “rebellious” is already too much for them )

I fully agree Incandescent Chimera. (I just meant to give their perspective on things – “bettering fellow Muslims as a duty in Islam” – rather than agreeing with it; quite on the contrary, I do NOT agree with them!)

@Incandescent Chimera
Very well put and my thoughts as well.

I may not be the best qualified person to comment on this subject. However, from a historical perspective Islam allowed women to have their own businesses and keep their own money. Women assumed political leadership and there were a couple of queens in past historic. The problem now is basically a problem of a chauvinistic male interpretation of Islam. It is actually a step backwards from conditions prevailing at the beginnings of Islam.
Your blog is certainly provocative, but in no way does it attack or detract of Islam. It addresses bad habits of Arabs in general. Being Arabs we love to label and when we cannot bring a good argument we invoke religion because it tends to intimidate people and label them as anti Muslims, a charge no one likes to be accused of. It is the last resort of people devoid of the ability to argue and accept a different and opposing opinion.

I love your blog…you always have very thought-provoking post.
I sometimes get the same thing…I’m Catholic, and they’re big into the “men must rule over their wives due to Eve’s original sin”. (as many of the Protestant denominations are…no offense to any Catholics!).
I don’t think God made me a second-class citizen just because I’m a woman. And I wish good luck to any person, man or woman, who attempts to shut me up….ha-ha.
Keep up the great work,
Jennie

There are so many problems with the Arab away of thinking that it’s ridiculous. I’m actually writing a book on that, and there’s so much to say flowing through my brain cells.. which is both a good and a bad thing: good because I have something to write about, but bad because I got OCD and I can’t just go spilling my brains all over the pages.

So I decided I might just publish my book like this: title it “Arabs are Hypocrites”, leave the pages blank, and on the last page write “The End.”

Now the question is, what has caused these self righteous chauvinists to complain about woman and their ‘roles’?
I blame Alanis Morissette. Darn those free woman complaining about how terrible men can be, oh and how ironic it is to meet the man of your dreams, and meet his beautiful wife.

@Dina
Salamu 3alaikum Dina, how are you?

\there again there is also a hadith saying one should better their own soul and acts, rather than criticizing others.\

It is true, but you see sometimes we see Muslims do something which goes against Islam and it’s important that we give da3wa to them. When we do approach them, we must talk to them in a way thats calm and to explain to them what are the Islamic rulings. On the other hand if we criticise them, they’ll probably rebell out even more…la ikraha bi deen

Salams

@Dena B

\This person apparently is once again, threatned by a smart woman.\
lool!! Here we go again…

Out of all the problems the world is facing right now because of male oriented desicions in political, economic development and industrialization this guy still has his balls in a knot because of his ego. What a disgrace.

If anyone is interested, (abe you should read this) I have just finished reading the united nations population fund (unfpa) state of world report 2009. It is very interesting and one of the topics it adresses gender (in)equality throughout developed and undeveloped countries. We REALLY have to think of gender equality and include more women in the workforce to address the problems that the world is facing because of male oriented economic and political development and production.

Alanis morisette songs bear little to no weight on the daily lives and harsh realities from women in developing (and developed) countries across the world. It is a fact that women do most the labor in the world whilst men hold most the income and land (over 95% worldwide statistic). No one cares about western girls songs and problems. It does not bear any weighting on my or most (muslim) womens reality in life. If I act like Britney spears, the reality is that people will call me a washed up used whore. If other muslim woman act like that, they will be disowned or killed (honor killings)

I bet in 100 years time when we’re all up to our necks in water and choking from acid rain these men will still be thinking of their egos. There really is no hope left.

Is there a law in Islamic Sharia Law addressing the problem of mans ego?

Probably not. Islamic Sharia Law is only concerned with the behaviors of girls and women. I guess if you dont have equal political economic or social rights, you might as well rebel (honor killing), deal with it and suffer (you deserve it, worthless vagina, now cover up!), or become atheist (burn in fires a million times the fires of earth for eternity)

Now go to youre room or youll be beaten for being unreasonable.

Ibrahim is having an orgasm over my last post. LOL.

@Incandescent Chimera
You’re absolutely right, you also forgot to mention the salafis. The thing about wahabis and salafis, they don’t follow any school of thought, whether it’s Hanafi, Shafi’i, Maliki or Hanbali. As for tableejis, I don’t know much about them.

Mona :
@C.J.
Oh oh oh ohhhh!! Can I pick any random blank page and write, “But not Mona and her Rebellious Arab posse!”

Umm… only if you marry me. LOL

You didn’t get to drink your coffee?!?!?! He may have just saved your life!! I once got a cup of coffee on my way to jum’ah prayer, and some weirdo chided me over buying from Starbucks because it was owned by ‘the jews’. So maybe he saved your from sin and you didn’t even know it!! lol….what a world we live in.

The next time someone asks whether your website is “acceptable” just say yes and move on with your life. Arguing with these people requires bringing yourself down to their level of stupidity. It just isn’t worth your time.

Rather than writing a post and being upset, just delete the email and pity them. That’s advice from my momma! They aren’t worth your time, and you’ll grow old trying to understand how people could ever think such things.

Besides, you should be going to work not writing on your blog!!! someone’s slacking!!!!!!

@Mais
Did you just say “orgasm?” You are SOOO going to hell.

(jk)

C.J. lol. Youre cute. Yes I did, and I may or may not go to hell for that.

However, I will definitely not go to hell for wanting to protect and nurture little arab boys and girls. I love and care deeply about arab boys and girls and I would like them to be brought up to face the challenges they are going to encounter in the future. Western people and western girls dont look for arab boys and girls best interests, so I dont care about them. Also, these waste of time ideologies and theories needs to stop and we need to teach muslim and arab boys and girls how to survive in the next century.

@Mais
Wow, I’m speechless, ahsanty ya ohkty. Now the key is how to approach them.

@Mais

ekh, worrying about the external world is only going to lead to suffering. If you concentrate on making yourself happy, then happiness flows and rubs off like a pollen unto a flower.

I really dislike the fact that you said ‘Western’ boys and girls, due to the fact that the Christian communities in the west are just as honorable and educated as many of the other communities. The maghrib after the days of al-rasool (pbuh) was northern africa, and Islam killed in order to spread its ‘peace’. Now the west is a new front, one that does indeed waste its expansion and money on killing in the name of good. So America is just propagating something Islam used to do, just on a hellish scale, but the uma has learned from past mistakes and hopefully America will too.

Learn to spread love and tolerance, just as Islam is, and always will be, not to expect the worst from ‘closed minded Westerners’.

How could you not care about the blood of Adam in which We are All from?

Salam Mohamed!
“It is true, but you see sometimes we see Muslims do something which goes against Islam and it’s important that we give da3wa to them. When we do approach them, we must talk to them in a way thats calm and to explain to them what are the Islamic rulings. On the other hand if we criticise them, they’ll probably rebell out even more…la ikraha bi deen”

I believe we actually agree on this, although seeing it from different angles. I too believe gently suggesting advice to someone can be a great deed, but to me the key is if there is a signal it may be wanted or needed. Uninvited advice carries a great potential of being intrusive, and sometimes downright disrespectful. And it can seldom be stripped of the condescending quality. If on the other hand approaches are gently made, and the person signlas it may want advice it is a great deed, and potentially of great help.
The people we are talking about at the occasion of the unfortunate blunt emailer unfortunately force their advice on people, and by telling everybody what they are doing wrong islamically somehow elevate themselves undully. (Who is so great to judge everybody else? IF there were a person so great, that person would very likely be humble and modest, right?)

@Mais
I don’t see how or why “westerners” should be obligated or otherwise expected to look for the best interest of Arab children anymore than Arabs are expected to act for the good of “westerners.” Arab children have their own parents who, sadly, don’t know what’s best for their own children.

Muslim is not the opposite of Western, and neither does Arab equal Muslim. I noticed that Arab Muslims get really pissed when the media portrays all Muslims as brown, middle-eastern people, yet every Arab Muslim I know uses the two words interchangeably.

I am currently writing a book that somewhat relates to this topic, so I would definitely love to hear more from you. What do you say? I got MSN.

@Mona
A woman? Thank Allah I’m not a woman! They’re all going to burn in hell for their sins. Besides, what are you doing here wasting your time on the internet? You should be in the kitchen washing the dishes. Now go make me a sandwich.

I hope that helps you decide your answer (i.e. agree) to my proposal. (read: arranged marriage)

When I say western I didnt mean to describe the people living in that particular geographical area. I meant the ‘modern’ culture of euro/na. Many ideals coming from the romantic and surreal periods of history in terms of values/art/culture. That includes liberal and democratic ideologies. Key word being liberal.

In terms of comparing American wars versus Islamic wars. Americans have a history of removing those in power who are a threat to them. Their ideology is (close to) pure Capitalism. I have briefly mentioned the disasters created by this form of development. Arab/Muslim boys and girls are going to see the effects of these disasters, and I would like them to be prepared for that. I like to care for the muslim and arab children, I love them, I hope that you can come to peace with that.

Mais, your statements for sure are interesting. I think I will have to chew some more on them though!

Offcourse not all arabs are Muslim. But in this particular post directed towards Mona, I feel obligated to mention that its not right for sweet muslim children to be subject to these things.

Other religions of arab ethnicity are not subject to these kinds of statements so its not in the topic. I hope that makes sense to you. I might agree to talk with you but I need my copyright fee for my intellectual property.

“As for marrying you, I am a shallow Arab girl. If you aren’t good looking enough by my side, then I don’t want you. I have a rep to protect!”

LOL!

And you forgot the money! the house(s)!! the car(s)! the bling bling!

Hey Dina, hope youre doing good, yeah sure take youre time. lol.

hehe I was just joking about the cliché assuming YOU were joking about the beautiful man thingy
But nothing wrong with wanting a presentable man (although to be honest when I do not like a person’s character they lose attractiveness for me, man or woman, and if I am at ease with someone’s character they become attractive to me.. a good “alternative” mirror I guess!)

Hello mais, yes doing fine, hope you are good too

@Dina
Nice to talk to you again Dena,

I read a lot about religion and I talk to religious people quite often, so I know what you mean by “Uninvited advice”, but I believe that if the person is highly qualified and has experience in giving da3was, then he/she should give uninvited advice, there’s actually a hadith that says to give da3was, but I cannot find it anywhere, if I find it insh’Allah I’ll show it to you. I’m glad you agree with me because to be honest you’re a tough cookie..lool!!

Also, numma hakaina akher marra, iza za3ultik ana mitussef kteer. I never got the chance to tell you that.

Salam

@Mona

You have a world of patience. Bravo =)

I’m now wondering whether the person who emailed you intended on sounding volatile? If he really felt like women had no place in the mainstream world, he probably would have just outright said that. And if he really felt like this blog was truly unIslamic, he would have again been more forthright. But I can’t help but notice he’s somewhat vague as to what he is actually thinking or feeling.

“considering the fact that you are a woman marketing yourself across the world and opening the doors for mean, inconsiderate harsh people”
“Many muslims are in different level of their religion as far as how to practice the religion and what is correct and what is not, but from what you have studied and know about your religion, is this acceptable?”

What catches my eye is the phrase “opening the doors for mean, inconsiderate harsh people…” it almost seems like he would rather see you protected than exposed to the assholes out there. It’s traditional, not extremist. But if he had actually read your blog, he would have already known that you are able to handle yourself

Then he moves on to say that people have differences in how they practice their religion. That’s self reflexive, really. Maybe he could have better rephrased the question, but surely he is inquiring about a more subtle issue: what makes you believe that you are more right than the extremists? Aren’t you essentially doing the same thing….preaching about issues to fit your agenda?

People like Abe aren’t angry or extreme, but they are probably more conservative than what we are used to. I ask the same question to myself everyday: what makes my thoughts so iron-clad? After all, there is a difference between intelligence and wisdom. I myself forget that more often than I should…and I feel like a lotta people on this website forget that as well….

What Mona does on this website is to challenge those who believe in the absolutes. I respect that. She doesn’t solely focus on the extremists of the world, but she also focuses on the average people in the world as well. Traditional Arabs, Traditional Muslims. Those who are open to change but don’t want to let go of their values. She challenges the everyday, not simply the outliers of extremism =)

Its incredible, really. She discovers something new in her world of patience every time she logs into her blog.

Bravo.

crap, sorry for being so long. i have a lotta time on my hands!!!!!!!!!

Mona :
@C.J.
If you read my post a few days ago, us Arab girls have super powers in cursing men to hell!
Get it?
As for marrying you, I am a shallow Arab girl. If you aren’t good looking enough by my side, then I don’t want you. I have a rep to protect!

Someone who looks good next you? With you being pretty and all? Good luck with that! HAAAH!