“Oh it is obvious, they don’t like us!”
After the events of the year 2001, and the way the world portrayed us as Arabs, the psychological well being of Arabs have been affected dramatically. When something negative is said to a person who happens to be of Arab descent, then the first thing they say, “Oh, they know we are Arab, that’s why they treat us badly and hate us!”
In reality, when a non-Arab communicates with us, 99% of the time they have no clue where we are from. We are mistaken to be anyone else but Arab. And those from other cultures are mistaken as us. It all depends on what we wear really. Which is usually an Islamic attire, and not really an Arab related one. However, for those of us Arabs here that wear nothing that distinguishes as from the rest, then the likelihood of anyone figuring out our real ethnicity is slim to none.
So, why do Arabs constantly blame everyone else?
Us Arabs like to justify everything. We have to have a reason of why someone treated us like crap, or not giving us the level of utter respect that we deserve. Something in our heads keeps telling us that we are better than everyone else, and we must be treated the best way possible. Unfortunately, when you live in such a multicultural land, you are just like everyone else. Unless you are some famous Hollywood actor walking in the streets, then most likely, no one gives two shits about you.
So why am I mentioning all this?
You see, my lovely mother that I adore dearly, is a big time social butterfly. She knows people. A lot of people. And 99% of those people are Arab. So she keeps telling me random shit about what they say. The moment I hear it, and her believing it, makes me want to scream. My mother thinks that Arabs in this city, especially the older generation, gets treated badly or not given the proper customer care in anything, because they are Arab.
How did they know anyways they were Arab?
The moment she says that, I say, “Everyone treats everyone badly. You should see the customer service horror stories I read on the internet from “Non-Arabs!” Being an Arab has nothing to do with it. Why do you Arabs keep thinking that if the world doesn’t treat you well, then they are against you because you are an Arab!?”
Then my mom screams at me and tells me, “Aren’t you ARAB?”
When the conversation reaches that level, I just get up and leave. I don’t know why parents have to say that. We have no shame of being Arabs. Our generation has no shame with our identity and roots. We just disagree with a lot of things that you say and think. Things changed drastically. We are just like everyone else. If you believe you are different, walk the streets like you are an alien, then most likely you will unconsciously think that.
You define your roots. Your roots don’t define you.
Blah Blah, Confused, Culture, Featured, Random Thoughts, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!
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i have nothing 2 say but good post
Good post, Mona. But yeah… Arabs are not treated badly by non-Arabs at least not everyone. There are some open-minded people who disbelieve in the common stereotypes. and some people are really sympathetic towards Arabs… but don’t you think some Arabs have a superiority complex and they mistreat non-Arabs? I dunno lah… but yeah Arabs need to be more productive I reckon.
Yes I do think that!! Hence, the point of this post!
1 thing i can say is i am in the 1% that do know where u r from (that u r arab)n this 2 me is just dandy lol even better its amazing i love people that r dirrernt things that r direrent i mean jeezs if god made every1 the same there woulden be no fun in that n maybe those arabs that blame others (non arabs)4 hateing them or think they hate them maybe they should try being friends with a non arab or at least give them a chance wheres the hurt in that !salams 2 all (note 2 self i gotta stop writeing something n going n then thinking of something else n coming back 2 write again hehe)
It is easy to blame the lack of service and respect to being an “ARAB”. It is much simpler than us having to stand up for what is rightfully ours especially when it comes to customer service. I agree bad customer service does not distinguish between ethnic groups, it is just bad customer service.
However, there may be an element of truth when it comes to ethnic profiling issues in case of security or job related screening.
I was profiled for an extra security screening by a major US carrier, which I rationally accepted, taking the prevailing conditions into consideration, but I was naturally upset. However, I read a couple of articles about the TSA and it appears there are thousands of US citizens of non-Arab descent who are profiled.
All it takes is for us to stand up for what we think is rightfully ours and claim it. Surprise, surprise, we will get an apology and a better service most of the time.
Hello,
I love that post. Very insightful and refreshing to hear an Arab that isn’t too proud to state her mind – even if it may seem hurtful to some.
oh arabs they’re so narcist and always think they’re being the center of attention lol. I really get your point about what you wrote how whatever the world do, they always think it’s all about them. When they live in multicultural environment, reality bites them—everyone is seen being the same, nothing special; When they say everyone is being bad to them they’re actually asking, “why people don’t pay me larger portion of attention over other people?” hahaha.
I have a theory why many Arabs be that way. Their ancestors were living in isolated dessert when no people around to compare. It raised their belief of one and only people. This treat was then inherited generation by generation to this day.
Off course not all Arabs are like that. Some are even so humble and nice and so care to other people.
But it’s true that sometimes this act of narcism created some problems.
Thankyou Mona! I have to argue this case with my parents all the time (Egyptians). What annoys me the most is that they forget they also get treated WORSE in Egypt but they complain more about it in the Western world and just blame it on being ARAB
It’s all about personal responsibility. Speaking of customer service I received the WORST from my cable company and wrote a letter of complaint but I never once thought that the company was against me for being Hispanic.
Sometimes you will receive rude service because I personally think customer service is going down the toilet. And sometimes you meet rude people, and sometimes you meet racists. But not every event should be based on what ethnicity you are. And people need to remember that sometimes it is YOUR fault for whatever happened…and sometimes it isn’t but don’t automatically assume because you are of one group that people are against you because of that.
One thing I’ve noticed ever since I was a kid is that when people set themselves apart from everyone else, it can really get on people’s nerves. And I’m not talking about Arabs because I’ve never lived anywhere that had a large Arab community. Just in general! People who try to be accepted by others usually ARE accepted by others, and people who go out of their way not to be part of the community at large usually get treated with indifference at best and hostility at worst. And yes I’m even including whites in that… I’ve lived most of my life in areas where whites were a minority. Anyway, good post Mona! As usual
I have noticed that this tends to happen with other groups as well– mostly minorities who feel disenfranchised. I do find it a pity that anybody reacts that way and expects people to mis-treat them just because they are this or that.
Excellent post.
@Glenn
My brain is a dangerous weapon! 
I don’t care if it is hateful to some or all. I got a website, I pay the hosting, and I am not affiliated with anyone other than my brain!
@Dena H
True dat.. they are treated worse in their own homelands. That’s why the left it, or I believe they left it other than getting a piece of paper that says you are a citizen of the Western world.
@janet
I am not only talking about customer service through the phone, but also face to face like in a mall or store. That’s when Arabs get touchy.. but yah, I agree, it has nothing to do with race, but with bad services.
Its true they DONT like us. However, not much is really ever achieved by not liking an Arab. Youre better off becoming acquainted, sooner rather than later.
There might be some truth in what your mom is trying to say. Maybe she didn’t vocalize it well and it thus came off as arrogant, but its not like her grievances are totally isolated.
I’m curious… was your mother wearing a hijab when this all happened? Did she mention anything about how other people were being treated? The Islamic dress is not exclusively Arab attire, I know, but that’s neither here nor there. When someone looks at me, their first reaction is that I’m just like everyone else. It’s not as if my features have ‘Arab’ stamped all over me. But say my mom who wears a hijab, **or even with my dad who dresses like a normal American… you better believe that they’re looked at differently when they come up to the register speaking in a foreign accent. Most of the time people are pretty cool about it. And then you find sometimes that some people exhibit a certain tone and body language. Ambiguous as it may be, you have to wonder why a rep would do that if they weren’t the least bit uncomfortable with who they were talking to.
My point is that the vast majority of us in the West hold stereotypes for many races and ethnicities. Some are positive and others negative, but everyone holds stereotypes nonetheless. The effects of which can be seen everywhere: in schools, in women’s pay, in sports, and even in customer service. So its not that your mother was being treated differently because she was Arab. I don’t think that’s what she was trying to say. She felt like she was treated differently because she is, in fact, different.
With that said, its best to choose your battles wisely. I don’t think the older generations of Arabs have quite figured that out yet. When a person is profiled at an airport or if there is overt racism against a mosque, then I can see why people would mobilize for the sake of their culture. But if it’s something frivolous as with the ambiguous case of customer service, then maybe we should learn to get over ourselves and let some things go.
Murad cosign 100%
@Murad
No… my mom said that about other Arab women. My mom doesn’t wear a hijab, and people always think she is Greek, even with the accent. And my mom was never treated badly or even close to negativity, because my mom is feisty and always gets her way with customer service.
@Mona
aaahhh, I understand. My mom is the same way. But I have to admit, it’s gotten me some pretty sweet deals on clothes and telephone service, lol.
That still doesn’t negate my point, though. People hold stereotypes. Deep down everyone knows that, and there are times when our battles are justified. However,(and in the cause of our moms) I think that many Arabs take it to the point of paranoia. We need to get over that, and recognize that simple situations happen because of simple people.
@Mais
I’ve never had anyone cosign with me! Not even on a loan! Thanks!!
@Mona
although i should mention, I agree with you 100% on this article. It’s not like you negated civil rights when something seriosu happens. But rather you’re speaking directly about the everyday situation that are not so serious….
What else can i say..
i really adore you for who you are..
now that you got a good job, started to defend them! human nature, remember you just complained about bad treatment at your x-job place, what is the cause of oscillations in your mood? is it bi-polarity, feminine hormones, or human nature?
@pc of cake
I really don’t defend anyone but my self. I am just stated logical assumption and observations. If you want to start labeling me and analyzing my mood, then I suggest you quit while you are ahead. It’s an endless chore.