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I don’t know why

Some people continue wanting to get in touch with me.

Some people keep sending me SMS thinking, “oh, things are normal again. Been a few days, and she must have forgotten.”

Some people have no idea that I am serious, very revengeful and I would rather be left alone.

I really like being left alone. I don’t want to talk to people, or know their stories, or fill my brain with too many thoughts about someone else and forget me.

Can people leave me alone and let me concentrate on my life?

I am a bad friend and should never have friends.

I am a bad listener.

I am just a bad person who needs to be left alone and forgotten about.

I want my space.

I want to re-evalaute everything about me.

I want to find out my mistakes.

I want to correct my life.

I do not give a crap who reads my blog and what they think of me after so many years.

I just want to be left alone for a very long time till this phase ends.

Is that too much to ask?

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22 Comments

  • Sorry guys, but I am very stressed out and having a bad week. My posts don’t make sense and are very depressing. Well, I had a bad run for like oh, like 10 years, but last 2 or 3 weeks topped them all!

    Lucky I am still sane.. sort of! :D

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  • I’m sorry dear… u are a good friend we all love you and understand how u feel… atleast I think I do. You need some alone time to pamper yourself and enjoy your life. Love you, Mona. xoxo -Sarah

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  • Btw, you should consider changing the format of your blog… it looks a bit cluttered.

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  • [...] I don’t know why Posted by admin on January 23, 2010 random Some people continue wanting to get in touch with me. Some people keep sending me SMS thinking, “oh, things are normal again. Been a few days, and she must have forgotten.” Some people… [...]

  • I agree with @Incandescent Chimera, you are a good friend. :-) No matter how much you try to be forgotten, there will always be those who remember. I worry less about the people who won’t go away than about the day when it really happens and there is no one there.

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  • Can people leave me alone and let me concentrate on my life?

    I curious comment for someone who runs their own, rather popular, blog :twisted: Still, a wonderful irony to begin my day :cool:

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  • [...] I don’t know why Posted by admin on January 23, 2010 random [...]

  • keep yr head u up mona i think i can talk 4 most of us we r always here when ever u need us 2 make a comment or 2 salams

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  • A poem by John Donne:

    No man is an island entire of itself; every man
    is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
    if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
    is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
    well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
    own were; any man’s death diminishes me,
    because I am involved in mankind.
    And therefore never send to know for whom
    the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

    Mona, I know you hate getting unsolicited advice and that’s why I didn’t comment on your last post. But, it’s really not hard to look at the last post and combine it with this one and to see why you are struggling. I related somewhat to your last post because I was an outgoing kid with a lot of friends for most of my childhood, and I have vivid memories of all of my teachers during those years. For instance, a few of us bombed the hell out of our math teacher’s car in second grade (with snowballs, that’s how we do it in the US!) because he was such a nazi. Unfortunately he spotted a couple of us hiding in the bushes during the incident and called is in for a conference. He was so irate and so simultaneously funny while he was ranting at us that I actually started liking the guy after that. I recall the faces of every one of my teachers from nursery school up to about 10th grade, and some of them I respected more than my own parents. But then my Dad got divorced for the second time (I was living with him) and I became a quite hostile and uncommunicative kid after that. I don’t have any memories of my teachers from that point on. I was so busy tuning them out I don’t even know if any of them were likable people, let alone good teachers. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it may not be everyone else that is the problem. And even if it is, you solve the problem by connecting with better people, not by pushing people away.

    My 2 cents! Even though you didn’t ask :p

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  • I’m sorry that you are going through a difficult time…I agree with the previous poster though. If you keep pushing people away then one day nobody will be there for you. I hope you feel better soon!

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  • You guys misunderstood this post. I was not talking about you guys or people through my blog. I am talking about real people I know, and what they have done to me. In the end, they don’t care and think I will forget and things will just go back to normal. Life doesn’t work that way, and things change and has to change. I just need time to recuperate from all the craziness in life and focus on me, which I have not done before. However, I can’t do that if my mind is so clouded by other people bothering me and not even care about anything.

    I am fine.. and I used this blog for the number one obvious reason, to talk to people and see if the are willing to listen to me and give me their two cents as well.

    I welcome advice and I appreciate it from everyone, but as long as it is well thought of and appropriate regarding each post.

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  • @Incandescent Chimera
    Are you using Opera? There is a problem with that browser and my website. It is not accepting the javascript. Try another browser, I suggest FIREFOX! Or Chrome.. and you will see it just fine.

    DON’T USE OPERA PEOPLE TO VIEW MY SITE! The main page does not work yet and I need time to fix it.

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  • @Mona

    You guys misunderstood this post. I was not talking about you guys or people through my blog.

    Damn it, you’re spoiling the irony of the moment!

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  • @Meyrick Kirby
    I was just clarifying. It’s hard to get every single point across without any faulty details. I forget sometimes to elaborate my real points.

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  • @Mona
    Yes I am using Opera. Thanks for your help.

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  • Mona :
    @Meyrick Kirby
    I was just clarifying. It’s hard to get every single point across without any faulty details. I forget sometimes to elaborate my real points.

    Argh! Damn it, you’re still spoiling the irony. Don’t you realize I can go for a whole week on a good irony.

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  • It happens…Call it “life”…I think that’s why bloggers blog…it’s like we wana have a one way monologue without having to listen 2 anyone

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  • @Amina H.
    But I do want to engage in a conversation with everyone, but sometimes I just don’t feel like it and want to just talk, and for people to just listen.

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  • My life has been sucked right out of me..I feel U Moonshine..sometimes i just feel like wanting to hide in a closet

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  • Mona…if you feel like you need a lil’ Mona time…you go right ahead and do just that! Don’t worry about what anyone thinks because only a true friend would give you the space you need and be there when you’re ready. Everyone needs a little time & space. As your cyber friend…i merely say i’ll be here if you want when you want if you’re ready and when you’re ready girl!

    Luv your new friend…
    Palestinian warrior princess (AKA Tye)
    xoxo

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  • @jade E
    Jade.. you seem down.. want to talk on msn later today?

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  • @Tye
    Thanks my new friend! :)

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