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A week of anger

I know I have been writing pathetically stupid posts the past week, but I have been hiding my true anger and discontent of people’s actions. I am very angry, and writing this post will not calm me down that easily, but it helps a bit.

People piss me off

I am sorry to say this, but in general, people have serious problems. They don’t understand the meaning of “Leave me alone. I am not a child. What the hell do you want from me? I don’t want to be your friend. I am not this lost soul that you feel obligated to save.” Oh, and for that person, don’t bluntly lie to me saying you don’t go on my blog. After you insulted me, do you expect things to change for better or worse? You think I am stupid or something? I have an IP address tracker that emails me on every visit, and one of my statistics tools sees behind those stupid anonymous proxy sites and reports back to me the real IP address. I got over 5 statistics monitoring tools, and I check them almost every day to see where people are coming from, because that’s what a website owner does to make sure everything is alright and no one lies to me. It also helps me stop those stupid hackers from the middle east to get into my blog again by running those stupid scripts and sql injections.

Secondly, let’s think of this logically, even though my intelligence was questioned a million times, and so was my horrible grammar and English (You know us foreigners with our bad English! We just can’t help it!), I am not offended, but it really makes you on my list of past memories that will never be revived.

Anyways, I am sick and tired of people talking to me. No one understands the pressures from my job every day, and the crap I have to endure from stories about Arabs when I get home. No one gives a crap, and that’s why, I have no reason to give a crap about anyone. If I bluntly tell my parents to leave me alone, why wouldn’t I do that to you?

My parents feel sorry for me

Finally the guilt is creeping up on my parents. They know I don’t talk to any human being, and I don’t go anywhere. And they know that I am taking courses toward my certification to fill that empty gap in my life. They don’t know the real reason why I became like this, and I am not going to open a huge debate of how much I want to seclude myself from this bitter world filled with liars. I am not going to explain to them my discontent of this Arab mentality that I am forced to live by every day. I am not going to explain to them that I have met and known enough people in my life that I choose to act like a bitter 60 year old.

I am tired of explaining.

I work with the wrong people

You guys think I like my job? I do sometimes, but most of the time no. It was fine in the beginning, but the more I know people at work and the mental age gap that is hindering production, the more fearful I am of the way things are going. I just can’t wait to leave work at 4:30 pm sharp. Unfortunately, sometimes I work over time if I was told explicitly to get things done ASAP.

Although some people at work noticed my talents, and that’s what they want, a person that can do it all, but them also noticing my discontent with some things thrown at my face is making them fearful. Sure, I can do it all, but I am only human. I am trying to learn from this other guy at work, and just work at the bare minimum to what I was hired to do. It’s hard to do so when I want to do more, I want to prove myself, but is it worth all this pressure? Am I getting compensated enough for it? No!

Also, like I mentioned in the paragraph before last, the age gap is killing me. I don’t eat lunch with my co-workers anymore, because I am sick of listening to them, and them asking the stupidest nosiest questions. Then they talk to me like a five year old, and want me to talk to them only in utter respect. Who the hell are they? I bow to no one or give any respect except to God. I don’t care anymore that I should be nice to older people, screw them. They have no respect for me, why should I be for them?

Attitude change

I have to become even more bitter or I won’t survive with such people. My plan is to be as calm as possible till I finish my certification courses, which will take two years, and find another job. In the meantime, since I have no real friends that want to ever listen to me or talk to me, I will use this blog as a ranting area instead. I know you guys will listen to me, email me your thoughts, and tell me that you have the same problems too. When you do that and tell me your stories, I don’t feel alone, and you don’t feel alone, and I am more at peace with myself and can sleep at night.

I am sorry, but I have to excessively rant a lot more from now on, or I will go crazy or very physically sick.

Finally, this song has been keeping me a bit sane the past couple of days. I like the words. No wonder. So me.

Muse: “Uprising”

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19 Comments

  • Well you seem to be handling it well, as I said earlier… it sucks when people talk to you like a 5 year old… they don’t know behind your youth you have a lot of experience… I suppose maybe they have children you age. The elderly never seem to out grow the “my child is still a child to me” way of thought. All the best with your study… what courses are you taking… hopefully something better will come out of it all. Best wishes :)

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  • Yes, make yourself happy the best you can. Until then, forget everyone else.

    Stalkers in deniel!? They are one of the worst. just try not to feed their appetite.

    Atleast your coworkers talk to you at lunch hhaha. I don’t eat with my coworkers anymore either, it’s the awkward silence that kills me. I would rather eat alone in peace then waste another break feeling uncomfortable.

    You are diffenentely not alone mono , believe me even though we spare the details of our lives

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  • :’(

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  • Muse rocks! I love that song.

    I’ll spare you the “I know what you mean” crap this time and cut to the case :-P We are both at an age where our success has led us to have jobs that require us to work with people a generation older sometimes even twice our age. Most of the people we grew up with are working loser jobs & they suck so who cares :D

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  • My philosophy, and solution to people who are annoying, is to realize that such people are put on this earth to make me feel better about myself, since I’m better than them :smile:

    So, I guess my unsolicited advice for the week is to remind yourself of that fact every time a co-worker, emailler, or family member pisses you off!

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  • i hope u feel a bit better talking about stuff always makes me feel better :cool:

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  • [...] A week of anger Posted by admin on January 30, 2010 random I know I have been writing pathetically stupid posts the past week, but I have been hiding my true anger and discontent of people’s actions. I am very angry, and writing this post will not calm… [...]

  • @Meyrick Kirby
    You know.. out of all the comments that you have been writing on my blog, this one I 100% agree with and I want to use that as my philosophy as well. I think that was the problem of my utter confusion to begin with. I just need to think that because I am better than them, that’s why they treat me like crap.

    Thanks!

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  • so you are angry right? :)

    You sound like my sister!!! Nothing is good enough for her!!!

    Inchallah next week you have a week of happiness!

    For your co-workers the best answer is: I don’t know! Try it

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  • Mona :

    out of all the comments that you have been writing on my blog, this one I 100% agree with

    I think I might have overshot there.

    I just need to think that because I am better than them, that’s why they treat me like crap.

    Actually, they probably treat everyone like crap, not just you.

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  • Work is such a difficult environment…having to get along with people for 8-9 interminable hours a day can be a killer. I’ve been there, done that! Continue to do it.

    Hope that things improve for you!

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  • I don’t know if I am one of the people you don’t believe in, but I have been honest about the things I wrote to you in the mails and a comment. And I would like a friend to talk to too, it’s not only about people feeling sorry for you or wanting to save you. I hope you feel better soon. I think you need a break and should only do what you have to and are able to do, and not more. Have a good week.

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  • I guess I represent some of those “Older” people you can’t stand talking to. I don’t think that the comments that I or others give are there to save you, but rather to get you to think outside the box that you have so precisely defined. So often we think that we know it all, when in actuality we have only touched the tip of the iceberg.

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  • @Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)
    I don’t want to be gender biased, but I think the problem is with older women.. I never had a problem with older men.. except them being pervs sometimes.. but meh.. at least what comes out of their mouths is not continuous nonsense.

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  • Well, I’m sure that there are always some people who you just can’t stand talking to. My wife admits that she has a lot of difficulty engaging in the “typical” conversations that women normally like to have. If these are the same kinds of conversations that you can’t stand I guess I can sympathize.

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  • WOW that is lot of emotion

    here is the technique I use to relieve stress hope it helps
    imaging a cool clam place with green woods and ponds,
    now imagine a person that you are holding down under that pond water :D

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  • @Aman
    Yep.. I was born angry, and I will die angry. I am hoping I have some moments of peace somewhere in between that.

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  • [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mona, palestinian. palestinian said: Rebellious Arab Girl: A week of anger: I know I have been writing pathetically stupid posts the past week, but .. http://bit.ly/bhy5jz [...]

  • Can we start a club? You and me,,,,,will send uy story tomorrow am writing fromy iPod and it’s 4 am

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