Labeling those members of society
I have been thinking a lot lately, and I know most of you who are reading this are saying to yourselves, “Oh no, not again! Wait, isn’t that why I am here?”
Interestingly, what I have noticed as a blogger for over four years is that you become your blog. You are it, and it has sucked you in and there is no way out. I have been checking out a lot of famous people’s blogs, and even active bloggers who think that their little voices will make a difference (which it does, kudos to them!). I discovered that they are successful not because of the money they earn, and not because of their voices or messages they are trying to convince others with, but with their perseverance and learning on their own to think about life from all angels, and to take constructive criticism and even ignorant insults.
It’s hard, believe me. It is very hard to maintain a blog. In the beginning, I thought of it as a little ranting area and that’s it, and it will not last long because I have zero patience and short attention span. However, things changed, and people kept wanting more, and even wanted my feedback on issues that were so foreign to me. It helped me stay on track, and build on something that I have created. I started this, and I think of it as one of the highest achievements so far in life. Corny as it sounds, but it is true.
Being a blogger helps you in many ways. It helps you improve your writing skills. It helps you think every day, and come up with new ideas and keep your brain active. It helps you build a community and bring people together on issues that are hardly ever discussed.
Comfort Zone
On those days where I am really depressed, and feel that the world is against me, I turn to this little website for comfort. Someone out there sort of agrees with me, right? Which is better than nothing eh? You guys will not believe the number of times I wanted to shut down this blog, but something sparked inside of me and told me, “Hell no! What are you about to do and why?”
This morning, I had the itch to shut down this blog, and I have more reasons to do so than to keep it. It has nothing to do with my professional life, or me being scared. Surprisingly, last year, while I was looking for work, I thought of it as a road block to why I wasn’t accepted in the professional world, but then I realized, who cares? It’s like people not accepting me for who I am, and I don’t need them in my professional life or being a part of theirs. Then I thought of it some more as a road block for real friendships, and that’s why people don’t like me anymore for who I really am, but again I realized, who cares?
I know a lot of people will start bombarding me with comments and tell me, “Stop saying who cares!! Because you do!” I won’t lie to you and say that I don’t, but I won’t lie to you even more and tell you that I really do. It’s that middle zone that I can’t really explain on this blog, because I don’t know how.
Barriers
I realized that I can’t put a red line between me and others, but at the same time, I cannot let others create this line and choose to jump in and out whenever they please. I feel used. I feel hated and then suddenly loved. I feel that there is something about me that I cannot understand, but others do. I can’t get a grasp on what makes me totally different than others, but at the same time, I don’t understand why they treat me just like any passer by they met in their life.
I am a person with very deep feelings. I suffered a lot growing up, and I keep on suffering because I don’t know what to do. I say what I want to do, but I feel that I am not taking the necessary actions. Is it being scared? Is it too hard? Is it beyond my limits? Maybe it is all those combined, or maybe I just don’t know where to start.
Change
I keep encouraging people to change, and to think outside of the box, but I cannot do that. I am the one that is preaching, but I cannot practice what I preach. Why? I keep asking myself why. It got to the point that people are continuously telling me that they feel sorry for me, and I am the one that needs help. It just makes me feel labeled as only a thinker, and not a thinker with actions, or maybe that’s what I want to believe.
Fortunately, after I re-read this post before publishing, and the hour and a half I spent thinking and writing it out, I realized that there was some action on my part. I did something. I clicked the publish people. I am heard, and someone else will get affected by my words and react to them. I guess I am doing something eh?
Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts, Thank you, They said what?, Whatever!
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I think youre blog is 100% real, and I still think you should publish a book. I can guarantee it will be successful! Youre very clever but you expect simple minded people to understand you?! Seriously, no wonder youre getting stressed! x x
You’re doing fine. I realised you already know a lot of people so I don’t think you are going to talk to me. Have a good year. If you ever don’t feel good about the blog you can just take a break from posting a few days. Take care, good wishes.
@Mais
Maybe you are right.. that’s why I am getting stressed.
@dave
Why wouldn’t I talk to you? I like you sharing your thoughts. Keep it up!
life is hard sometimes !
@Charlie
It is all the time.. and if anyone thinks their life is perfectly fine is just fooling themselves.
Well of course you are doing something, you are making a lot of people uncomfortable and pushing them to think and react. As to thinking outside the box, well a lot of people don’t know where or what the box is, let alone think outside. Nevertheless, and in spite of your raving and ranting, whining and complaining, which most of us do but are shy to admit. You are a gutsy, courageous and outspoken free thinker.
Keep bothering I say, you are doing a great job.
It’s healthy to not know. So often we want to think that we need to know everything, and then get upset that we can’t put our finger on that one thing that we think we should know. Use that sense of unsureness to be curious about the unknown and learn to explore it.
I am very proud of the fact that you can express yourself and do press that publish button. So many people in this world are afraid of what others will say and scare themselves into not pressing that button. Who knows how many of those people are also too afraid to comment and to tell you that they agree whole heatedly with what you say.
I say what I want to do, but I feel that I am not taking the necessary actions.
I have the exact same problem, Mona! I’ve been doing it ever since I got divorced. It’s so easy for me to see what I need to change about what I’m doing but I never actually do it! I hope you find a way to do better with that than I have
Hi,
You are wrong to think down and I admire your spirit of change. Keep the good work Mona. I do not think you should aim to change people’s mind, the goal is to put the cards of problems on the table (rather than being taboo) and plant the ideas of change in the minds.
All what is supposed to happen is that we admit there we have problems in our sick society. While we think we are the best, we are not even better than the beduins who lived 2000 years ago. If you are in doubt, read some of those Saudi responses on the net.
Mona,
Arab girls must realize that they are human and have rights in life to fight for. The right of choosing spouse, the right of divorce when humiliated or unhappy, the right of stop being beaten up by filthy husbands. Needless to mention the right of acting as equal person love, be loved and choose in this one-time life.
Do not be discouraged, keep this blog please.
The stages of learning is four:
1st stage: Unconscious / Incompetent
2nd stage: Conscious / Incompetent
3rd stage: Unconscious /Competent
4rd stage: Conscious / Competent
This also applies to change. The healthy stage is stage 2 where people know they have problem and then act to change it. Unfortunately, Arabs girls are at stage one where they do not recognise they have a problem, blaming the infidel, the west, the Japanese, the Chinese for their problems.
Well, the whole word is moving forward while they are still looking backward to the stone age on how to wash your hands before prayer, how to sit on a toilet, how to drink from a cup, how to cover the face and if possible the eyes, while our honour is screwed every day in Israel, in poverty, in Iraq and population explosion.
Bellochap, who are you and where are you from! Youre very smart! x
@Oussama
Thank you so much.. and people maybe don’t know there is a box, you are right.
@Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)
I used to be scared, or very hesitant. A lot of posts I didn’t get to publish, but now, I just publish and don’t care!
@Craig
Let’s all find a better way for sure!
@Bellochap
I like you. You keep commenting. You make my blog worth writing!
To Mais: Thank you. I am unfortunately an Arab(maybe 50% mixed genes. Lebanese living in Australia.
Girls n boys, you will not believe it, we can write a thesis on Arabs demographical changes in the Arabic countries and a different thesis on Arabs in the other countries. The common dominator is the fact that we live double standard life.
One day, we will face the truth, come clean and say in a loud voice: yes we have problem, yes we need to accept life’s rules and a big NO to our rotten values… Sorry if I offend you but our Andalusia values need to filter out our beduin/Saudi style values.
Hum, it’s quite a religious way of viewing things, isn’t it?!
@Bellochap
I am unfortunately an Arab………
WTF……..MAN
if u dont like it, just dont say u r an arab….. its simple!!