Satisfaction is not guaranteed
One person last week told me that they would really appreciate a true friendship with me and only read my blog if it wasn’t hiding behind a pseudonym AND is more real.
Another person told me that I need to post more pictures of my self, because they can’t believe that I don’t look like a nerd. They need more proof.
A person emailed me once asking me why I don’t talk more about politics.
One girl asked me why I don’t discuss the real problems that Arab girls suffer daily from their families and culture.
This guy yesterday insulted me and told me that I am a horrible person hiding behind a wicked lying mask.
Lots of Arabs told me that I am the worst person to represent Arabs.
Lots of Arabs told me that because I live in the western world, that I am westernized and I should never talk about Arabs.
Religious fanatics told me that being rebellious is a sin.
Many people write me telling me that I am rebellious against religion, and I am spreading sinful thoughts and telling girls to not wear hijab.
Then Mais, the most avid reader of my blog and knows what I am really about, told me this, “… Youre very clever but you expect simple minded people to understand you?! Seriously, no wonder youre getting stressed!”
I Owe People My Thoughts
I feel like I owe the majority of people something, and that something being a closed minded opinion about everything. I will tell you guys something, I don’t go around advertising this blog daily on other blogs. I was really pushing it the first 1.5 years, but then I stopped. I don’t comment at all on any blog, which makes me a horrible social blogger, but I don’t want to advertise my self. (I do read some blogs, but only a handful.)
Do you guys understand my point? I don’t go after you to tell you to read what I write. I don’t go advertise it to drive traffic to my site. I don’t do anything. I secluded my self from the world; yet YOU search for me and read it. You subscribe to keep up. You care enough to find any way possible to read what I write, because you know deep down inside that there is something about me that grabs your attention and makes you think. You care enough about the words that I write here.
I don’t owe you anything and you don’t owe me anything. However, those people that think that I do have always made me wonder why.
Then I understood why…
One person who was extremely angry with something I have written the other day told me this, “I hate what you write most of the time, but you have to be careful, your website is popular and many people are getting affected by it.”
So am I supposed to feel guilty now?
Searching for a Common Thought
Early this evening, I decided to go search for various Arab blogs. I wanted to read what personal bloggers have been writing and see what I am missing. I couldn’t read beyond a paragraph in most blogs. Then I got frustrated and stopped reading any blog. Most of the blogs that I read were talking about some event that they have attended that was “fun.” Pictures of food from the best restaurant ever. Or they displayed pictures of their latest shopping endeavor or overly expensive gadgets that they have bought. Or some tried to talk about how their kids threw up on the carpet and they spent the afternoon cleaning.
Am I supposed to discuss that? Will that make me a better blogger?
Fine, how about this for a change:
I cooked today. I did my project management homework. I didn’t feel like cleaning anything, and oh, to top it off, I also went to the bathroom to empty out all that well digested food.
Shoot me now.
Oh, by the way, since you think that I owe you something every time you read my blog with such eagerness, how about you do the same and write something worth a damn on your blogs from now on, and think beyond your nostrils for a change!
Words of Wisdom
I never give them hell. I just tell the truth, and they think it is hell.
-Harry S. Truman
Blah Blah, Culture, Idiots, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
I fully know what you mean by the mundane topics that some people post on. I do find what your topics are more sophisticated than that and that is why I like to read what you have to say.
If people don’t realize that the words others say do not effect them unless they let it– they are just gullible. They are also the kinds of people who are very dramatic in their reactions because they do not absorb what others say, but rather reject it without giving the person who said it any benefit of wisdom.
@Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)
Hence the difference between those that think, and those that want others to think for them.
Life.. what a strange place that should make people think of the whys a bit more often.
People are just jealous that you can write out your feelings, and be honest about it, to the world, and others actually read and listen. They’re jealous that other people care. Just keep on writing. Don’t listen to those who discourage you from saying how you feel or what you are thinking. They don’t have the balls to do so themselves, so they criticize you. Its the easiest way for them.
@Shay
It is funny that you said, “They’re jealous that other people care.” I am really starting to believe that since some people are trying hard to get in touch with me out of no where.
Anyways, I wish everyone can write out or even express their true feelings. It is hard I know, and you have to teach your self that the only way you feel better is to tell others that you do. I can tell anyone how I feel; good, bad, depressed. Nothing I say will kill me, but only makes me stronger.
I found strength in my words, and if people are jealous of that courage, then maybe they need to look beyond that and try it themselves, and start letting it out. The world will be better if we don’t hide our feelings and try to make some difference by expressing our intellectual thoughts.
No one in this world is born stupid. Some just chose to be.
I think its also an issue of people being worried about letting out their thoughts. They’re worried that if their idea is not one supported by the community, or is the “norm”, then they will be looked upon as outcasts. And the fact that you’re able to write your thoughts out clearly without caring about people’s responses, just really pisses these people off. They wish they had your freedom. And they could, too, if it weren’t for the invisible chains that bound their minds, thoughts, and words.
@Shay
In second year University, I had to take some electives and I chose to take Children Abnormal Psychology. One of the key terms that was always thrown in my face was the word “norm.” I never understood why the norm was more accepted and how everything else was considered abnormal, even though they weren’t. They were just difference because every one of us is different.
People chose to classify everything based on pre-defined categories and the majority is the “best”, and what is different is hard to accept and considered out of the norm. This is what society feeds people. Some of us just chose to not accept such language and be our selves.
“Some of us just choose to not accept such language and be our selves” Thats true. I just wish there were more open-minded people out there. This close-minded-ness causes so many problems. People just piss me off.
Great ranting and raving for a Sunday. I am surprised you are stressing over what people want or don’t want. I thought blogging was for people to write whatever they liked or felt. For me it is a great “me” time.
I read your blog because I think it is refreshing, sure sometimes you write things I disagree with or don’t like, but so what. I can move on or tell you off in the comment box.
Please stop worrying and stressing over what the other 6 billion plus people on the planet want and have fun doing what you want.
Enjoy
Hi,
Your problem Mona is that you put yourself in the front seat and make it personal issue.
As a blogger, I suggest you drop the ball on the floor for others to catch and fight about it, then you step in to take the ball quietly and plant your original thought as a conclusion.
No, no you are not bluffing here, you are just acting as an observer.
Well, if your blog is to tell us your view, then I better go somewhere else; But if you blog is to raise a common issue our lovely shy girls dare to say, then we are all on the same boat.
To those who write to you and blame you, they are just the common Saudi-style Arabs who put their head in the sand and claim nothing is wrong. Imagine 250 – 300 million Arabs do the same (which is actually what is happening); that is why the Arabs:
- Have the highest unemployment rate in the world
- Have most of the wars on earth now (ok to be fair American started it, but if we did not bend over they wouldn’t dare)
- Have the highest uneducated rate in the world
- Have the dirtiest “rest areas” on roads
- Have the dirtiest minds when it comes to sexual harassment and child abuse.
- Have doctors cleaning street and idiots in management positions
- Productivity is the last thing in mind
- Never follow driving rules
- so on and so forth.
Hey, I am not an Israeli or Arab-hater, just common Arab man sick of wrong doing. Nothing is wrong with positive criticism so we wake up.
@Bellochap
Man you are good with stats and points, I can sense all Passion n Drive there. You have got a very good point there my friend.
Basically I am hooked on to your blog because I simply find it fascinating. I mean you struggle with same sort of emotions which we all do and unlike most of us you manage to over come them in +ve sort of way
and write about them in most beautiful way I have ever seen in any blog.
Even for someone who has cheated to pass in english can understand and identify with it, no way… I am not giving away name for now.. shhhhh… :p
If you are fan of Star Wars Yoda he definitely would have said, ‘The Force runs strong with this girl!’.
Pen is mighter than sword they say, you have proved that keyboard 1000x mighter than pen.
May the force be with you.
Hope you had good digestion :p
Mona, my heart skipped a beat when I read that! x
Bellochap, youre the only guy thats written on here that doesnt make me want to pull my hair out when I read their posts. Keep posting, thank you x
Aman, Thanks for your comment.
What I like about Mona is that she writes what she think off. Isn’t that what we all need to do rather than hideg behind a smile made-in-china?
This is a call for others to spill what in their minds and say what you want to say not what you should say.
Just an insight of the human brain:
- Right brain is free thinker processes millions of instruction without control in all directions as(child).
- Left brain is control. It tells you what to do, say and when. No thinking just control (military).
Using the right brain, makes you happy, free and joyful. Most important it allow you to invent.
Using left brain makes you judge every step and become rigid but you can not invent as you do not think.
Arabs are mostly locked by the left brain while hiding what their right brain is thinking about… That is why we live double standard life especially girls.
Loosen up girls, speak freely and say what you want.
‘Affecting people’? What an accolade! Congratulations.
You should absolutely write whatever you want and ignore those who don’t like it. As you said, there are millions of other blogs out there and surely they can find another one that fits what they are looking for.
People can be more reasonable in how they approach opposing viewpoints. It isn’t good to just trash somebody when they give an opinion. I read editorials and blogs by Republicans, and I am certainly no conservative, but I still read them without going and complaining about them and insulting them just because they post something I don’t like. If a person doesn’t like the blog itself just because of the opinions stated in it, they don’t have to read it. But it is possible to disagree with viewpoints the blog has, and still like the blog and continue to read it.
If they don’t like what you write but they read it anyway then you’re doing something right. It’s a bit like commenting on a Daily Mail article and getting red arrowed: racist far right ignoramuses disagree with you? Fantastic!
From what I have read and the reason I like your blog is that you are incredibly honest and you do touch on subjects that other Arabs shy away from.
This is what I got:
1. Mona, don’t bother with them, it is your blog!
2. Mona, tell it like it is!
3. Mona, why are you worrying about this?
I shouldn’t bother or worry, and I shouldn’t even be mentioning all this, but I felt that I had to. People are bothering me. A lot. Way too much. Way way way way way too much lately. It is getting really bad, and I am getting stressed and frustrated. That’s why I mentioned @Mais comment, because she knows people won’t get what I say, and I keep trying to explain, but people are just pure dumb sometimes or they don’t want to understand.
Most of you guys think a bit more rational, and those that comment often on my blog are not stupid. It is those people that should not be reading this blog because they don’t like it, are the ones that feel obligated to say something and disagree wholeheartedly. They feel it is their duty to insult me cause it makes them feel better. I said something awful, and I have to be silenced!
Finally, I think there is a more utter hurtful truth of why I am daily insulted. You see, what I have really noticed is that Arabs HATE someone insulting their pride and talking about their culture in any negative way. They will never understand that maybe there is something wrong and it just needs minor tweaking every now and then to make it better. They also hate it that I am publicly addressing the issues, and the only response they really have is,
“Mona! How dare you say such things? You are making us Arabs look like trash to the entire world, especially those Americans and other Westerners!”
If you care so much about your pride and dignity as an Arab, why did you let the enemy steal Arab lands (Palestine), occupy large states and kill its people and set their own rules (Iraq), and manipulate the minds of those with money to take as much oil reserves as possible (Gulf countries.)
It’s funny that little old me living in Canada has to shut up when I mention the truth, and the overall in your face problems are ignored.
What a shame.
The enemy? I’ve read you for some time and this is the first time you’ve said this that I can remember. I’ll keep reading you but for a totally different reason now. I always think it bodes well to know what and “enemy” living amongst our borders thinks of us.
@jack
What was I supposed to call them? “The Occupiers”? Or “Little mean foes”?
Jus keep doin you Mona.. You will always have haters – It jus means you are able to affect people on an emotional level. As a writer, that’s what your goal is. Jus do you – can’t please everyone.
Mona 7abibti….la taklee 7am mashee!!! In a nut shell…that’s the beauty of freedom of speach in the Western world!!
Something tells me Mona that you didn’t start this blog because you wanted peoples attention or approval so you know what…let them say what they wanna say but take it from me…first and foremost Alhamdulillah Rabil Alamin i’m Muslim, i pray, and i’m a hijabi. I’m born in Canada to multi cultral parents…my dad is Palestinian and my mother Irish and French from France. Although as i mentioned i pray and cover my hair etc… I’m born in this country and i can still have my opinions and thoughts without that meaning i’m less a Muslim. I find you and your blog very refreshing my dear Mona and i can’t wait to get a computer at home so i can be on all the time lool!You merely put to print what so so many Arab/Muslim girls are thinking and i applaud you 
And i’d actually like to comment on what someone said about Arabs hating when their culture is insulted…and should that not offend us? Absolutely we should hate it!! It’s called racism, it’s called being a bigot!
Salaamz, been a reader for a while now, never cared to leave a comment. Today though, i’ll make an exception
Just wanted to say there’s nothing wrong in being yourself. My dad used to tell me “If you haven’t pissed someone off, then you haven’t made it. If people are critical about you, then you probably are doing something RIGHT”
Don’t worry, The internet world is such. Its full of trolls and self righteous souls wanting to make their sad presence felt. Apparently nothing interesting happens in their lives, which is why they come to disturb others online. One can only feel sorry for such sad souls.
You have more fans than you’d ever imagine. So ignore the trolls. Keep writing…
Love & respect from Singapore
@Nibras Bawa
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I am completely impressed with the article I have just read. I wish the writer of http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net can continue to provide so much useful information and unforgettable experience to http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net readers. There is not much to tell except the following universal truth: If it looks easy, its mind bogglingly complex. I will be back.