Trying to run in society’s projected path
Guess where I am? Yep! At home in my pajamas surfing the internet and reading! I requested demanded a day off today in lieu of me working far too much. And the best part is, Monday is Family Day here in Ontario, and I get another day off too. Four day weekend! Yah baby! I will finally be able to catch up with the rest of the world.
I wouldn’t say that my work is very stressful, but it is very demanding, and I wanted some leisure time. A time where I don’t have to think of Ajax requests, or how to get the financial back end working with the front end, and I don’t have to keep listening to those older divorced women talk about the dates they find through e-Harmony site.
Time for me!
People
I know that people are the cause of my daily ranting and why I am always angry, but seriously, I do have every reason to sometimes. I know many people that I talk to through Facebook or GTalk have this one sided view of me. They think that whatever I write on my blog is me and that’s it. They think I am this cynical, Arab bashing, narcissistic, over generalizing girl who doesn’t read anyone else’s blog.
Yeah, I don’t read other blogs as much as I like, but you guys have to realize that I don’t have time. I try to, and if I do, I rarely comment. I am not this famous person that thinks I am better than you and shouldn’t bother with what you say. I am not a full time blogger like those famous bloggers out there that do this for a living. On the contrary, I am just this 29 year old girl that works all day at a high demanding job, is far too tired when she gets home, and on top of that, does home work and studying for her PMP certification. (About 2 year estimate till I get certified.) You can see that I made my self far too busy that I cannot satisfy everyone, or even anyone. How I ended up in this state? I am just a human being that wants more out of life.
Life
You see, most girls have a goal to find that “special one” and get married. That’s their first and sometimes only mission in life. I used to think like that when I was 24 or 25. Then, as I was stuck in the working word earning money and seeing how everyone else around me is progressing and being “something,” then I got jealous. I am a jealous person when it comes to success. I want more. I want people to say that Mona did something productive and important in her life.
Honestly, as I am growing older and my pessimistic view of love and marriage is ever so growing inside my head, my career seems to take priority. Don’t get me wrong, I try really hard to meet someone or talk to a guy. Unfortunately, It’s always the same conversation with every single guy that goes like this,
“Why aren’t you married? Look at you! Are the guys in your city idiots? Marry me!”
Unfortunately, they would be living 500 km away, and I would think, funny! They judged me from a picture and a two minute conversation. And like I said earlier, people who read my blog judge me by what I write, and most of the guys hate it. So there is no happy medium, and I got to the point of giving up, sort of.
Fear
If I really wanted to be honest here, and if you read this far, you have to realize that yes, I am a bit fearful. I am a bit fearful of being hurt again. I don’t want to love or be in love. I fear an end result that may or may not happen. The older I get, the more sensitive I am about everything. I don’t want history to repeat it self. I am trying really hard to change the way I am so I don’t end up in such a state again.
What I really don’t understand is those promiscuous girls, or girls that go from one guy to another to find the one that quickly says, “Yes, marry me now!” I feel that those girls don’t really know the meaning of love, and are so insensitive about others and care about the number one person, them.
Oh well, this is life. We keep running toward a goal that we set or others set, but we don’t know how to get there sometimes. We just keep trying any road hoping it will get us there or even close to there. Ah life, what a mysterious journey.
Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!
Loading ...
I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
Glad you can get that time off– you need that time to decompress.
I have to admit that when I was in my late 20′s that I felt that I would never meet anyone who would want to marry me. It was at that point that I decided I wouldn’t worry about if this person or that person liked me or not, but rather I would concentrate on myself. I strove to be the kind of person I wanted to be and just when I wasn’t looking I met my wife.
Some people are content with their jobs and do not ever want to be in love. I believe you have the correct approach and need to concentrate on yourself. Who knows… just when you stopped worrying about love, Love may just come your way.
The best of skill in your certification,
@Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)
Yah.. that’s what I am thinking too. To just stop looking, stop worrying, and just live life. Good things happen to people that wait.
Enjoy the break! Watch the U.S. dominate the olympic games!
hope yr enjoying yr time off n i have 2 say about the whole love thing i am scared i am very scared caz i will really die inside if i get hurt n i dont know if i will ever recover but i know i have 2 try……………………………. p.s its really scary when u love some1 so much that u cant even picture yr life without her/him
You’re not the only one afraid of love, I don’t think there’s a single person out there who isn’t. But you should still try to take that chance when the oppurtunity comes along. Its usually a risk worth taking.
Also, enjoy your time-off. Watch the Arab nations dominate the winter olympics… hahaha, just kidding.
Everybody says love strikes when we least expect it. As Muslim, we know that it all is written in the stars. Therefore, while destiny plots to get you swept off your feet, you are entitled to spoil yourself and fully live life while getting ahead in your professional life.
Good things happen to (good) people who wait.
P.S. Your word verification displayed “Mr Fadi”. Let’s be superstitious and say maybe it’s a sign?
@Desert Shark
I will try..
I am not gonna watch the Winter Olympics.. I was never interested in Summer ones either. Blah! I am a soccer fan.. waiting for 2010 World Cup!!
@Wilmaryad O’Scallas
I would never marry a guy named Fadi. I find people with such names are too spoiled.
@Mona I think this is an unfair generalization, but you know better.
@Wilmaryad O’Scallas
It’s unfair to also generalize that since I am 29 years old and not married, that my lovely Arab culture thinks it is over for me or something seriously wrong with me that I am not married till now.
What’s more unfair?
@Mona
Generalizations are, in general, unfair. At the end of the day, Arabs are victims of a victim of a victim, i.e. they strive to preserve and perpetrate traditions of their elders no matter what.
I’d have expected diasporic Arabs to loosen up on customs a little bit. But I should hope your parents don’t go about life with the mindset that wants their daughter with child at 18. If your parents don’t mind you being single at 29, then screw the rest of the world.
Wilmaryad, I doubt many educated Arabs would encourage teen marriage and pregnancy.
@Mais
I doubt it, too. Things are not like they used to be during our grandparents’ time. It’s just unfortunate for families to still live on what people may think/say. We’re fed up with living the kind of life society prescribes.
I went on youre blog, its cool. Still, Id venture to say that whilst being gay, you are still male, so still pretty much at the top of the food chain. Youll be fine! xx
@Mais You know that’s not true, Mais.
The bottom of the food chain, no pun intended, is the queer. It’s sick how many Arab men are frustrated with being unable to do certain things to women. To whom do they resort? The gay guy whom they perceive as a submissive creature made to satisfy needs – much like a woman, you’d say.
But messing with a girl in Arab societies still comes with consequences that the culprit can’t get away with. Who’s gonna defend the abused queer? You guessed it. It all boils down to a problem of perception, me thinks. A man is not properly defined, nor is a woman, let alone a queer.
Thanks for the compliment.
Yeah, life sure is a mystery itself. All I can say to you Mona, is that, don’t give up on what your beliefs and goals are and I know that one day you will be able to achieve them all. It all takes one step at a time, just like Jordan Spark’s song
.
Happy Valentine’s Day
.
Enjoy your break.
As we, Arabs, say: ‘kel shai fe wa8tah 7elo’.