Just pointing out the big fat obvious
Here is big fat question! I asked my mom today, “Why do so many (Arab) women gain incredible amount of weight after they get married and have kids? How is that appealing?”
Mom’s answer, “They are old and no one judges them at their age regarding the way they look. They have been married for so many years and their kids have kids now.”
So, it’s ok to be 50+ years old woman and weigh over 300 pounds? But it is NOT ok to be a healthy 20 something year old who’s skeletal structure is not popping out?
Where is the justice in our cultural system?
Then the older men that are reading this are secretly telling them selves, “Yes, that’s my wife and I am sleeping with her younger not obese friend!”
Women wake up!!
Blah Blah, Confused, Funny, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!





i dont know about how arabs judge other arabs in this but i think this happens 2 alot of woman (weight gaining thing)hehe as matter a fact my sister was the other way she was never really big but after she got marryed n had 2 kids she started working out n stuff….but shes canadain not arab hehe
also is that a real picture lol that poor kid
@Charlie
I am pretty sure that is a real picture. Sad isn’t it?
I don’t know but I think that when they have kids then they think that they’ve got nothing to lose again and they just don’t care about their body maintenance or should I say body size maintenance? Yeah, body size maintenance. So it’s all about ignoring themselves after they have kids.
And…umm…that kid in the picture needs to go to the gym continuous for 2 years. Recommended by Shirley
. But seriously…he really needs to reduce his size…I mean he’s killing himself.
I think this happens in so many cultures! Quite a few Indian/Pakistani women feel like marriage is a license to stop working out and to start eating everything in sight. They don’t wait until they are 50 either! I’ve seen new brides gain the “freshman 15″ in the first year…sometimes its a whole lot more than 15! I feel really sorry for them.
I think it happens to a lot of women, not only Arabs. Not this generation anyways. If anything I am seeing more of a trend of 40something and 50somethings trying to look like their teenage daughters.
And I am not defending gaining weight(I am currently trying to lose about 5-7 lbs and work out and do another walking activity ) but when you become a mother, it is so hard to find time to go to the gym(unless they have daycare). So many times I tell myself “I’m going to take the kids for a walk!” and for whatever reason get busy. Plus bodies change! When hips expand, there is no way of getting rid of them!
I think what happens to lots of women, particulary arabs is summed up in a saying “Akl wa mar3a wa illit san3a” basically that they eat, no movement.
Unfortunately when people have been in relationships for awhile, they become comfortable, and take their husband or wife for granted. People from every sex, race, and culture do this.
I think this is more of an old timer’s thing. This generation cares a little more about fitness then our parent’s generation. Fitness wasn’t big for the older generation. Ever notice how hard it is to find Diet Coke in a lot of these countries in the Middle East ? lol
Strange it is but yes that’s very true trend, people do tend to put on weight after marriage. Hummmm.. what could be the reason ? After giving bit of thought …best logic I could came up is, bit of weight adds to a solid relationship! I mean you can’t swim to depth of relationship ocean without some weight, can you ?
if( marriage() === bit_of_weight()) :
great_result();
else:
court_saga();
endif;
LOL
Do you know the most frightening thing is that when I first got married – I would bake apple pies, bread puddings, bread and butter puddings, rice puddings and fruitcakes, etc which I would eat every evening after my lovely cooked dinner. The dinner would often have both roast potatoes and roast parsnips. I would enjoy a lovely breakfast, a mid-morning snack, a wonderful lunch, a mid-afternoon snack and often eat a late supper after my two-course dinner.
I didn’t readily gain weight it was something that people didn’t really discuss.
It appears that weight gain seems to have marched into a frightening epidemic since people have started drastically trying to lose weight and rather than becoming thinner the population throughout the world has become and is becoming fatter.
Although we do need to move a little more … our food is now packed with all kinds of chemicals it never used to be. On top of this many countries allow milk that is full of growth hormones to be used in many products. Perhaps we all need to go back to basics – eat only products that do not contain anything other than what they are. Next time you visit a supermarket take a look on a cake box (just as an example) see what it is made of – you will most probably find that it contains a list of at least 30 different ingredients rather than just 6 or 7 …. and that is frightening!
You write some lovely articles by the way.
Hi Mona,
Well, Here I have to defend the Arab women. Please allow me.
This is a trend around the world with no discrimination; however, Arab women have an excuse for that:
- Since the purpose of their marriage was to fulfill 1st duty to get married, 2nd duty to have children, 3rd to have more children locking the man in his eternal marriage cycle. Well it is his bad luck and has to accept it.
At the same time, he is not supposed to look at those Barbie women with slim bodies and short skirts.
Women wake up, men marry to fulfill their dream fantasy in a hot Barbie making them happy first, then think about children as a package forward.
Hey don’t think I am a womanising man at all. I know men upside down even sheikhs with long beard marry multiple women because of their fantasy nothing else.
Wake up!!! be the Barbie your husband want and the sexy full of joy mother close to his fantasy.
Hey, this also applies to women, don’t you think? our expectations these days are at the top so competition is tougher.
Ladies, be yourselves. In the Arab world youre worth as a woman is very much tied into youre marital status, which explains alot. Those men marry multiple women because they have a huge sense of entitlement and consider their pursuit for new pussy over their family and childrens well being on all levels. Its called selfishness and has nothing to do with women and everything to do with the way men are raised and have been behaving for 3000+ years.
So Mais the whole problem Mona raised about women getting fat and careless about their beauty is to do with the men’s gene and the X chromosome.
So men need to repair that gene but not sure how: with a screw driver or download a patch from the net.
I still think women have to work a bit on make marriage joyful.
Health and Fitness professor told us this in class (As far as I can recollect):
The reason that a lot of slim girls here (Kuwait) gain weight after they give birth is because they don’t pay attention to muscle building. People assume that muscle building is just for body builders, it is not! You need muscles to burn the fat. So if you don’t have muscles to begin with and you gain weight or give birth, don’t expect to lose weight.
Muscle burns the fat!”
More are less like that…
I cant speak for women, I can admit wondering if I was the only one that saw a pattern. What I can speak to is myself, after I got married I gained 30-40 pounds. My wife’s way of showing her love was to feed me. ‘coul ya habibi. Once the blood pressure went up and my dr started to worry, then I had to make some changes. But it was her way of showing love.
@Mona
yes it is
Interesting perspective you guys got there. The men have a totally different view from women.
hey, you’re wrong. Arabs and Paki and Indians they love huge big busty women! Arabs adoring skinny look female are westernized Arabs lool.
Its a great point to talk about Mona thanks to post it here i would ask the same question.I dont know what to say?! its totally true. Unfortunatelly alot of women dont pay any attention to thier weight and health in general as i notice they start experiencing health problem at younge age (in their fourties or even fifties) comparing to other women from different culture.For example, women from Canada( whit women) i dont have statistic to prove that but in general yes. They need to change thier idea first about the apperance and health in this age.I would tell them you are still leven and need to attract ur husband and enjoy ur healthy and atractive body. They need somebody to wake them up.
:up:
I think Hudaman is right. I mean, for some reason, when Arabs call someone chubby they say “Mashallah” like it’s a good thing to be a fatass. LOL
Though I would say that might be true. You people need to sympathize with the skinny folks like myself who’ve been trying to gain weight for all of their life with no success. I do the same thing fat people do but nothing happens.
That said, I find average build (not skinny, not chubby) ladies extremely attractive.
Kind of like this (most beautiful woman in the world):
http://www.last.fm/music/Amy+Lee/+images/11151867
http://www.last.fm/music/Amy+Lee/+images/27544967
http://www.last.fm/music/Amy+Lee/+images/16319743
Not skinny but not fat. Excellent.
I agree with mais about the way men are raised in arab countries and don’t like that problem too.
And as for weight. It is on the news that more than half of a lot of countries people are becoming obese, of all ages. Obesity is not nice. But also there is a attack against thin people too, probably by the fatter people, to try and make the fat people feel more comfortable and not feel bad about their body image. Well sorry but a lot of thin people are thin naturally and they don’t diet or not eat to try to be thin, it is just how they are. Me included. So it makes me mad when fat people stuffing their face at lunch complain about how there is culture of thin girls in magazines and stuff, or that teenage girls want to be thin or are thin. The fact is a lot of teenage girls usually are thin and most would be thin, before this modern obesity. That is natural for a teenage girl to be thin for most of them. And so also the ones modelling are probably thin naturally a lot too. Maybe some become thinner a bit, but they still would be thin anyway naturally, the magazines pick the naturally thin ones. These exist in the real world, they just get picked because they are pretty. And thin is beautiful actually. That is why we are meant to be thin and beautiful when we are younger like teens and late teens, because that is nature. A lot of people gain weight over age, that is natural too. But not everyone does gain weight, some stay thin, and some gain weight more than they would naturally by age, because they eat so much. So they compare themselves, and criticise the thin people to make themselves feel better and less of an unhealthy or greedy person. It used to get to me a lot when i had to hear office women complaining about thin girls who are thin naturally. And suggesting that we should make stigma to thin girls, by banning all thin people from magazines and tv and adverts and things, and only have fat “natural ones” but actually the ones who were judging in my office were eating a lot, and sweets and junk, so their fat was not natural.
There is plenty of campaigning to ban thinness in culture now for several years, and it’s easy because obesity is so widespread so the majority can just hate the thin people for being different. and to make themselves feel better for their not being thin. But that is just being cruel to the thin people and worse than the supposed making people feel bad for not matching a thin culture. At least the thin culture is based on something that looks nice, and not done to intentionally hurt people who don’t match it, but just encouraging them to look nicer. But the anti thin campaign/pro medium campaign are more about hating thin people, and trying to make them not acceptable to exist in society as a thin person. And that everyone should be more fat, and look less thin, why should we want to encourage that? We already are being told obesity is a problem so why mix the message to say thin is maybe a worse problem than obese?
People who are medium weight can look nice too, but I can say so do people who are naturally thin look nice, and so i don’t think it’s fair to say bad things against them too.
It’s not nice to be in a room, where a bunch of not healthy or overweight people are complaining about people with your exact same body shape or mass, and not respecting your feelings as being the same as who they are criticising about. It’s the same as when people would do it about fat people. Except maybe fat has more of a relationship to how much they eat, than people who are thin.
Sorry, I hope this hasn’t offended anyone. But it is not meant to, it is just a comment of what i think.
I don’t think the problem is with Arab society only. In my country and my own race (I’m a Malay from Malaysia), I also see many married women tends to forget about themselves after they get married. Especially when they already have kids, they blame that the kids take too much of their time and attention for them to go groom themselves and look as pretty as when before they got married. Then when their husbands starts looking at another woman, they balk. I guess it all comes back to the individual’s mindset. They should think that maintaining their weight/looks are not just to keep the husband at home but also for their own health so they don’t die before seeing their kids graduate.
It’s harsh, I know but some people just need a slap on the face to wake up.
Seldom to find an Arab woman who is married and still maintains her figure well.
Lets do a post on Arab mens weight after they get married
@Mais
Good idea… most of em become fat slobs anyway