I feel better with a compliment or two
I saw a very good commercial today on TV from values.com. Click to watch video. The site has inspirational quotes and ideas to help everyone live their life in a more positive manner.
The commercial presented an angry man at his day job at a deli who couldn’t stand dealing with people and the customers. He was just having a bad day, and then a man came up to him and told him, “Hey excuse me!” The angry man said screaming, “WHAT!” The other man said, “Great sandwich! Thanks!” That instantly turned the man to a completely different person with a smile on his face. Some one complimented him today and his whole day changed!
The commercial affected me a lot, because I need a boost of confidence since I have been feeling so low about my life and the life of this blog. Therefore, when I feel like I had enough and I just can’t take it anymore, good positive people pop out of no where to put a smile on my face.
I received this email a couple of days ago from a lovely lady that complimented me and brought up a lot of good points about Arab life.
She said the following,
Gosh, how refreshing it is to see an Arab girl stepping out and sharing her mind. I’m not Arab, but my husband is. He’s very modern and a great father, I love him. But it saddens me that although I live in an area with tons of muslims/arabs, I don’t have any Arab female friends. In fact, when I go to the mosque, or their community events, I am avoided like the plague. I’m a very modest, very articulate and cultured woman. I dress respectfully and even wear a hijab when I enter the mosque.
So I always ask my husband – what is up with this?? I tire when I hear muslims in the USA complain that they aren’t treated well, but they don’t try to be a part of society. If they would live outside of their little boxes, get to know their neighbors and coworkers, maybe the general Americans opinion of them would change for the good. (Same goes for Canada or any country they have exported themselves to.) I love my husband and his family is wonderful to me. It’s just something I wish the Arab culture would change about themselves for the betterment of the global community.
Ok that rant said – you’re adorable and I love your posts. Keep it coming. There is no sin in expressing your thoughts – otherwise Allah would have created women to be robots that simply cook, clean, and give their husband sexual satisfaction without the work of thinking so much. Wake up world!
Now, I want to discuss her first point about the way Arabs perceive non-Arabs, and how they seclude themselves or think they are better than everyone else. I don’t know what to say. I have seen it. I know lots of non-Arabs that have been through this and have emailed me about it. Why does the Arab culture do this to non-Arabs? I don’t know. They will never accept the difference. Look at me. I am the most unique example out there. I am an Arab with a slightly (180 degree) different opinion that 95% of the Arabs, and I am hated and ridiculed by my Arab culture. The 5% who are like me somehow found their way to my blog, and end up sending me compliments or stories of how similar their lives and opinions are. Good to know. It’s really good to know I am not alone in this world.
Anyways, I can’t solve this huge problem, but I can help by voicing my opinion and tell Arabs that they need to accept the differences. God doesn’t judge Arabs differently than non-Arabs. We are all human beings in the end. Same goes for non-Arabs that think that way too. We are all the same and need to learn to live together and accept the DIFFERENCES!
Put a smile on someone’s face today. Point out the positives and compliment them. 
Blah Blah, Culture, Random Thoughts, Thank you, They said what?
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Well sadly, sometime some people avoid someone and cut them out of their lives because of race or ethnicity. It happens with some Arabs who prefer to be among their own ethnic group. But there are Arabs who will go out and befriend Non-Arabs (or Arabs who avoid Arabs and mix with Non-Arabs like me
).
I agree and that goes for all Arabs, Christians and Muslims. We have this fixation that they don’t like us (they being any western community we happen to live in). I am afraid it has become a self fulfilling prophecy, we don’t try and they don’t care. There is nothing wrong with preserving ones culture and roots by sticking together, but we do not live in a vacuum. Diversity is a great thing, it opens venues and opportunities undreamt of. We should try it we might just like it.
I love complimenting people, even just random people in an elevator or on the street. Such a little compliment can make someone’s entire day, and it makes me feel good too.
I can relate to the guy. I do have a Deli where I make sandwiches, and I do get frustrated sometimes with the customers, except I don’t get short with the customers like the guy in the commercial did, even though its difficult sometimes not to. But when I get complimented on a good job by a customer, most of the time because of the sandwich I made(not making this up, I’m actually living out this commercial) my frustrations leave me and I feel better about myself (until the next dumbass customer comes by
). Anyway, compliments do make a difference in someones life.
Now about the second part of your post. It’s not just Arabs, as you know, every ethnic group has some kind of superiority complex among them and think they have to seek out other members of their group and follow what that culture does to the letter, or else it would seem they are losing their heritage and others of that group make them feel guilty if they do otherwise. There’s not much you can do at the moment, but as long as you be yourself and speak up about what’s going on, the more it might inspire people to be more open to other cultures. So just keep doing what you are doing, don’t let these other close-midned arabs get you down. Those positive letters you get is proof that people can change.
Amaaazing post Mona!!!
You brought up a lot of good points!
Greetings from Cyprus, read your blog wit hinterest, Regards
http://anewlifeincyprus.blogspot.com/
@Incandescent Chimera
You mix with non-Arabs but you still find your way to an Arab girl’s blog because deep down inside you cannot help it!!
@Oussama
Great advice for everyone! That’s the way we should all be thinking..
@Ameena
I don’t know if I can compliment strangers out of no where, but it may be a good exercise for all of us to try one day.
@Desert Shark
You got a deli? I bet you make yummy sandwiches!! Send me some!!
@lejla
Thanks girl!!
@Mandy and Rob
Thanks for your interest! 
Greetings from Canada!!
i like this commercial its pretty cool
@Mona
I do make yummy sandwiches. But shipping charges to canada is too high. Plus the meat would spoil by the time it gets to you, it will drive the drug sniffing dogs crazy, they will see our names on the box, federal agents would be called in, and Fox News will just have a field day with this and I don’t want to give them the satisfaction.
Tell you what, if you ever come to Philadelphia, I’ll make you to some great sandwiches or cheesesteaks.
@Desert Shark
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.. Philly eh! I want a Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich!!
@Mona Looooooooooooooooooooool, Mona, so true dear… hehe…
Hello Mona.
My comment is addressed to the American lady married to an Arab.
You might find my words contradicting but I hope I can bridge the link as I see the possible reasons these Arab women act so but unable to fully criticise it. It does not happen to you alone because you are American, if my Arabic wife visited that mosque she would be in the same situation. The reason as I see it is related to no confidence in their uprising that makes Arab women follow their husbands, their society and the twisted rules learned in life. what made it worse is that they were taught not accept the western values as a package because of west being anti-Muslem. Now, in a way it is true, the west wants the Arab to only learn to smoke Malboro, drink Pepsi and dance rock and lose their identity. You come from fulfilled life with no scares that we have deep of historical attacks, some of us manage to survive emotionally, see the clear picture and speak up like Mona, while most become defensive, radicalise and isolate themselves.
Trust me, when Arabs are not attacked, radicalism disapear and vise versa.
Hi Mona,
You said that 95% don’t share your views. Your comment is not accurate here, 95% share your view but only 5% dare to speak up without being marked as “Infidel”.
Theres a documentary on channel 4 (UK) on ‘children of gaza’ tonight if anyone wants to watch.
sister Mona,the following is not to post.treat this as personal.(please)
you said :The commercial affected me a lot, because I need a boost of confidence since I have been feeling so low about my life and the life of this blog……….
you are one of the most intelligent bloggers on internet.
you feel so low coz you are not taking the situation so easy.
it is natural that women are more sensitive than man.when somebody taunt or appose your thoughts or your work or whatever,you may feel very bad about that.
take daytoday occurances as easy as possible.think positively,turn criticism and negative reaction into a challenging mission.
yes,harrasment and critical situations make us feel so low.
but being you a highly thinking and brillient person,i am sure you never be a low thinking girl.
may allah be with you my dear sister in islam..
my sincere prayers.
wassalam. ( sorry for my english)
not really sure where to start, but, i really doubt that “95% of arabs hate you”.. i mean, i live in saudi arabia and i hear girls presenting similar arguments to the ones you present all the time, lets face it, we are not living in the 1500′s any more, and even then women werent opressed all over the arab world, just yesterday i was shocked to learn that the world’s oldest degree granting university was founded by an arab woman, Fatima Al-Fihri.. and i doubt such an achievment would come from an opressed woman?? the reality is, its all about the individuals in question, how open minded they are (mind you, i didnt say educated coz in a way its not about formal education, more about mixing with others and seeing different people, this can be seen clearly in saudi arabia, Jeddah, being a costal city and port is WAY more liberal and women friendly than riyadh for example), but its also true that the culture might set some limitations on women, such as considering girls who present somewhat femenistic ideas, such as your self, a bit on the side of.. nuttiness? (no pun intended)..
speaking for myself, im not all that open minded, nor am i narrow minded biggot (i hope not), but yeah, i did feel a bit… pissed? (hey, just being honest here) reading some of ur posts, it had nothing to do with you or what you want to do with your life, thats up to u ofcourse, but more about the fact that im sick of reading about myself (an arabic man, and arab men in general) as if we were some sort of mythical creatures that need to be analyzed and scrutinized over and over and over, a process that seldom involves the use of flattery and/or good words…so yeah, some people might get pissed……
as for arabs lacking inclusion, as the email u recieved suggests, i really doubt it. we might be a somewhat proud-ish race, but in a way, we are down to earth and a mingle-y folk, most people i know dont have a problem getting arabs involved in any thing, the problem is actually getting us un-involved. take canada for example, when there was a vote in montreal (not exactly sure) to whether remain a canadian province or not, it was the arabic populus that casted the tie breaking vote to keep montreal as a canadian province. and there are lotsa similar stories, but yeah, maybe 9/11 had its toll. the email suggests that its entirely arabs’ fault and that all they need to do is go out there to be accepted, but thats not entirely true, i have a sister who is a physician in toronto and one of her friends (also a muslim arab female doctor) was strangled by a white guy in the elevator, she took the first flight back to jeddah, my sister remained there though and wasnt downed by the fact that her neighborhood’s committee kept filing complaints against her at the municipal board for every stupid thing they can think of (a predominantly white, suburban neighborhood), she kept winning em all..
sorry for making a novel out of a simple blog reply….