Some people’s ways
I got an SMS on my mobile today out of no where from my ex-best-friend telling me this:
“Hey.. I am inviting u to my wedding if you would like to call a truce and come I would be happy to see u..”
When I read that I was like what the hell? Wasn’t that the problem to begin with? She didn’t even tell me she was engaged and I had to find out using the most ruthless manner, and she barely talked to me except on a blue moon.
What’s wrong with people? Why does everyone think that I am the same old Mona that is too nice who just forgets everything and moves on. No. I will forgive one day, but I will never forget. If I go to her wedding it’s like admitting this, “Oh nothing happened, and I am only here because it is the truce or whatever the truce even means in this situation.”
I am tired of people. Even though I am so lonely and I have no one to talk to or tell them my little secrets anymore, I just learned to be stronger and focus on my self. Everyone else seems to focus on the number one person. I am going to do that too.
I don’t need friends that think of me as last in their list and think of me as an after thought. Life goes on, and life is meant to meet new people all the time. This is not the first time this happens to me, and I learned to be strong and move on.
Waiting for new people to come into my life is like waiting for a passing comet to shine in my life.
Culture, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!
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mona i agree with u somewhat lol but i think even if some people do this 2 u u should 4 sure 4 give n u should try too 4 get caz why remember the bad anyways ? n thats true what u say u dont need friends like that caz there not real friends anyways …..anyhoo u should go n make peace with her but also 4get about her n have some fun …salams n if u go i hope u have fun
n take a stick with u 2 beat off all the men hehe
The audacity of some. Like your little picture up above ” whatever”
Plus could it be that her inviting you is part of some other underlying agenda or something? I dont know the history but just speculating.
I.don’t know why you guys are exfriends but if you guys haven’t talked in a long time and she only talked to you because she’s getting married, whatever! She’s definitely trying to make you jealous. Not worth your time. You can always make new friends.
You should come, the more number you come to wedding the earlier you would likely to get married. It’s somekind of carmic wheel mechanism or perhaps explainable by science.
I don’t know what the problem was between the two of you, but maybe you should go to the wedding. She could be trying to reconnect with you by throwing you an olive branch. Sure, she could’ve asked you in a better way, but maybe you should consider the situation. You might not become best friends again, but maybe you two could just be friendly. Just consider it, that’s all I’m saying.
btw, what happened between the two of you?
I agree with you, Mona, and I’m also just starting to realize that same thing: 99% of people in this world are selfish. They’re focused totally on themselves, no matter how much they try to call themselves friends or whatever. This ex-friend’s behavior is totally hurtful, imo. It’s good to forgive, but at some point, people are way past showing their true colors and it’s not worth your energy.
I’d skip the wedding if you don’t feel close to her anymore, but maybe go to the reception or whatever she is having after? Those can be pretty fun, and you might meet some cool people
You do what ever makes you happy ! Any one that does not have you as a friend or messes up their friendship with you must be crazy.
Do what makes you happy Mona x
Mona,
Even if agree with you (which I do) but if I were in her shoes I would do the same. Imagine you met her a year later with a child on her hands and the eyes met and spoke, wouldn’t you say the first thing:”How could you have such a black heart not even inviting me to your wedding? after all, we were friends with some disagreements but we still have feelings”.
I guess she tried to tell you that she still considers you “Not a stranger”.
My advice, go to her wedding and whisper in her ears that you are better than her and that you stepped on your live wounds.
Go for it Mona and have fun, maybe you will find Mr future there.
Mona I would also make her feel guilty on her best day by pointing to the low invitation level through SMS. “Am I that cheap to be invited by SMS?” let her melt that way and you would then hit two birds in one stone.
Have fun and Go Go Go
Go to the wedding. Or at the very least, call her (raise yourself above her standards), give her your congratulations and cordially decline. Not for her, not for the sake of reconciliation, or to show her up at her wedding, but for you. You can’t move forward, by ignoring your past, it just comes back to haunt you sooner or later. It was actually a good thing that she contacted you, imagine how hurt you would have felt had she gotten married without telling you. You already conveyed that not knowing she was engaged was hurtful, right?
I empathize with you completely; I’ve been ignored too — there’s no pain greater than being ignored and unappreciated by the person you love (Ya Allah, does it hurt!) I’ve been wronged in so many ways this past year that sometimes I get overwhelmed by emptiness and tears. However, sometimes, to be a real rebel you have to go against your human instincts for revenge and your feelings of anger and reward insolence with affection, disrespect with devotion, rejection with friendliness.
The best way to peace and the path of guidance is to repay those who separate from us with gentle devotion; reward those who deprive us with free-giving and to join with those who cut you off. In the end, if they don’t recognize the blessing you’ve bestowed upon them, it won’t matter anyways, cause it’s Allah who is the Final Counsel.
If you can’t do any of that right now because it hurts too much, at the minimum, give her a Du’a that she and her husband will be happy and blessed with love, mercy and tranquility. You would want someone to wish that upon you, right?
Insha’Allah, soon you’ll be rewarded your heart’s desires. Salaam…
What is the advantage of not going? Friends have disagreements all the time!
I know what you mean my bestfriend and I called a truce just a couple of days ago, we lost each others trust, but i swear by allah we have been bestfriends ever since I could remember, and she did the worst possible thing in the world to me, in a less harsher way she exposed all my secrets i have never trusted anybody but her and she tore me up, ridiculed me, watched her friends harrass me, watched people make fun of me talk about me, made plans to hurt me, laughed at people wanting to hurt me. People would be like this is what you call a bestfriend, you fucking took back a person like that? are you serious? wow you are soo pathetic. Subhan’Allah, she came back to me a month later after sleepless nights crying and crying and wanting to be friends, at first i didnt accept it, but you know who i could only think of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) Should I listen to my arrogance, or follow the ways of rasululah ? It was hard, but we have been working on it, i think thats the most important part.
so maybe mona, forgive her, dont forgive her….. which is better your ego her ego, or the happiness in somebodies heart, doing something that is hard for you, but you might not like it, you might do a thing which you dislike but the rewards would be greater no ?