What’s worse than enduring a break up? What’s worse than someone dying? Yep, you guessed it, working in a team is probably the most difficult thing you have to endure in your life. However, to survive it, you must follow the next very important personality adjustments and life style changes:
1. Smile when are given more work than you can handle.
2. Fake a huge smile when the work load becomes unbearable.
3. Roll your eyes in disbelief, sigh, murmur the most profane word you can think of, and then say with a smile, “OK!”
4. Just agree to avoid any tension.
5. When things go wrong, blame your self and say, “I will fix it!” Even if you had nothing to do with it, you fixing it will guarantee it will be fixed!
6. Don’t think you are smarter than the others in the team; no one is smart. You are only thought of as smart if you know how to play it right and take responsibility for your mistakes and others idiocity.
7. Make sure you are available at all times and always reply to any email pronto!
8. Always go to work early before anyone else. Sleeping in is only an option on the weekends.
If you followed the previous steps, I will 100% guarantee you the following outcomes:
1. Lots of gray hair.
2. Eyes starts twitching uncontrollably.
3. Eating at your desk.
4. Becoming less social and pleasant as a human being.
5. Migraine every now and then.
6. Lots of caffeine intake.
7. Food is no longer enjoyable but necessary as an energy source to work … and work … and work!
The result of all this, well..
1. Makes the bosses happy.
2. Everyone else starts to look bad.
P.S. Welcome to my life!
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2. Everyone else starts to look bad.
Careful! That’s always followed by:
3. Everyone else starts to gossip about Mona behind her back
and
4. Everyone else starts scheduling meetings with the boss to talk about Mona
and
5. Mona stops being invited to staff meetings
6. Everyone gives Mona strange looks in the hall
and so on!
You need to find a way to fit these steps in:
1. Never (seriously, NEVER!) beat a deadline
2. Never (really, never!) finish you’re part of a project more than 1 day before everyone else does
3. Never fix somebody else’s mistakes – no matter how much the bosses bug you, you should always show them how to fix it themselves (and act like you “discovered” the solution while brainstorming with them)
4. Never call your team leader an idiot. Especially during a meeting.
And so on! If you’re working with people like I’ve worked with in the past you may end up spending a lot of time browsing news sites and downloading porn while you’re at work, but that’s the price you have to pay to be popular with your co-workers
1) no Team leader. (small business)
2) no deadlines.. well, everything was due yesterday or last week.
3) no time to meet a deadline cause it seems we are always behind because of the high demand.
4) if I don’t fix someone else’s mistakes, then they start blaming me for not knowing how to.
5) i don’t care if anyone talks about me.. nothing to talk about. I am too busy working to give a crap. If they have time, then they are seriously not working at all!
welcome to my life
and yes the gray hair is guaranteed, specially if you topped all that with a bit of discrimination and racism and a manager telling you to suck it up
I feel like there are times that people say they are to do work in a team when in reality it rarely works that way. In teamwork, people contribute equally to reach some goal. But really in these teams there is still someone who tries to take control of the group and hand out responsibilities. They say you “know how to work well as a member of a team” if you do as you are told, and if you are not a yes-man or yes-woman, then you are perceived as a troublemaker. Teamwork is overrated sometimes.
this is a funny 1 lol n p.s sleeping in is not even a option on the weekend
[...] How to work “well†with other team members Posted by admin on April 14, 2010 random What’s worse than enduring a break up? What’s worse than someone dying? Yep, you guessed it, working in a team is probably the most difficult thing you have to endure in your life. … [...]
dont say YES when you want to say NO.
Hehe..so true! Great post Mona!
@Mona
To be honest, I’ve only been on a formal team a couple times even when I worked for big companies. I’m not a team player! There’s always a team on projects though, even if its not formalized
@myblog
I always want to say no.. but what can I do.. I have to say….. yes!! Arghhh!!
@Craig
I am not in a formal team… everyone at work is in a team with one objective.. blah!
did any 1 ever hear the joke about theres no i in team but theres me …anyways i think its funny hehe
Great post! I spent the first half of my life working in teams. Now, I’m spending the second half trying to avoid them. The trouble with teamwork is that it is all about looking good to the team leader. Unfortunately, getting anything accomplished is not a high priority for most teams. The most hated person on any team is the competent person who can get the job done quickly and efficiently without scheduling further team meetings or, heaven forbid, involving all the other team members.
Teamwork can still be good for business however. At least good for my business. Many of my clients spend half their lives in team meetings. When they eventually run out of time without getting anything accomplished, they outsource the job to me.
Mona hi lovely post.. just came across this (shocked!)
the population density of palestine in 2050 will be 1,705 people per square kilometre. So either
a) mass migration
b) wars, poverty, famine.
You should write something about this and ask people what they think,, something along the lines of what youre readers see in the future of Palestine. (PS its the most densly populated area in the world!) x
@mais
I known about that for a while. However, I do believe that anything that tries to reach so high up so fast will go down even faster. Palestine will return to its rightful owners. Nothing stays the way it is forever. Everything changes.
The one thing I truly love about working for myself and being a one man band is that I have no team members, I don’t have to endure constant shit from other people that are not as focussed or dedicated as me. Life has never been better or sweeter…