Lately, I have been feeling a big huge negative aura around me. However, I feel great inside. I think that I am on top of the world and I couldn’t be happier. So, why do I feel something is a little itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini not right?
I think I know why. I think that because I am at all time high, that eventually I will stumble down hill like I always do. Maybe that’s why I feel that there is negativity and I got to be careful about it. The thing is, there are no people around me to piss me off!
My mind cannot rest and relax. I am always apprehensive about something…
Moreover, I felt great about yesterday’s post. Yah! I felt like I am my old self and still had it! I didn’t want to lose my edge. I was fearful I was becoming soft and careless since I have been ignoring my other sites, occasionally keeping up with this humble blog, and being a horrible interactive social networker. I don’t know what happened to me. I think I was at an all time depression phase and never realized it. Why no one noticed it?
Do you guys remember my dreams of buying an island?
Do you guys remember my dreams of changing the way the world thinks (well my little world of being an Arab)?
Do you guys remember how I found fault in everything and bitched about it?
I miss my self. I miss who I was and not happy with what I have become. I feel like I am trying to aim to this one vague direction and ignoring everything else around me thinking I will reach that one destination. However, there is no destination. There is no point A to point B to point C. It is not a series circuit that I must follow. I don’t know what it is, but I cannot sit here and wait. I got to do something. Yah! That’s the spirit y’all!
Now where are those damn annoying blogger bookmarks in my browser gone to? I miss reading those shitty blogs. They make mine look like Febreezed manure!