I am the talk of the town

There, there Mona. It’s your personal life and screw them. Better be single, free and happy than miserably stuck in a marriage prison. I find the best thing to do is avoid all Arabs, stick to yourself, ignore them, keep your non-Arab friends, put one foot in front of the other, smile, live moment to moment and breathe, you don’t have to tolerate their nonsense. You’re much better than them. I think Arab ladies need to start a dating company, where they marry everyone off and do blind dating business. Instead of going and solving problems and crises in the ME they are busy with he married her and so on. Well tell them to mind their own business, give them a sharp eye and show them the ‘I don’t care attitude’. I’m in New Zealand right now, my brothers birthplace and childhood place I grew up and I see more and more Arabs everyday, it kind of makes me sick to my stomach because I don’t want to be part of their community or problems, I can’t wait til I go back to Brunei in July and I graduate and find me a job away from Arabs who make me waste my energy on anger and their stupid crap. Mona, I think you need a lovely espresso coffee and some chocolate and a nice book to drift your mind away to Arab-free land.

OMG Germany 4 – 1 O___O

O_O

Why are people all in you’re business. Sigh. x

Don’t worry, If it makes you feel better my Uncle married a Saudi woman who’s 30 atm. She wanted to take up a career and have her own secure life but then she thought nobody would marry her and then BAM she found my uncle who thought to himself he’d just die a lonely old guy or end up with a divorced woman and have the “cultural” mentality. Maybe 30 will be your lucky number ? & for those palestinian women to be honest it’s not like you see them everyday and pity them because they are trying to i’m assuming make your mother feel bad cause her daughter couldn’t marry at the moment… but then what have their daughter done? Gained 30 pounds popping out kids and try to please a guy who’s done nothing to earn affection ?

Heh,

Your post resonates …

The pressure is felt on both sides… male and female…. my parents are afraid to bring it up again… and they know in about a year, I’ll be hitting the road again and probably moving back west.

I will stay single forever so long as I haven’t found the right girl. I will get married tomorrow if I find the girl I love today.

You know I even got ‘religious’ for a while here and ended up meeting and proposing to a Saudi Canadian girl here … and she shot me down

Still , even after going through that whole ‘leap of faith’ my parents still apply pressure… like I’m gay or something

Fun times.

I forget who the comic was, but I remember this comic once saying “I LOVE interracial marriages, I want all race to marry each other… that way at the end , we don’t have blacks and whites and yellows and browns… at the end everybody is just GRAY … and race isn’t a problem anymore”

I think if arabs were open minded to at least ‘islamic’ non arab marriages… and were not this zenophobic , elitist, hypocritical culture… that eventually you won’t have this problem because you won’t be stuck between the two extremes:

1- You meet someone who is at the CORE your soul mate, but your parents would never approve the marriage (this happened to me before).

2- You are pushed into marrying someone who is nothing that you want (nothing like you, no ambition, no personality…etc) just so that arabs can prepetuate ‘sameness’ in the culture.

I don’t have an answer Mona… until I do, I will stay single and focus on my work… yes the candle is burning down, my hair is graying, the years are running out. But what other option is there ?

Be unhappy alone, or be unhappy and tied down, possibly with debt, a mortgage, kids , bills and nice fat guilt trip ?

(Will try to not comment as much on your blog from now on…everything you write resonates… and this stuff just makes me boil)

Well…..to be honest there is many good things in Arabs….Yes they have some sort of corruption in parts of their minds……..but still which nationality or nation doesn’t have? I believe that with all downsides of Arabs they still posses some values even with all the corruption occur in the last decades.

You know I’m signal guy, tried to find a wife with almost all the ways…..even from online……and I was up to any girl any age any religion………..and after so many tries……….I ended up convinced that I can’t find better than an regular Arabic girl……why? because for me I have to take-off so much of me to fit with other non-arab girl……….Just like you said I just wanted to be who I am. I simply don’t want to dissolve in another culture and be one of them…..its very complex even I can’t really express the idea well.

Hope you the best…….But marriage still an essential part of our existence as emotional and biological creatures….I’m not saying that being signal is bad thing but to be honest its isn’t the normal course……..And asking for perfect partner to come from the sky isn’t a wise thing…..I keep telling myself that the best part of marriage is adaption…..in other words how to make myself better husband and how to try to make my wife better wife………….even car engine break-in procedure to make its parts fit to each other well………..I believe break-in procedure for people is cool for both parts.

Sorry for being rude

i am not an arab.but i agree with JAZZY and MAJ, and voted them.

Well, I’ll tell you this, since many Palestinian women and families marry early (for obvious reasons, to protect the family’s honor, etc…) which is an honorable reason. But my biggest issue is the popping of useless kids, that neither know anything about their Deen, about manners, and just live like cattle, and this keeps going for generations. I’d prefer my wife to be older and more educated than the average Palestinian woman, and that is what people fail to comprehend. I think many individuals are looking for someone like you, so don’t give up. We don’t live in the early 20th century anymore lol.

”the popping of useless kids” , Are you talking about children that are not taught cultural/religious beliefs or an unsustainable birth rate, please be honest with me.

If this sort of crap is really getting on your nerves,

maybe it is time to move out?

They won’t consider you an adult who makes their own decisions until you do one of two things:

1.)Get married

2.)Leave and become independent.

Scratch two if you already live on your own. If you live on your own and than your parents still give you crap, than give them crap back.

@Sarah
“I find the best thing to do is avoid all Arabs, stick to yourself, ignore them, keep your non-Arab friends, put one foot in front of the other, smile, live moment to moment and breathe, you don’t have to tolerate their nonsense.”
What? Sorry, but no matter how some Arabs are, this is not a reason to break up with all Arabs. Did you forget, that Mona herself is in Arab? Live the moment an breathe? Do you think all Arabs “squeeze” you that way? There are some Arabs with bad behaviour and there are some Arabs with good.
And what is wrong to get married and get babys. I don’t mean to get marry against her will, to marry the one she or he want.

I am sorry for you, If the marriage is for you the prison, because maybe you don’t know what love can be.
I am an Arab and a Muslim. I also study at a University and work like what Mona do. And no, I am not married and not engaged. But If the time is come, why not? I mean, to find the “soulmate”, is not wrong. Not all female and male Arabs are the same. But stop judge other, especially all married female Arabs. I know that there are many Arabs, who are not educated , especially in their own religion, they make her own rule mixing them with traditions in religion.

“Mona, I think you need a lovely espresso coffee and some chocolate and a nice book to drift your mind away to Arab-free land.”
Why are you full of hatred? I mean you are an Arab. Why denying your roots?

@Kamran Rahman
What? A Muslim has to respect their parents, especially his/her mother. And why should she do that to her parents. I mean, her parents gave her the chance to study, and first of all God. So we should be thankful to our parents and especially to the Allmighty, and not be arrogant. Just because we studied and we are educated, we have not the right to treat them in a bad way.

@Anonymous 1
Popping useless kids? Oh please, would you call this to your mother?

@Lena
I don’t wish to “harm Mona” with my words. But I’m speaking from my end. I can’t stand Arabs and I hate them so much, even if I am an Arab, I cut myself away from them because I find it takes me to a world of comfort. Reason why I hate Arabs:

1.) They don’t mind their own business
2.) They gossip too much and not many of them are productive
3.) They envy people who have what they don’t have
4.) They spread lies in their communities

Well I could be wrong, I have always learnt from my parents to stay away from Arabs, we always buy houses miles away from their areas, we speak in english when we see them in malls and we run away. I’m sorry if this truth is too much for you, but again I am a proud Arab and I do love some things about Arabs such as:

1.) Their hospitality
2.) Their generosity
3.) Their bravery
4.) Their loyalty

But sadly, we only still find these traits in Bedouins, Spiritual people most Arabs have drifted away from these features which distinguish us.

P.S. Mona, I didn’t mean to offend you, I’m sorry if I did. I didn’t mean any harm

Oh and did I mention hypocrisy and double standards? Yeah… those point sum up the word ‘Arab’ for you. Believe me, I am not the only one who thinks like this. Anyway, Peace out and Salamz. Have a good day

Well, what I meant about popping useless kids is not necessarily just any children. Most of them are uneducated mothers that just do not educate their children on any values, and no religion at all. And for sure there are some excellent families, as they support them as much as I can.

But look around you, a lot of people just cook for their children, make sure they don’t get into the worst situations, and drive them in the car for their errands(soccer practice, ballet, etc..). That little extra touch that makes them better and above average individuals is lacking. Imagine if most mothers had all raised today’s children on superior values, and pushing them forward in life then just raising them like cattle; only an educated mother can add that extra touch.

Another good post.

We’re rooting for you.

I’d be psyched if you got married, but I’m glad you are holding out for the right one.

I’m also glad you gave up b/c you seem happier.

Note that this is my only source for Arab culture. I take it all with a grain of salt believing that we’re all individuals not just robots following a cultural mold.

I have to admit, I love the way you said, “Unfortunately for them, I breath the air God bestowed upon the masses. It’s way cleaner.”

Forget them, as long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter what ppl say/think…it’s not like those married women are happy with their married lives?

i think mona or i hope that God has a good man lined up 4 u soon ..that will accept u as u r caz no 1 should ever change who they r ..not 4 any1 caz if u do ..well u will only be able 2 do it 4 so long n u wont really be happy either ….1 of the things i hate most is people talking bad about other people …if u dont have anything good 2 say DONT SAY ANYTHING !! …p.s mona i dont know if u do or if u dont n its none of my bussiness but u should pray n ask God 4 help n so on …u r a very good person mona n dont change 4 any1 EVER !:))))

@Mona

I apologize for assuming you live with your family and are not independent. I shouldn’t make assumptions but you just don’t see that many successful 29 year olds supporting their parents by having them live in with them.

Although you support your family you are still going to hear about stuff via your parents just because you all live together, regardless of who pays the bills. I am not saying this because you are an Arab girl, I am saying this because parents from Eastern cultures can be rather overpowering at times although this may not apply to your parents regardless of your gender.

Now I do assume that you were getting heat from your parents. If not from your parents how do you manage to get the pressure? Do you actually hang out with these Arab parents?

I don’t see how moving out is modern. Moving out is ‘normal’ during your early adulthood.

As for this whole marriage thing, its a choice as to whether you want to hear about it or not. You can choose to associate yourself with people like that or you can simply detach yourself from the environment. There is no point in sticking around in an unfavorable atmosphere.

@Mona
Well yes you are right about everyone being different.

But you are definitely right about not paying rent. If I was single would I put up with that sort of thing in order to live a little more comfortably? Most definitely.

You set the conditions to how people treat you and they also get used to the way you allow them to treat you. Don’t allow anyone to disrespect you, EVER, and do not fall into the black abyss of cultural superstitions, you will never come out of it. Be very careful ladies do not become another statistic, we already have many in the world. Please think about the intentions of people who are giving you advice, especially if you are a woman. Even the most intelligent can fall prey to scare tactics, Ive seen it happen with my own eyes. x

Do you really think ethnicity has that much to do with it? I mean, sure, some cultures are less focused on competing and showing off than others, but I think there is a bit of that showiness no matter where you come from. There’s always a hierarchy and a desire to have more than those around you. That’s my extended family in a nutshell.

I wish Mona to get married soon! lol.
With the best guy for her off course.

Well,I cant read all the posts.What i want t say is that i am a pakistani and i like arab girls more than other asian girls.Even i wanna marry an aarb girl bcoz i love them man,i love their style.