I don’t want it
Someone emailed me last week saying, “Mona, don’t let anyone bother you, they are just jealous because you are better than them.”
I apologize for the lack of words that have been eloquently displayed on this blog for the past few days. I have been having a bad week. I always ask my self day by day, what am I doing in life that is horrible for people to dislike me or causing others to control my actions so badly so they seem better in others eyes?
I do nothing. I have done nothing magical or beyond comprehension. I am me. I have certain talents that seem beyond comprehension or shocking to others. Or maybe people don’t understand it. How can a very quite person, a girl, who seems a bit out of it at times and cannot put two sentences together, can produce such extraordinarily work?
I have co-workers at work that hate my guts or are just dying with envy with the way I commit my self to the work I am given. They don’t understand that money is not everything, and life is not black and white and you can only do this but not that. They don’t understand the type of people who are like me. The way we think. The way we want to represent our selves to the world by our work.
We are committed. We push our selves beyond our limits because we have to. Life is more than just give me this and I will give you that in return. I find joy in achieving my best and going beyond my abilities. I like to try new things because I am not afraid of failure. You fail if you do not try your best.
Now, I am a bit calm and I just didn’t want to talk the past week. I needed time to understand if the fault was mine or are people seeing something in me that needs to be stopped. I do not like to cause any problems at work or even bother with anyone. It is enough that I am stressing my self daily to reach higher levels of achievements. I am just committed to what I do and strive for excellence.
It doesn’t seem to sink in with others and it caused problems this week at work. I just sit quiet and ignore people for the faults they commit by crossing my line without any reason other than pure control and undermining my abilities. They don’t understand the overall picture, or maybe they don’t understand where I am coming from.
Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!
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I looove FouseyTube!! All of his videos are... 
Hi Mona, do you remember me. I hope you feel better soon. And get over the depressed feelings and mood.
I think the best thing we can do is to get balance in the things we do or complete each day. Try to do as much of the overall things as we can to complete them fairly equally, and not give too much time to one thing, to the disadvantage of anything else.
Have a good day. Write to my email if you ever want to chat at a messenger. As you know I don’t think of checking here a lot. But you are more important than the blog, and I hope you feel better, and that these problems get less soon.
Take care.
Hi Mona,
Hate to break it to you dear, but most people say that (though I assume you already know that). I hate these feelings of fake sympathy and empathy. I hate when people try to manipulate the situation. I Hope everything gets better for you soon dear.
Grab yourself a coffee, play with Squibby a bit and just relax (I know its easier said than done).
Get better soon.
xx Sarah
Hi
You are so right when you say “You fail if you do not try your best.” Failure is where we learn and develop beyond our existing abilities and capabilities.
People who relish this are usually envied and most importantly hold themselves to very high standards.
Mona, you need to relax and enjoy your successes as much as you learn from failures. All that matters is that you are satisfied with your performance
Sure, it’s all your fault.
@dave
Hello,
Thanks for your comment, that was nice. However, I don’t chat on messenger with anyone. If I start this trend, I will be chatting 24/7 with far too many people than my brain can handle. You can email me at anytime or add me to Facebook. I reply to those for sure!
@Sarah
I drink far too much coffee a day!
@Oussama
Exactly! Self-satisfaction is the best remedy to all this nonsense!
@Emad
And what is your fault? Or are you purely an angel with no faults at all?
Mona, you’re a very bright and honest person. A bit self-righteous for my taste, but hey, nobody’s perfect.
Of course I grew up Irish Catholic so I’m kinda into self-abuse and shit like that. To each his own eh? Anyways, a wise person once told me that what other people think of me is none of my business. There’s always going to be people who don’t like or respect you. That’s their problem.
Hi mona, I have this problem about time on the computer. Spending all day really. And I have been thinking about doing something about this, and recording how much time i spend on which things, so I can make it more balanced between them. Then i might feel better. Kind of related to the advice I said to you in the other comment. And so I had searched for some kind of timers, and have just watched this video. Now I thought of you before seeing if you replied. And thought it might help you too. Or you could use it. I know you work a lot, and must spend a lot of time on the blog sometimes too. And don’t know how much leisure time you have.
Have a look and see. I hope you get interested by it. If you don’t like that, there are a lot of other timers for the internet browser, and also how much time you use on the computer in total. So it could be useful, to see how things are divided, and find more balance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6udGGoDrCtE
I only have few people at facebook at the moment, so I will only add very close people there. But I’ll write sometimes.
Have a good week. Take care. dave xx
@Mona
I knew that am responsible for any problem i have by 60%. Used to tell myself” Sure, it’s your fault Emad”.
Yes, when I don’t care about people feelings and differences ,when I overreact, when I reject someone gesture , when I make distance from the others, when I don’t understand people needs and weakness,when I don’t forgive, when I treat myself as distinguished not “one of you people”,
Then “sure, it is my fault”.