Someone emailed me last week saying, “Mona, don’t let anyone bother you, they are just jealous because you are better than them.”

I apologize for the lack of words that have been eloquently displayed on this blog for the past few days. I have been having a bad week. I always ask my self day by day, what am I doing in life that is horrible for people to dislike me or causing others to control my actions so badly so they seem better in others eyes?

I do nothing. I have done nothing magical or beyond comprehension. I am me. I have certain talents that seem beyond comprehension or shocking to others. Or maybe people don’t understand it. How can a very quite person, a girl, who seems a bit out of it at times and cannot put two sentences together, can produce such extraordinarily work?

I have co-workers at work that hate my guts or are just dying with envy with the way I commit my self to the work I am given. They don’t understand that money is not everything, and life is not black and white and you can only do this but not that. They don’t understand the type of people who are like me. The way we think. The way we want to represent our selves to the world by our work.

We are committed. We push our selves beyond our limits because we have to. Life is more than just give me this and I will give you that in return. I find joy in achieving my best and going beyond my abilities. I like to try new things because I am not afraid of failure. You fail if you do not try your best.

Now, I am a bit calm and I just didn’t want to talk the past week. I needed time to understand if the fault was mine or are people seeing something in me that needs to be stopped. I do not like to cause any problems at work or even bother with anyone. It is enough that I am stressing my self daily to reach higher levels of achievements. I am just committed to what I do and strive for excellence.

It doesn’t seem to sink in with others and it caused problems this week at work. I just sit quiet and ignore people for the faults they commit by crossing my line without any reason other than pure control and undermining my abilities. They don’t understand the overall picture, or maybe they don’t understand where I am coming from.

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, They said what?, Whatever!

My parents today were expressing their dissatisfaction of the way Arabs are portraying them selves in the media. What they represent now in the media is beyond comprehension. Maybe if someone else saw it in a different light then it would be just fine. However, as an Arab hearing and seeing the crap that other Arabs say on TV is beyond disrespectful to our culture as a whole.

You see, in the Western world, almost every thing portrayed on television is fine. As a person that has lived far too many years in these lands find nothing wrong with the way life is here. I got used to it and find nothing shocking at all about it. I just learned to respect my self and do what I want and not bother with the way others act. To each his/her own.

I got used to two lovey dovey kissing in the middle of a public street, or some teenagers swearing like no tomorrow thinking they are the bomb, or some group of girls wearing barely nothing in the hot summer days. Also, on TV when I watch movies with sexual innuendos or not so child friendly scenes, then I don’t give a crap. It is fine. It is some form of art that honestly means nothing beyond that.

But why when Arabs act the same way on TV or even real life then it seems appalling and beyond disrespectful?

I know that many of us Arabs (me) are trying to see life in a different light and change it so badly. However, is change in that direction a good thing or not? Will it make us a better culture or not if we sway our morals and eliminate the core essence of our civilization?

What do you think? Is it just me, western media’s effect, Arabs change to the wrong direction, or just a group of Arabs that don’t know any better that are causing this unacceptable ideology?

Blah Blah, Culture, They said what?, Whatever!

I know this one: Trouble 1, and this one: Trouble 2, and maybe this one: Trouble 3 are continually causing havoc. People want to comment so bad but end up emailing me instead. It has been going on for months and I have been ignoring these emails for a reason. However, I have been noticing a trend in the way Arabs are perceiving me because of the stuff I write on here.

So today I want to discuss a bigger issue. Why do many Arabs seem far too emotional when they start talking about themselves or when others talk about them?

Look at me for example. When I am pissed off and feeling like crap, I take unknown visitors words to heart and want to scream from anger at such pointless comments. I keep telling my self that it is about time to end this crap and get on with my life. Then from day to night I change my mind instantly without questioning the reason why I did.

Arabs are the same. I think it is in our blood or something. We seem to be so emotionally driven by anything that we always forget the bigger picture. So far in my whole 29 years of life, I have NEVER met an Arab who was NOT far too emotional about the most mundane things. Why is that? Are we just raised this way?

Is it too much love from the family or the emotional control from our families that caused this?

Also guilt! We are raised to always feel guilty. We feel guilty about anything. So to push aside such an emotion when we do anything that is remotely unapproved by authority, we end up doing stuff in secrecy without anyone’s knowledge to erase this guilt from our heads.

However, all the previous are excuses of the bigger issue. The real reason for all this is what we see on TV and read in the news. The way we react to it and our helplessness to do anything about it. We see how Arabs are treated and the crap that is said about us. We see our families in Palestine, our neighbors in Iraq, and the way the western media controls the oil driven Arab country’s way of life. So we sit there and watch how our culture is falling, how our traditions are dying,  and how the simplest means of life are controlled by others.

No wonder we are emotional.

Culture, Palestine, Religion, They said what?, Whatever!

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P.S. Why would anyone want to watch The Social Network? Facebook is huge.. we get it!

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