Bringing back the past – Dear Mona moment

Another dear Mona moment.. but this time, it is remembering things I didn’t want to. However, when I think about, it’s all in this blog. It’s like a permanent part of me now. I cannot remove it, and people will take it into consideration and ask me.

Confused Arab Girl said,

Hi Mona!

I have been keeping up with your blog for so long.. I even read the older posts! Hahha I feel like I can relate to the majority of them. I read your one post about your ex, and if I can remember correctly, he left you with no explanation? And later got married to someone from overseas?

Sadly I’m going through somewhat of a similar situation.. I went to school with this guy and he’s been trying to talk to me for awhile. At first I wasn’t interested, and didn’t want anything to do with him. He asked a mutual close friend to talk to me and convince me to give him a chance. I finally did, and we started talking here and there. Than our short conversations few times a week turned into long conversations daily! I honestly thought he was it, we had so much in common. And of course he told me things every girl would want to hear, but it all felt so real! A few months later, he stopped talking to me with no explanation! Weeks went on, then two months later, our mutual friend told me he was getting engaged to a girl from overseas. All those feelings came back, I was in complete shock! I never thought it would come to that, especially after everything he has told me. If he really cared like he said he did, why didn’t he tell me? Was I not worth an explanation? It’s killing me inside to just ask him what happened and why he didn’t just tell me. Had he told me before I don’t think I would be as hurt as I was finding out from someone else. My question is.. should I ask him what happened? Or is it not worth it anymore and just move on? It bothers me so much not knowing what happened, but would knowing what happened hurt me more? So confused!
I would really appreciate your advice!!

Confused Arab Girl

Dear Confused Arab Girl,

I know deep down inside of you you would like to know what happened. Not because you are afraid to get hurt, but you just want to know so you would stop thinking about it. Either way, he left you, you are hurt. End of story. Nothing more to do about it.

I am not sure how much you read, but my story escalated. You can say I found out what he did, no explanation other than being a typical Arab male, and I just forgot about it. A few months later, he contacted me after he saw me (took one glimpse), and then wondered what if. To me, if you are married, it is sinful to even think about someone else. If you are, then frigg, you should not be married at all. He even asked me to meet him for lunch to talk. I am like wtf!

You see, trying to know and getting an explanation or any reason why is pointless. The story ended. The red line has been crossed and that’s it. Anything past that line is pointless, hopeless, and it won’t let you move on with your life.

It is better to move on with your life and make any new choices that you can come up with. It may be new love, new career change, new everything, but you have to change in order to move on.

In my case, I am just preaching. I am forgetting, but I don’t want to deal with such a thing again. I guess after that I have become an incredibly patient person, beyond anyone’s belief, but I have serious temper problems. I blow up the second anyone crosses the line, and I rather just have my own space.

How long will I stay this way? I don’t know. One day things will change, but I guarantee you that being bitter sometimes helps you stop making wrong decisions and think twice from now on.

If anyone has a story or a question to share, please contact me and I will post it!

Advice, Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Thank you, They said what?