You know, this post may seem sappy but after so many years being alone, I have no idea what being in love is anymore. How do people fall in love? How do people share feelings for one another? Is it easy like before, or so complicated because we live in a world with various forms of communication?

So many questions, but what is the answer?

I don’t know what love is. I don’t even remember if I ever loved anyone or if I could call it love. Why are people so obsessed over “love”?

I want that tingly feeling that people talk about. I want butterflies in my stomach. I want this emotional tie with someone. I want this “thing!”

However, is it all just part of my imagination? Is it all just psychological nonsense?

I think I want lots of things in life, but I don’t know if this thing called “love” something I want forever, or just want to experience it once in my life to just say that I did. You guys know what I mean.

Happy Loving Tuesday!

Blah Blah, They said what?, Whatever!

I always wondered how one portrays their confidence without being called arrogant. I am not sure where to even begin. If one has any form of over confidence, they label them as arrogant. So if one is arrogant, would people would think they are confident?

What do you think? Have you ever been labeled arrogant but all you really meant to be at that situation just a bit over confident. It is more of a protective and stubborn state of mind, nothing more.

And the final question! Do you guys really think I am arrogant or just confident enough to seem that I am arrogant?

Blah Blah, Confused, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, Whatever!

You guys got to watch this. I love the way it is done.. It is called, “5 minutes of Syria.”

What do you think?

5 minutes of Syria from Ruslan Fedotow on Vimeo.

Video from journey
Director of photography: Ruslan Fedotow
Edit/color: Ruslan Fedotow

70-200mm IS, 50mm 1.8

Video

I feel like dancing.

So I listen to old tunes, shake my head, and groove to the music. I guess music always makes me feel better about my self. It shouldn’t, but no one else makes me feel better about my self so I got to resort to something.

What am I saying? Maybe I am high on hot chocolate. I am just sipping it while contemplating the words to spit out in this blog post. Sugarlicious drinks always bring me some type of inspiration and a few caloric intake. But you know what? Who gives a shit! We live only once, and if it is a short or long life, hot chocolate won’t kill me, but will only make me more fun.

Fun. What a crazy word that is. I don’t even remember the last time I had fun. I think I am just too serious. I am a very serious person and I need to step it down a bit and have some fun in life. Like going out somewhere, like out of the house for instance. That’s always fun! But I am trying to achieve something more important because I am an intellectual person.

Me. Intellectual? No I don’t think so. I never was or ever will be. However, I am a bit too smart for my liking and way over analyzing. I blame computer science. Female. Computer Science. Programmer. Such a wrong combination. I am not smart because I studied that crap. I was just smart enough to make use of it for my own desires. The desire of being the one creating something and not just being the end user.

It’s funny that I mentioned end user. We are all end users. We are using the internet to bring us all together and in the end of it all, there is us. Us. We. You and I and them. We are all brought together in this virtual medium and it only seems that we may never come together and have some fun at a party that I will be hosting.

Can you imagine me hosting a party? It’s like asking Charlie Sheen to shut up. Never will happen! However, the sound of it is awesome and we should do it one day. So you guys organize it and get it all sorted out. It’s not that I don’t have money or anything to make it a really awesome party. Remember I am smart and I create stuff and people like me actually can afford to do stuff in life. But I, like 95.5% of the world who suffer from some form of attention deficit, I cannot plan shit. So one of you anal people out there who love to be super organized and want everything oh so perfect should do it.

Invite me. Don’t forget! I came up with the idea!

What am I saying. The chocolate is wearing off. Fuck this shit. I just need to relax and get the point.

I am sick of men. How about that? Sorry for 50% of the world, but fuck it. Men piss me off. Through out half my life, I couldn’t for the life of me find a normal guy who doesn’t lie, who is honest, sweet, truthful, fun to talk to, smart, good to others and just wants to live a simple life. I just give up. I am 30 and I give up.

Fuck it.

Angry, Blah Blah, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!