Hi everyone,

This is going to be my last blog post. I will be shutting down this blog, my twitter @rebelliousgirl account and deactivaing my facebook account.

I will tell you why…

I grew out of it. I no longer feel that I am this person that I created online. I want to be my self. I don’t want to keep this facade of an online name to carry forever. It was a great gig since December 23, 2005, but everything good has to come to an end.

I have met incredible people. I have also met horrible people. I conversed, argued, chatted, socialized with random people all over the world. I don’t have any regrets.

You have to understand why I am going all this. I am not longer who I was 5.5 years ago. I cannot keep pretending that I am. Also, it got to the point where I don’t want to answer and be dear Mona to random teenage girls who don’t “get it” yet, and be a random catch to a guy who is trying really hard to find a girl from the other side of the world to like him and bring him over.

I just don’t feel any connection anymore with the point of this blog and my rants. I don’t want to rant anymore. I don’t want to continue being someone I am not.

Thanks to all my readers. Thanks to all the subscribers. If you still want to keep up with my life, then email me to rebelliousarabgirl@gmail.com … I will provide you with my new twitter account. That’s all that I am going to be using from now on. Everything will be removed on August 1st, 2011.

Again, thank you. I love you guys. You did put a smile on my face when I really needed it.

-Mona

Random Thoughts

I am known to make very spontaneous decisions in life, but this time, it will be slow but painful. I am going to quit the technical world but slowly. I do enjoy the part where I problem solve and be creative. I am very happy that I have a Computer Science degree, but I have been doing it for almost nine years, and it is not me. Not me at all.

That’s why I am trying my best to do other certifications, and now I applied for a volunteer position to help out kids in need and manage events and stuff. I still didn’t get the volunteer position, but I am keeping my finger crossed and I really want to do something else in life and sway as much as I can from the IT world.

I will tell you why I decided this. You see, in my previous job, although I came across to others that I didn’t like it, but I really loved what I was doing. There were a lot of ups and downs, but I had a purpose to help humanity with the software I was creating. What am I doing now? What have I been doing for the past two years? Making rich people become richer? Commercial software that has no great human purpose is driving me up the wall.

No wonder I have not been blogging a lot for the past two years. When I kept saying that this job was sucking the life out of me, I wasn’t joking. If I ever stay in this field, it better be for the purpose of helping people; otherwise, what’s the point? I lost touch with who I am. I am not like this. I am Mona. I am nice. I love helping people and doing something that makes someone else smile.

No wonder I wanted to study Biology and become some researcher finding a cure to some detrimental disease or become a doctor. But I didn’t sign up for this.

If my career and life is not based on enhancing the well being of humanity and contributing something in order for people to use and help them live life, then I don’t want it. I realized this too late. Or maybe it was just bottled down inside of me because I was lost in this world I accidentally fell into.

I know I have complained enough in the past. This is why I was complaining. I got sick of it and I cannot get out of it that easily. I have to try other ways. The day I started dreading waking up in the morning to go to work, then I knew I just have to end it soon in any way possible.

Thank God that I am only 30 and want to end this soon, and not live my life with regrets.

Blah Blah, Depressed, Random Thoughts

I am not sure..

What’s more to say? I got sick of stalkers. I got sick of emails from FOBS who don’t know any better. I got sick of talking and people taking things the wrong way. Why blog? Maybe I need a new blog.. new representation of who I really am instead of living my online life behind a crazy rebellion.

Maybe I am just tired of trying to continue something that was only good and worth my time 5 years ago.. I think I have better things to do with my life.. I mean I still Twitter and I am very active on Facebook.. but it is all cause of this blog. So I can’t stop it.. I just need to rethink the representation.

Seriously, I love all of you 2100+ Twitter followers.

I love all of the 600+ friends on Facebook. (No, I don’t need a fan page, and I am sticking of being a person and not online mini celeb.)

I just feel a bit disconnected between my blog and me. I don’t know how it happened or why, but I need to find that missing link.

I am just blabbering on and on. I think I need to stop talking.. I do have way too much energy and I am always beyond hyper and happy. I think I just need a nice cup of coffee right now and reflect on my life.

P.S. It is sad to hear about celebrities dying before they even reach 30. I feel lucky to be normal. I really do.

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts

You should never give up.. never give up.. never give up!!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts

I still feel there is a mass denial of girls in information technology. I was even asked once in an interview why a girl (me) is in IT. Now that I think of it, why the IT society cannot accept it right away? I am really trying hard here to understand. I have been trying to understand for a long time this unfair assessment of us women in this field. We get paid less. We don’t get the proper attention and acknowledgement out of our work. I am just really sick of it. No wonder less and less women are going into this technical field. I should have stuck to Biology and I could have had my PhD by now and been a lab bum.

I don’t know what to do. I really wish I can start something that will turn out really big and not even have to worry about looking for a better job or working for anyone. However, my current employment is sucking the life out of me and I don’t have the time to be creative.

Arghh..

I am going relax and do nothing. Brain shut down for today.

Salute!

Blah Blah, Random Thoughts, Ranting as usual!, They said what?, Whatever!